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Dec 2015 · 880
tunnels
Kate Irons Dec 2015
everyday I walk past the same bus stop searching for a familiar face in the windows
I couldn't tell you how many times the bus stops there each day but I can remember each time the memories begin in my fingers and ended in the tears on my cheek and how often the driver closes the door so fast that it busts on my face like my windshield did last Christmas break and how I sat and listened to each piece of glass cutting into me like the words of my father whose religion was drinking himself to death
everyday I walk past the same bus stop with the same people at the same hour and I wonder how often they go home to shaking bodies and broken bones and how many times that door gets slammed in their face so hard that they remember every time he grabbed her too hard and how she would claw the door for someone to pull her up for air or how often they almost got away but they didn't press the gas hard enough or the window wasn't high enough
and I wonder how many of the innocent souls on the damaged bus have seen the light after they've been in the dark for so long
Nov 2015 · 726
past times
Kate Irons Nov 2015
everything was such a beautiful lie and I never had the courage to hear the truth being screamed in my face
Nov 2015 · 823
loose noose
Kate Irons Nov 2015
he makes me feel like I'm running to the subway with only a minute to spare and I can't tell whether I make it in time or not
Sep 2015 · 545
the way
Kate Irons Sep 2015
I saw your face for the first time in over a month today. for some reason, it still hurt to see you smile and laugh with other people.

we haven't spoken in weeks and we probably won't ever feel the need to again. but God ****** there's something about you that won't get out of my head.
Aug 2015 · 469
Optional
Kate Irons Aug 2015
I ruin everything I love
Aug 2015 · 521
the details
Kate Irons Aug 2015
I've built this wall up for so long that I'm only now realizing that every brick I used was filled with the memories you left me
Apr 2015 · 519
false attention
Kate Irons Apr 2015
My obsession over being wanted came from never feeling wanted.
Mar 2015 · 510
noon
Kate Irons Mar 2015
and the saddest part is that i still listen to one of your voicemails that i saved from months ago because that was the last time your voice ever begged for my love
Mar 2015 · 759
lost words
Kate Irons Mar 2015
i wonder if they notice that i can't breathe when they mention your name
Mar 2015 · 513
falling x2
Kate Irons Mar 2015
i'm strangled by the thoughts of your lips on mine ever again
Mar 2015 · 479
march
Kate Irons Mar 2015
letting go is the hardest part
Feb 2015 · 420
Untitled
Kate Irons Feb 2015
help i'm sad and falling apart
Feb 2015 · 590
i remember
Kate Irons Feb 2015
1:25 AM and i can still feel your breath on my shoulder when you would beg me to stay
Feb 2015 · 487
lost and found
Kate Irons Feb 2015
It's 1:24 AM and I still remember you telling me we would last forever
Feb 2015 · 434
was it real
Kate Irons Feb 2015
She told the most beautiful lie.
Feb 2015 · 460
forgetting happiness
Kate Irons Feb 2015
i'm pretty sure that my headache has become the pain i have distracted myself with for the past few days so i didn't realize how many times you didn't answer the phone when i could barley see the words that i wrote when i was happy
Feb 2015 · 372
which way
Kate Irons Feb 2015
running from myself and getting nowhere
Feb 2015 · 443
tired memories
Kate Irons Feb 2015
i love the way my heart breaks when you say you're too busy to talk
Feb 2015 · 427
sitting shame
Kate Irons Feb 2015
crying in the rain so you can't see my tears
Feb 2015 · 575
depth
Kate Irons Feb 2015
i know i love you because you make me want to do things that i have never had the courage to do before
Feb 2015 · 365
tomorrows death
Kate Irons Feb 2015
empty bottles and they smell like you
Feb 2015 · 353
empty reflectings
Kate Irons Feb 2015
broken mirrors and they still look like you
Feb 2015 · 372
pain
Kate Irons Feb 2015
dead flowers and they smell like you
Feb 2015 · 584
two way
Kate Irons Feb 2015
i needed you but you needed her more
Feb 2015 · 375
saving arms
Kate Irons Feb 2015
hold me until every tree loses it's leaves
and every harsh winter comes to an end
Feb 2015 · 411
spitting pleasure
Kate Irons Feb 2015
All i can hear is you saying "It's okay" while
you push my head farther under the water
Feb 2015 · 400
stained sheets
Kate Irons Feb 2015
Love is waking up each day and not wanting to be anywhere else
Feb 2015 · 1.1k
small amount
Kate Irons Feb 2015
Love is when you reach for her hand instead of the bottle
Feb 2015 · 438
red lines
Kate Irons Feb 2015
i'll let you drag me to hell if it means you'll hold my hand
Feb 2015 · 493
vacant
Kate Irons Feb 2015
maybe it's because i get lost in your eyes,
maybe it's because i can't tell day from night
Feb 2015 · 548
no control
Kate Irons Feb 2015
tell me who broke you but don't say my name too loud
Jan 2015 · 338
flying down
Kate Irons Jan 2015
The butterflies you once gave me are turning to stones, and im not sure what is worse; loving someone who doesn't love you or not being loved.
Jan 2015 · 389
wrecked
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i apologize every time you hurt my feelings

