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You've got it good you see if you're not unwanted like me an unnamed burden that is for certain a beast with no beauty a wandering soul with no rest was I that wicked in a past life? I guess I can take striking out but I've done so horribly it's hard to not dwell on it and I know I've written a lot about feeling unwanted but when you get led on by someone you thought was a friend it's like wandering into a job interview and making it far enough to get a call only to find out they hired someone and though it wasn't meant for you at all it stings your pride and beats your spirit to a ****** lifeless pulp

so while I have to indulge my feelings of emptiness and disappointment again my friends just know you aren't a waste of space and if you're in a hole like me you don't just have it good, you have it great
No structure, no boxed in pattern, just venting
  Mar 2015 Julian Pacheco
Just Melz
She shouted from the roof tops
Her love for him
And how it would never stop

He simply stared at her
In utter shock
nobody could ever love me
Or so he thought...

She smiled with her arms spread apart
Waiting for a response

He stood there silently
Unable to move but wanting to walk
Walk away from the lies
Cause he'd been hurt too many times

She begged and pleaded
Trying to make him believe
It's the truth she said

But he couldn't respond
Simply turned around to leave
women only hurt me
Was all he could believe
Too much pain and abuse
For those lies to become the truth

She sunk inside herself
Filled with pain and so many tears
After years of trying
She finally faced her fears
Only to be hit with rejection
Imperfections of love
Shown at there finest
She couldn't stand her thoughts...

He slowed his walk
Thought about the past
Suddenly came to realize
This life is your last
And there on that roof top
He may have finally found some hope
So he stopped his walk
Turned around to accept the truth
Only to find
That she had jumped off...
  Dec 2014 Julian Pacheco
WickedHope
why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me

don't you see that my heart is breaking
it's your fault i've been left this way

why do you continue to ignore me
my life is falling apart ever since you left
my life is falling apart and i've got nothing left

you packed up and walked away
no strings attached
nothing connecting us of course
because i tied all my strings into a bow
as pretty as her
as pretty as i wish i was
so sorry john green but i've no strings left to snap in me

why do you continue to ignore me
i've written song and song and poem about you
i was fine being nothing
until you made me something
i'd rather be no one and untouched
than someone left behind collecting dust

i was good enough for you until i wasn't
your brown eyes would look into mine
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me
told me you'd never leave me

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me
why did you walk away with all my strings
unraveling off of your back
Paper Towns by John Green reference in there. I hate the way he writes.
- - -
I can't see out of my left eye at all right now. Hahaha, pain.
  Dec 2014 Julian Pacheco
Poetic T
You don't see me
"Self
"Harm"
I'm cutting  
"From"
"The"
"Inside"
I don't bleed out,
I bleed within,
Scars never seen
But the pain is always real,
And felt **everyday..
  Dec 2014 Julian Pacheco
WickedHope
WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM MULTIPLE POETS

You don't cut, your wrists are fine.
          If I was dumb enough to cut my wrists I'd have been caught by now.
You're not anorexic, I've seen you eat.
          How much, really?
You're not depressed, you smile all the time.
          Yeah, because acting and lying aren't things.
     ~
WickedHope

You can't have anxiety, you talk to so many people.
          Its funny how you see me talking, but don't see the panic attacks.
     ~
aesha nisar

You have a good life. There's no reason to be sad.
          You're part of the reason why I'm depressed.
     ~
Phoenix

You're not angry, you haven't raised your voice or yelled.
          Maybe the voices yelling in my head are so loud I can't do anything
          but focus on keeping them quiet.
You're not scarred from your past, you act normal.
          If normal is crying for hours at night till tears can't come anymore
          and apathy sets in, then yes I'm quite normal.
     ~
Stardust

You are so lucky, it's so easy for you to be good at what you do.
          You don't see the intensity of doubt and countless hours of anxiety to
          get things to the point they're not too embarrassing to show someone.
     ~
PrttyBrd

