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jǫrð Oct 2023
Your mother would be proud of you
That's what you told me

When I asked her, her opinion, she turned and said to me

One day he will be jailed, or my four will become three

When I pointed out your white lies
And each great or small misdeed

Objecting, you'd cry,  "I'll make
"Something" from my misery."

I cried, and I tried to tell you before it happened
What comes from this foolish pride

& You cocked your head, laughing back
While spitting in my eyes
The History: My ex boyfriend who painted me as heinous disgusting person was arrested in February. He is in jail for 3 years. I pity him, but I also tried to warn him. Another one bites the dust.
jǫrð Oct 2023
Treat me like a therapist
Until you feel embarrassed

Tell me you talk to me
Even more than your new wife

Act like it's a compliment
I know any good doctor would

Say that's unhealthy but
I am afraid of your reaction

So bite my tongue, and I listen
And then when you tell me

I remind you of your ex
You really mean I remind you

Of the one who got out from
Underneath your sweaty thumb

Unable to be controlled
And that just kills you
The History: He talks to me any which way he pleases. I have accepted the indiscretions, in addition to his displaced and covert professions of love. He is higher on the food chain and I am not afraid to point out his weakness. He is wholly unreliable and hates that I know, or so it seems. He is quick to anger, the closest external contact I've had with sociopathic tendencies. He lies for his own preservation, he ignores risk factors, he disregards others' experiences.
I struggle with some of the same issues. I identify them within me and work to change them. He has influenced me to be a better person so as not to end up alone as he has, comparing strangers to people of his past and allowing his bias to control every interaction. Sad from someone who's had such a long time to get it together. I sense, regret.
jǫrð Oct 2023
He died here
And his soul
Says, with the
Sky,
"Look away
Child, avert
Your eyes,
From these
Continuous
Atrocities
You are
Powerless to
Change.

Look to the
Colors ive
Painted high
Those who
Could, will
Never help"
We admire
The sunset
And search
The astral
Instead.
The History: I sat where he was hit for a while, they say I shouldn't be upset, I didn't watch him die, I was merely there for the precursors to the event. How is that any better? I look away from the crosswalk, to my left. I see the sky painted the most gorgeous sunset each time I miss him. I weep, because this was all entirely preventable and everyone just looked away when something could have been done months in advance, after I said something. Now nothing can bring him back, and they just don't think about it.
jǫrð Oct 2023
From our
Bed's stillness,
He scurries off
Softly into
The morning
Delicate and
Quiet as mice
We say goodbye
& yearn
For when we'll
Meet again.
The History: Come home.
jǫrð Sep 2023
B
Crimson rivers ran on my skin
And within, an ache
Resembled the itch of death
I had met in passing

Weeping in shadows
I locked the door and
When I called his name
He was delivered into my hands

He was the springtime
You felt inside of me
Born to autumn
His father's favorite season
History: Baldr and the Misteltoe
jǫrð Aug 2023
She said
Women don't
sit at the head
of the table

At first I was
Taken aback
By the covert
Misogyny

To know that
She worked in
Human resources
Was laughable

I could have
Screamed or
Wept for her
Ignorance, instead

I sat glaring
At the fool
That she had
Placed there

And when his
Demise began
I realized the
Truth in her words

She was an incapable leader.
The History: Projection
jǫrð Jul 2023
How, I thought,
Had I ever dreamt
Alone

Once upon a time,
When I knew not his
Fire

Free from embrace,
Assimilated by
Solitude

To revel in
Egyptian cottons
Desolate

--

How he burns me
From the inside
Out

I crave him, so,
My sleeping
Dragon

The heat in his belly
And beneath his
Skin

And I wake him
When the need
Arises

To fill me once more
With his morning
Light
The History: I would always say I need to sleep alone or else I can't rest. It turns out, I just needed to feel safe. I never want to be alone again.
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