We have a single nightstand
It is a good, solid nightstand
It has a lamp that gives just enough light
And the surface holds just enough things

We talk about having another nightstand
You know, so maybe we can expand
He agrees that, yes, maybe it'd be good to have another nightstand
We part thinking having a second nightstand is the plan

It'd be brighter
And there would be space to unpack more things
A single nightstand is good
But not enough for two people, it is unequal in the service it brings

I wait to hear his thoughts for the second nightstand
And I keep waiting, starting to question his intent;
But no, he knows. And besides, he said he wanted the second nightstand
And there was no reason to lie about how he felt

I think of reminding him about the second nightstand
You know, the one that would give us just enough room to expand
But turns out that wasn't actually his plan
And all he wanted was the one night stand.

Part of me pines for you.
The practical side tells me to move on.
I don't know what to do, except what I've always done: act like nothing is the matter and stay strong.

I fear though that that might hurt things,
Make it seem to you that I do not care.
But then who knows if this even matters to you?!
I'm probably stupid and foolish to think this will all work out fair.

And there I was laying, my head in his lap. And there he was looking like some sort of Buddha. That's how it went, with me looking up and him looking down. That moment summarized everything we were. I aspired to his level, respect, superiority; he tried to change my ways. There were times when I believed in his power, his creed, and was avid about it, about him. But there were times I struggled to make sense of it all. Was it really what I wanted and what I stood for? There's a time when you are losing your religion where you still go through the motions for a bit, either from fear of change or in a desperate attempt to regain your former fervor. But eventually going through the motions becomes a chore, and then there isn't a Buddha anymore.

The drink
To drink?
No drink.

She drinks and is happy, elated;
She doesn't drink, she cries;

She drinks, she lies;
She doesn't drink, she dies;

The drink
To drink?
No drink- do the right thing and believe in tomorrow;
Tomorrow might just relieve the sorrow.

Bright and shining
Golden yellow all over
She's a dancer swaying with the light and breeze
A force to be reckoned with
Contained, she's pleasurable and warm
Mesmerizing to watch.
Unrestrained she can bring down cities
scorch you to the core
Always feeding on something
She's a death trap, she'll eat you alive
And she'll just keep going
It's what she has to do to survive.
So many think they know her
They have seen her do her work
Yet she is a mystery- a fascination to all who have ever encountered her.
Who is she?
What makes her able to add sparkle to a room,
Romance to an evening,
Dread to the eerie situation,
Confidence in the dark?
So malleable yet so strong
She is a dancer
She is a fire

The walls are there for a reason
As ugly and inconvenient as they may be
The walls are there for a reason
Though the reasons may only be clear to me

The trust is gone for a reason
People are fickle and they lie
The trust is absent for a reason
Though many may ask why

The love is gone for a reason
My memory has much it has stowed
The love is gone for a reason
Because of more hurt than is allowed to let show

The stability is gone for a reason
Too much changes in a glance
The stability is gone for a reason
Although stability never stood much of a chance

The distance is there for a reason
Can't let people or things become too dear
The distance is there for a reason
Betrayal is what I most fear

I'm in a room surrounded
Trapped and locked inside
There's a door on which I'm pounding with all my power and my might

Then pretty soon I realized
I'm the one with the key
And if only I could find the lock, Then I'd be able to leave

But the keyhole is misshapen
It has been beaten and worn down
The key will not fit and I wonder if I will ever be found

There is no way to repair the lock
I can only break down the wall
If I want to move past the room that contains me, I need to break it, once and for all.

The walls won't come tumbling down
There's no horn player from Jericho
The fortress took years to build
And more scars than the stones let show

You chipped away at the barrier
You really, truly did
For a while some interior was exposed
The fortress' contents unhid

But danger is ever present
Some entrants will be foes
And castles have no filter
The drawbridge is either open or closed

And even thought the door was shut
You swam across the moat
Fighting to be let in
Not realizing the futility of your hope

In the end you will not win
No matter how strong the advance
The guards are strong and the castle cold
You never stood a chance

However, you left something long lasting
Something that cannot be taken back
You left a crack in the fortress
And maybe one day the walls will collapse

Eb and Flow
To and Fro
Push and Pull
Which way to go?

Beginning: A lamb with a fluffy fleece
Soon she will be naked
These fine strands of taken
To be twisted by a machine
From an atom-like jumble comes a line
And the line is to be twisted yet again
But twisted in a methodical pattern
Cast off, put on. The sock.