You're fine. You aren't depressed, just really sad.
          If I'm not depressed, just sad, then why am I here everyday?
          Why am I here crying to you when I should be out, living?
     ~
Tiffany Smith

God I swear every guy you meet online just wants to bone you.
          You say that like its a good thing. All I want is someone I can trust,
          someone I can rely on, not someone who wants to bone me.
You have boyfriends from everywhere, india, japan, china...
          I have none. These are only friends, the only one I want is you.
Your so strong.
          Yea, 'cause going home to cry in a corner, then stuffing my face with ice
          cream while watching sad anime is totally legit.
Are you okay?
          No I'm not ok. I just want to punch both your eyes out, then cuddle with
          you and make out with your face. Then maybe I'll just take a long break
          to bawl my eyes out and get rid of all evidence, all but the telltale clue of
          how swollen my eyes are
     ~
Creep that Loved You

Come on. You can go to school. You're not sick.
          Physically, no. Now mentally...
Why are you so good at everything?
          That's because you don't bother to look deeper.
You look fine.
          Oh yeah, the red eyes and dark circles just add to my beauty.
I love you.
          Yeah, it looked like it when you were 'out' with your 'friends.'
     ~
maha salman

You're so resilient. You've been through so much pain, yet here you are living strong.
          That's because every time someone says, are you OK? I just smile and
          say I'm fine. But none of them can hear the screaming in my brain saying
          I should just die.
You're so beautiful.
          No.... The smile is fake, powder covers the circles under my eyes,
          mascara makes my eyes look bright and lip stick covers the bite marks
          on my lips from where I chew through them when I'm anxious, or
          panicking, or being asked questions. You would be repulsed by the
          beast underneath.
You're such a talented poet.
          If writing down my deepest darkest dreams, nightmares, fantasies and
          memories, make me a good poet, then yes. But all I write is the thoughts
          that scream to come out or my head will explode.
     ~
The Girl Who Loved You

You have never felt real pain, you are a man not a wuss.
          The worst pain hits you in the heart not in the head... Whats a man
          without pride, whats a man without a name?
Get over her bro, shes just one girl.
          One girl that I chose to love out of the 7 billion other people in the
          world.
Open up your heart to new people new things.
          What's the point in meeting people, when in the end they all just leave?
You aren't alone.
          I'm not alone? You lie through your teeth, where where you when I sold
          my soul to the devil and condemned myself to the abyss?
We are proud of you always, son.
          Words I've never heard, just the echoes of my parents inside my head.
You live a great life.
          That's not the message the untouched prescribed sleeping pills and           ecstasy portray.
     ~
grld

You're so patient.
          On the outside yes, in the recesses of my mind I'm screaming my
          head off... waiting for something that will never happen.
     ~
Julian Pacheco

Who cares about the others? You're not like them you're different.
          What if I don't want to be different? What If I want to curl up into a
          ball and pretend I don't think I'm failing you every moment of the day.
Life's not fair.
          Well maybe it's time it should be. Maybe it's time for us to stop
          thinking that we deserve more because that's all we've ever known.
          Maybe it's our job to MAKE life fair.
Forget it, move on.
          I don't want to. Shouldn't everyone be able to hold onto the things they
          hold close? If they were holding it close it meant something and if it
          meant something good then it's worth fighting for.
Shut up.
          No. This time I won't be quiet because I sit here and I listen to what you
          say every day; you treat whoever you want however you want and that
          is not your right. Everyone has an opinion. I want to share mine.
     ~
Forgotten Dreams

You're so confident.
          Only because you do not see the pain and turmoil it causes me
          inside, and the sores inside my cheeks to keep from crying.
Why are you shaking? It's not even cold.
          Because I'm scared, scared of scenarios untrue.
~
Makayla