and you still don't realize why i feel alone
Jan 2015 · 392
endless trail
Kate Irons Jan 2015
you moved five months ago and i'm still trying to understand how i get lost going down the same road every night
Jan 2015 · 469
Untold Future
Kate Irons Jan 2015
Tonight my grandfather looked at me and said,

"Where do you plan on being in four years?"

Usually, this question is simple to answer. The usual 'college' or what kind of job I would want to have, and I sat and thought about how I would respond. After a few moments of him staring at me, I said,

"I plan on taking care of myself for the first time."

He didn't really think that was funny, but what he didn't understand was that I wasn't joking. Ever since I was young, I have always had to take care of something or someone.

He waited for me to explain; he obviously didn't understand how that answered his question. I showed him examples from when I was young. Before my father got custody of me, I always helped my mom with whatever I could. Which wasn't a lot, because I was so young.

Between the ages of 8 - 11 are where I remember the most. This is when I was living with my father. He would fall asleep in the living room and I would wake up every night around 2:00 AM and I would check on him. He would be too drunk to wake up without getting sick, so I always tried to be quite. I would take the beer from his hand so I didn't have to clean up that mess the next morning. Then I would take his shoes and hat off, and I would turn off the TV. I'd always go back to his room to get his bed ready and then I would go back to turn all the lights off in the living room. There's no telling how many nights when I didn't get up and the doors were still wide open through the night. I would literally walk him back to his bed and lay him down, because he couldn't do by himself.

I was 8 years old.

A lot more has happen since then, and I still have to help him to bed sometimes. But now, I live with my grandparents and I have for years. They are getting to the point where I am helping them with everything.

Although my grandfather was surprised to hear my answer to his question, he listened to me for the first time and he understood.

I'm ready to take care of myself.
1/30/15
Jan 2015 · 421
unlocked
Kate Irons Jan 2015
I couldn't count how many nights
I woke up tangled in my sheets,
forgetting you weren't there
Jan 2015 · 388
blissfully
Kate Irons Jan 2015
Love is every summer night when you roll your window down and only hear his heartbeat in every song
Jan 2015 · 311
old confession
Kate Irons Jan 2015
The winds remind me how cold I've been without you
Jan 2015 · 382
are you here
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i am so sorry that everything i do is wrong and every time i apologize, i do it again. i am so sorry that i have never had someone stay as long as you, so i constantly wait for you to leave. i am so sorry that i push you away every day and all i really want is you to be here. i am so sorry that every time we talk, i cry and every time we are together, i bring up the past. i am so sorry that everything i have every done has stuck to me. i am so sorry that you can physically see the pain that i have gone through. i am so sorry that i didn’t answer your calls when you left or when i said i never cared. i cared more than anything. i am so sorry that i was never strong enough for you and i never will be. i am so sorry that you love me.

i am so so sorry.
Jan 2015 · 390
last breath
Kate Irons Jan 2015
the scars on my body make me hate everything about myself

but they remind me that i once felt something
Jan 2015 · 568
painful attraction
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i am so sorry that every time i speak, i cry
i am so sorry every sad movie leaves me feeling alone
i am so sorry that i am everything you never wanted
i am so sorry i am broken
Jan 2015 · 383
i am so sorry
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i am so sorry i am not strong enough for you
Jan 2015 · 384
circles
Kate Irons Jan 2015
trying to run away from you is like trying to forget where i live when i have to go back each night
Jan 2015 · 419
around the corner
Kate Irons Jan 2015
you tell me to calm down without realizing that you're the reason why my heart breaks whenever i see someone happy
Jan 2015 · 412
closed door
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i told you i needed you and you said you needed one more drink
Jan 2015 · 347
morning and night
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i miss the way your lips made my body still
Jan 2015 · 529
back then
Kate Irons Jan 2015
maybe if you scream my name loud enough it will muffle all the doors that were slammed in my face

maybe if you hold me tight enough then every voice saying i'm worthless will fade away
Jan 2015 · 433
trapped
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i'd say the worst part of me are all the
broken pieces of you that i tried to fix
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
gone
Kate Irons Jan 2015
loving me is like loving the dead flowers in the winter
Jan 2015 · 457
run to me
Kate Irons Jan 2015
i knew i fell in love when you first said my name
and i didn't hate the sound of it
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