If you loved me
You wouldn't have found someone so fast
If you cared about me
You would've wanted to text back fast
If you thought I was perfect
No matter how blind, you would've seen that I'm worth it
So I'm sorry if my trust is gone
I'm sorry that my mind is wrong
I'm sorry that my heart is crushed
And I wear my insecurities inside out
Showing how damaged I really am now
I'll never be the same as I was before
I trusted you to open every door
You took me so ******* high
But I swear when I felt the floor
I shattered into a million pieces
Watching you with someone, teasing
Me, laughing off in my face
And I couldn't keep up the pace
So I used the only chance I got
To run from that ******* place
I gave myself up
When I seen opportunity
So I'm sorry that you let me know
There would never be a you and me

Have you ever been so scared that someone would break your heart
that you just wish that they'd go and do it already
so you can run far away with no forgiveness
...
assuming that the actual heartbreak
would be less painful than
the fear of it happening.
Cuz this fear ******* hurts like hell.

I never knew how to love myself
Ending up trying but I just loathe myself
Some say it's insecurity
And some say I need help

It's kind of difficult
All these battles I've fought,
Internally...
But I'll admit it's still hurting me

The decisions I've made in the past
The mistakes I can't take back
Secrets no soul will ever know
Stories that will never be told

Wondering how did I let it get this far
How did I let it get this hard
To be happy and open up
Every time I try I get choked up

Buried inside my own soul
Regrets I have to let go
How can I tell my truth,
Without losing you?

Fate is a *****
But she gets the job done
You gotta race through hell
When your heart is on the run

I had this girl hit me up
And say we had something in common
So I asked her wassup
And then my mind started wandering

When I realized that our love life
Was in the same hole
But talking to her faithfully
Made those feelings feel old

I started questioning myself
Thinking I had a new crush
But what I didn't realize
Was what had made me feel the rush

Just as simple as a text in AM
Had me sayin
That I should think about how heavy
These options were I was weighing

Being up all night texting
Had my mind and heart debating
When it was only relating
That made me see my feelings fading

Till one night this girl
Had done something amazing
She helped me get out that hole
And there my ex was, waiting

Apparently when I wasn't looking
They had had a conversation
That opened my exes eyes
To see the mistakes that we were making

As soon as I got out that hole
I seen all the similarities
It was the fact that she cared, listened
And gave me carefully-worded clarity

So I looked in my exes eyes
And seen she's the half I was missing
And now I'm happy to say
We're again making memories to remanaice on

But I look at that hole
And my friend is still there
And I want to get her out
But that's not my heart to repair

So I sit next to this hole telling her
Her ex still cares
Cuz I know what it feels like
To believe that something is still there

Cuz Love is kind, Karma's a *****
These are feelings we can't bear
Just remember Life is pain,
But Fate is is still fair