You're not sad, you look so happy.
          Tell that to the guys who keep pointing all my flaws, and laughing
          about it, leaving me speechless because I have nothing to say in return.
You're such a good writer.
          And look how handy that is, won't ever shut them up for good.
You still have so much to live for.
          To keep living like this, might be considered anything but living. You're
          all too perfect for this world, but you know what? My body can't keep
          living in a different place my soul is.
     ~
A Sad Sam

Chill out man, it's just a couple people.
          To me, three people is like three thousand people. Their voices circulate
          in my head and drive me crazy until I can't help but break down. You're
          right, I should definitely just chill out because I don't know anything
          about the disorder that brings a constant burden to my days.
Why are you so antisocial? Get off the computer and do something productive for once
          Try the fact that everybody that surrounds me makes me feel like the life
          I live isn't worth living and the comfort of understand people on the
          internet keeps me sane.
You're so lazy.
          Don't you dare start on that, because every ******* day I wake up and
          breathe despite my lungs collapsing in on themselves from all the
          pressure people give me, and every single day I do the work I'm told to
          do and I'm trying my hardest but I'm fighting a war with myself and it
          takes up every ounce of energy I have left. Don't you dare tell me that
          I'm lazy when every day I take all the strength I have to keep on living.
     ~
Emma Tauzell

They had never met, didn’t know each other’s name --
          Yet their eyes were already making love.
     ~
Deborah

You can't really love someone you've never met.
          He's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes, the last
          thing I think about before I go to sleep, he's in my thoughts all
          the moments in between, his face takes away the nightmares and
          fills all my dreams. How is this not love?
     ~
Just Melz

Just forget about her and move on.
          How am I supposed to do that, when all I see is her and her
          precious qualities I so dearly love in every girl I talk to?
          Forgetting is a lot harder to do than finding.
     ~
Neb Dnarts
Feel free to add to this in the comments,
and I'll tac it on the end with credits to your screen name.
Swaying her hips,
she asks him to dance.
It is a masquerade ball,
and she's taking her chance.
From afar she had loved him,
too timid to even try.
But now she is taking,
tonight it's do or die.

Licking my lips,
I wonder if he can see,
How badly I want a kiss?
Can he sense my need?
My brazen desire
To just be pleased,
One night of lust,
Infatuation and
  greed

He pulled her close,
lips by her ear.
"Come away with me,
love me my dear."
Taking her hand he left,
through the crowd and up the street.
Stopping only once,
To kiss her oh so sweet.

My God, I wanna rip him apart right here
I'm so wet, I'm soaked through
I wanna lick, I wanna taste
I'll do whatever he wants to
I desire the feel of skin on skin
Please, just let us
  begin!

Through the park they did run,
In a gentle summer rain.
Pushing her against a tree,
her pleasure was his aim.
Under the dress his hand did go,
While he bite at her lips.
She moaned into the night,
and rocked her curvy hips.

I want him inside me,
I can't wait till we get home,
No, just do me against this tree,
I'll pleasure him, if he just pleasures me
I'm writhing, I'm wet
I want his tongue probing my mouth,
His palms splayed on my back
Then moving so much farther
  south

He turns her around,
she now faces the tree.
Throwing up the dress,
He goes on bended knee.
******* are ripped,
as his silken tongue seeks.
Her moans get louder,
as her legs get weak.

Oh, heavenly bliss
I've never felt anything sweeter
The feel of his talented lips
Just keep taking me higher
Although this is completely satisfying
The only thing I want is his entire length
  inside me

She rocked her hips,
begging for more.
As upon his tongue,
her essence did pour.
He let himself free,
Sliding it across her ****,
Then slipped slowly inside,
once he was slippery slick.

Oh My, just what I was waiting for
I failed to conceal the moan I let slip
He pushed even deeper inside me
And I couldn't help but bite my lip
With every inch I felt it farther in my core
I let out a scream, begging for
  *MORE
To Be Continued....
     Next **** Sunday

         Thanks Tata! A lot of fun with this!
              You're Great!
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