I continuously find the same questions
Fill up my mind like fish in the sea,
These fish symbolise the world I knew once
The one that created me.
And my troubles seem to circle me back here,
To the place I have grown to hate.
A place that serves no need now,
The redirection of my fate.
I can keep spluttering out words,
Meaningless, to us both.
But when I try to tell you the truth,
This agony fills my throat,
I'm searching for an explanation,
One, I know that you now yearn.
But I can't fake tears like these,
And that's something I've grown to learn.

He said:
“Hello there,
I didn't catch your name?”
He said:
His part
And then I did the same.
He said:
“I like you,
You're different than the rest.”
He said:
“I feel lucky!”
He thought that he was blessed.
He said:
“Be with me..
I swear it's where you belong.”
He said:
“I promise you,
I'm rarely ever wrong”
He said:
“I trust you,
You won't be making a mistake.”
He said:
“You know me,
I won't let your heart break.”
He said:
“I love you..
I could only love you less.”
He said:
“I'm sorry..
But there's something I must confess..”
He said:
“I'm leaving you,
But I hate that we should part.”
He never said:
He'd be the one,
Who would break my heart.

No words could ever explain
these feelings inside of me..

Know this: the rain does not only
fall upon you..

I think it's about time I told you this,
It's the same almost every night.
Even in my dreams, I know the feeling I get
When I see your face in sight.

The blueness of the oceans,
And even of the skies,
Could never compare to the beauty
Of that within your eyes.

Each time I find myself running.
But I'm never running toward.
This time, I've found, is different,
With you, I'm running forward.

There is never a destination,
I just seem to run the same mile,
Until I catch your eyes within the crowd
And I suddenly feel myself smile.

I concentrate on it's appearance.
I want to make it look real.
But the truth is that, inside of me,
Fear is all I feel.

Fear that I've been fooled again.
That you're just a mirage I can see.
That you're a home I've built up to keep me safe,
And you'll just crumble down softly.

I'm telling you this because I want you to know,
The feelings inside me are strong.
But despite my desire to be by your side,
I really feel like I don't belong.

It's like I've slipped off of a mountain top,
And my rope's scraping off the edge.
It's risky to pull myself back up,
As I'm held on by only a single thread.

I continue to run, but my mile's cut short,
As I awaken out of my dreams.
Somewhere inside I don't want to know,
What happens when I reach you, it seems.

I imagine I keep running toward you,
Until the moment I finally get near.
And I find that I was right all along,
As you just vanish into the thin air..

As I stood along the path,
I seen the little girl.
She had on a floral dress,
And her hair had flowing curls.

She stood still, all alone,
With a ribbon in her hand.
And above her was a balloon,
tied to it, with a band.

She had fallen away from the crowd,
Just to stand and breathe.
I watched her as she closed her eyes,
And positioned her two feet.

Her hand was held up-right,
To let the balloon dance,
In the wind that would take it further,
If it only got the chance.

After a moment in the silence,
The little girl opened her eyes.
As she done this, she loosened her grip,
And then sent the balloon to the skies.

I considered this symbolic,
And thought of you as my balloon.
Who had danced off with the wind,
And left me way too soon.

Somewhere, in the country,
silence fills the air.
The sun shines down above
the meagre crowd you'll find there.

I imagine you stand amongst them,
willingly taking part,
in searching for the person
you once knew off by heart.

Somewhere, in the city,
everyone else continues on.
The noise fills the air,
nothing's feeling wrong.

I imagine you in your window pane,
looking out across them all.
Asking yourself over and over,
why she won't answer your call.

Somewhere, in your heart,
the blood it rushes thin.
Although you feel it inside,
it doesn't show upon your skin.

I imagine you in the evening,
out strolling with a slow pace.
But, despite this, you can't breathe
with your quickening heart race.

Somewhere, in the oceans,
the currents continue to flow.
The skies turn to darkness,
and the stars begin to glow.

I imagine you in the distance,
giving up, and letting go.
Finally walking away,
from the girl you used to know.

You play a song so calm,
To slow down your heart pace.
You try to cover up,
The sadness on your face.
The news that you just heard,
Although you already knew,
Has beaten you real hard
And caused something to brew.
Inside you feel like fire,
Like a smoking, bubbly pit.
It knocks you off your feet,
And causes you to sit.
You cannot answer how,
Or even question why,
But the first chance that they got,
They simply just said goodbye.
You play the song so calm,
To bring back who you are,
And remember that they're gone.
They're gone so very far.
And they never truly cared,
They never thought of you.
But these are facts you know..
It's just a harsh thing that they're true.

