Let’s go to war
and fight with our
hearts and minds

Let’s start a battle
and crash into the sun.
One more time.

Let’s watch the tensions
lessen, a cause and effect,
directing us to chaos,
never teaching us a lesson.

Let’s watch the bombs rain
down and the feelings
dwell, unable to spell out
what we want to say,

Only lashing out,
hurting everyone,
just like yesterday.

An explosion of emotions,
An attack on the heart,
Cause and effect and
Doomed from the start,

We are the catalyst to
the problem we created
together and apart.

Still hurting, still bleeding,
Still reeling, still feeling.

Drowning in self-pity,
Confronting reality,
Where not everything
is easy.

Hopelessly broken,
Trying to find a way
To pick up the pieces.

But he keeps falling
Behind, and left
Oh so traumatized.

Shaking, trembling,
Unable to align as
The pieces fall and
Say their goodbyes.

He realizes
He's got to let it go
Or risk being
Left behind.

Spent the last few years
Living in disarray,

Always chasing safety,
Hoping I'd make it someday.

But safety only
Goes so far,

When I'm always
Going to war
With myself

And all I leave are
Scars.

Stuck in a dreamscape
Battlefield that makes it
Hard to go to sleep.

Post-traumatic stress
And nightmares eating me
For days,

Sometimes,
I just want to scream
And disappear for days.

Some days, I wonder,
Is there an end to
This storm?

Is there a better way to cope
Or will I have to suffer
A little more?

Remember back in the days,
When you were joyous
And cared without a doubt,

Before the days of darkness
Shrouded over and cast
A shadow over you?

Remember the days
You loved, and were
Loved back?

The kisses and hugs,
The smiles given back.

The days when you
Had purpose, and drive.

Nothing could stop you,
And you felt like you
Could fly.

But one day, one mistake
After the next, you kept
Falling and tumbling down.

You lost every sense of
Self, and lost yourself in the
Process.

Ignorance is bliss,
But living in denial,
Is like a deadly sin.

What you used to be,
Never really left.

None of that is ever
Really gone.

Remember the days
When you thought
You had it all?

None of that
Was ever really lost.

why do i always
go after myself

pick apart every
single thought

tear myself to
pieces and

find excuses
to not have a
heart?

life doesn't go
according to plan

and two years in
i'm caught in-between
lies i told myself

that buried me
deep within.

there's no mystery
i lived in
make-believe

it was a safety-net,
a fantasy
that made me believe

it could one day be.

but one day,
i woke up and realized

feeling sorry for myself
only goes so far, and leaves
me paralyzed.

i had to move on
from this nightmare.

i had to finally
move past,
and leave behind,

the memories with
rose-colored eyes.

They say the
grass is greener
on the other side

I tried to cross that
line and all I see
is my life in disarray.

Nothing matters
anyway,

For all I know,
misery is here
to stay.

I tried to find
beauty in
negative spaces

But it's the
same story,
same face.

Not a real trace,
a glimmer of
hope,

Just stuck
in this state
of decay,

A poor, mental
state.

Nobody listens,
no matter what
I'm told,

Everyone is in
it for themselves

They don't care
if I fall.

Is there a future left
for me?

Or will I spend
the rest of my life
losing it all?

thought that it
would get so much
better

but next year
showed up,

and i'm stuck
in the same place

floating down
the same river,

waiting for things
to change.

i'm stuck
with the same
thoughts,

same memories,
same feelings
and feeling

oh so lost.

i can't change
who i am,

i can't forget
the past

but i can try
to move on,

because we both
know i can't be

your favorite
song.

a final repeat
before love comes
undone

and i stop this
cassette and
finally

move on.