As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Another morning gently weep
The price I pay when I awake

I never chose to be alone
I was left waiting
as everyone around me
got their own partners
Each and everyone
finding someone
leaving me with a smaller possibility
to find mine
I busy myself
with responsibilities and obligations
no such luck
Certain distractions only last so much
I still wallow in deep thought
about the time I get to meet you, my dear.
I hope it would be perfect
As how they say it would be
With one glance
I'll fall in the abyss
of blissful uncertainty
With love comes the risk
to be vulnerable
the danger to get hurt
But, seeing all these couples around me
makes me desire
the thought of being hurt
because only then
can I know that I love
It is better than this feeling of loneliness.
Bitter images and emptiness
fill my broken hours
of insomniac wonderment
I stare blankly at a wall
keeping my normal self showing
as the world around me falls asleep
I lie awake thinking how unfortunate
it is to never be
someone's first thought in the morning
or someone's last thought of goodnight

I should have known better, I should have known more.
I should have listened to an old friend before.
He told me things I thought was lies.
Because of this I ended in demise.

I should have known better, I should have known more.
I should have noticed that you can’t look at me in the eye before.
I told my peers that you’re kind and benign.
Who knows that at this day you’ll draw the line.

But its fine, I’m not that disturb.
Of the crestfallen things that I’ve heard.
Still I’m fine, I’m just alright.
Doing things that I seem right.

I’m surprise about your vibrant sinister smiles,
Never thought that it’s just covered with cheap bright dyes.
The weightless words coming from your mouth was all lies.
I should have known better, I should have known more.
I should have never trusted you before.

There are times when the clock waltz's faster
And steps on her feet till she can't keep upright.
There are times when the clock stands still
And she looks into the eyes of the one thing she cannot master.

Alice sits beside the looking glass and touches her reflection
Breaking down beside the girl she cannot see is perfection.

I can't help him when I can't even help myself anymore
Because days have turned into months and I'm just dying to crawl
Out of my skin and out of this world
it's full of sadness and carelessness and misery and doubt
And I had you back for a moment and now you're walking back out
And I can't keep apologizing for stupid little things
And giving people advice when all I need is an embrace
To let me know I am human and that it will all be okay
But I'm sinking in sorrow and the snow just keeps falling
And I can't help but wonder what would happen if I laid down on the ground
And let this white blanket consume me
Would I die and be reborn or
Become absolutely nothing

I can't let myself
fall for you; I'm too close to
the edge as it is.