You finally found the power,
to pull yourself back up.

Awakening, to yet another
day of sadness.
The bleak – now fading-
Winter,
that storms at your window,
is the only reason you sat up.
The only reason you awoke,
in the first place..

Yet, when you lay back on your pillow,
inside you don't believe
that was the only reason.

And you pull yourself back up.

I was happy in our love cloud;
Just to know someone was there.
He didn't need to love me, trust me or adore me,
He simply just needed to care.

His arms were like a blanket,
A cushion to lay my heavy heart.
He made up every little puzzle piece.
He completed me, from the very start.

Our cloud continued floating,
Ascending in a windward way.
Our love had grown much stronger,
Growing a little more with every day.

I could find no other like him.
I wished to live forever at his side.
I'd never thought about the future,
Or ever wished to be someone's bride.

With him it was so much different;
I became oblivious to his petty lies.
But after I covered all his fake smiles,
I began to see his evil eyes.

Our cloud had gained pollution,
With contaminants that could have caused a storm.
And once we drifted too far to return,
Our cloud had taken a different form.

The pain came down in droplets.
Not a single thought was even spared.
Our love had bursted to pieces,
Scattering all that we once shared.

Now I'm looking from this angle.
With the clouds gone, the stars can now shine.
And, despite how much I loved him,
I realise.. he was never mine.

I knew,
right then....

We
c o u l d  h a v e
had
e a c h  o t h e r

I met your eyes; twice open,
And once, I heard your voice.
I wish we could start over now
And make a better choice.
I often heard people mention
The bond they had with theirs.
All my life I kept saying,
I simply did not care.

The first day you had met me,
You didn't know my name.
I know that's the point of meetings,
But this was not the same.
You shook my hand like a stranger,
You'd rather never know.
And the naïve child within me,
Never wanted to let go.

The second day you came to talk,
And made my mother cry.
Trying to withdraw the past you left,
And return back to her side.
I tried then to forgive you, Gran,
But forgiveness is hard to give,
To a woman who never cared about
The lives she gave to live.
But I kept back my anger for
A woman worth so much more.
For she's much more stronger than,
The woman you came back for.

You broke her heart,
And broke her soul,
And walked away without tears.
I hoped you thought about the past:
The core of your child's fears.
But your mistakes could fill an endless list,
And sadden a jolly man.
But I forgave you, nonetheless,
Because you were my Gran.
You placed your hand in mine, right then,
And posed for the camera shot.
Your skin soft as flower petals,
A feeling I never forgot.

The third day I came to you,
It was time to say goodbye.
To see you, at peace, after all those years
Without you in our lives,
It was then my heart suddenly dropped,
And caused my eyes to cry.
The time was not ours to have
We never got the chance.
I cannot remember the way you looked,
For I only got a glance.
But I still remember your hand in mine,
Even after all those years.
And that feeling alone sets my heart in flames,
To conjure up the tears.
Your hand stays cold beneath mine since then,
Without heat, I cannot bring.
You withered away too early, Gran,
Like the flowers in mid-Spring.

Christmas is the time for heartbreaking Trócaire ads,
The time when decorations are put up by Dads.
Children are told stories of old.
Broken souls sit in the cold.
Big families arrange for big Christmas meals.
Dust cover young, chapped heels.
Santa and his reindeer fly across the sky.
When yet another hot season slowly passes by.

Christmas is a time when we all exchange gifts.
As just another angel lifts.
Choral chants assemble at front doors with sheets.
While the homeless continue to wander the streets.
The incandescence of lights fill our black,
When the darkest world still remains behind our back.
We receive the joys and the magic.
They only feel the tears and damage.

We have two worlds:
The First and the Third.

We live in the one with a Christmas..
But they live in the world that is still unheard.

I can be an anyone,
with opportunities at my door.
I remember you said I was no one,
but that was all before.

Since, I became a someone
with a thoughtful little brain,
with loved ones all around me,
who think I am insane!

I could be a failure,
who quickly gets the sack.
Or travel all around the world,
and leave you at my back.
You could become the shadow
when the sun shines on my face.
Or you could accept I am someone,
and share my inner grace.

See, it's 'cause you are the no one,
with no body at your side,
that you enforced you anger,
and seen how much I cried.

You know, you could be the person,
no one could love more.
But now, you are the only one,
I'd rather just ignore.

What pains me is our memories,
and the childhood that we had.
Somewhere, along the path we went,
it seems you just turned bad.

I tried to forget the time we spent,
but I guess it's just too late.
Because I know I could never love you again..
That love, turned into hate.

They never knew the meaning
to the words so common said.
They use their words in unison
and take pride in how they lead
you straight into a hallway,
with multiple open doors,
and carved a hole around you,
to let you seep into the floor.

They never thought you thought about
the world without you there.
To take a look around themselves,
and see one empty chair.
And once all of those doors slammed
right into your face,
they swallowed up that pride they had,
and restored your inner grace.

They never believed there was
one more,
who felt the same, exact.
It never struck them how she was,
too mildly, could she act.
To notice the pain she hid so deep,
she thought you'd make no stir.
Talking meant so little then,
but it did so much for her.

Yeats said romance was gone and dead,
Back in the day when most tears were shed.
Times when the IRA were up and strong,
Days when they could be seen doing wrong.
Not right now, when its just biased times;
The next Love/Hate enlightening their "newest" crimes.
Our time does differ from the old.
And if Yeats could talk right now, a different story would be told.

We're due a time when they all come home
Cross the shores and along they come.
Times when they are safe to stay,
Unlike the war years when they were forced away.
The times when Yeats said our heroes did us good.
Now, no novelty, no heroes: villains. Although, there should.
President Higgins, the 9th to stand.
Who speaks of "our own Aisling" in this shared land.
Our time does differ from the old.
And if Yeats could talk right now, a different story would be told.

A hundred years, we're still the same.
When the "recession" is so easy to blame.
A choice that Sinn Fein never got to make,
Lead by Kenny, the government's mistake.
Choices made, nor law but religion.
Medical misadventures under moral obligation.
A jury given a choice of two verdicts: one story,
Savita's death, goes down in history.
Our time does differ from the old.
And if Yeats could talk right now, a different story would be told.

Our time when networks send youths to their grave,
An earlier landing caused by how others behaved.
Still mothers shed tears upon the pit of their sons,
Ashes to ashes, a new war has begun.
But, a type that is different in a virtual way,
For the past is the past and today is today.
That's how our times differ to those of 1913
And if Yeats were here right now, what real difference would be seen?

Absent are the people
I truly believed were there.
Absent is my sympathy,
To truly love and care.
Absent is the one,
Whom directly I talk to.
Absent is the name,
I rather just call 'you.'
Absent is your presence
In a friendship that you played a part.
Absent is the love
You claim is within your heart.
Absent are the words,
I long to let pour off of my tongue.
Absent is our future,
Though, we are still young.
Absent are the reasons
For all of the swift ends.
Absent are the people,
I once had called my friends.
Absent are my thoughts,
That figures this all out.
Absent is my voice,
To whisper, talk or shout.
Absent is my courage,
To tell you about my pain.
Absent are the benefits
I would ever wish to gain.
Absent is the trust,
In whom I grew to know.
Absent is your reluctancy,
That wanted me to go.
Absent are the smiles,
That once sat upon my face.
Absent are my memories,
Of the times you showed no grace.
Absent is the understanding,
I hope we'll come to, yet.
Absent are the days
I never want to forget.
Absent is the truth,
That solves all of this mess.
Absent are my mistakes,
You could forgive no less.
Absent is the happiness,
I once felt deep inside.
Absent is you,
Right here by my side.
Absent is the person,
I could never quite love more.
Absent is his existence,
For he's not who he was before.
Absent is my knowledge,
To explain all in one poem..
Absent is my ability
To climb right up to Heaven,
And bring you safely home..

I tried to think of the words that would best describe that game,
I sat and wondered why Arturs had not felt the same.
Then, I questioned if his “opinion” was simply just an act,
Because the game was awfully dreadful, and that's a matter of fact!

Too big to call it yours,
Too small to compete.
Not the wisdom from your mouth,
Or the knowledge in your feet.
Never yours nor never mine.
Ours, together.

The stones that had sat, old.
The water's depth surround.
It wasn't fame that we did need,
Just organics on the ground.
See, we are all the one,
A family, you might say.
Sheltered from the sun,
but skies are never grey.

The Shelly Place is ours,
Perhaps, we are the shells.
Perhaps, we are not.
Time could only tell.
Home to the big glass house,
And the massive fish.
A location for a prayer,
Or to make a wish.

It is home.

The time went by too quickly,
And we're all grown up now.
Our lives have become different:
But, at least, we know more how's.
How to distinguish right from wrong;
And venture through life's song,
In a bigger world than the one between
All of our old walls.

As the clouds roll past on the table,
And the words don't spill from my head.
I remember all the days we spent together
And every single word you ever said.
I wonder at times, do you think of me?
And our childhood as it's gone?
To whisper softly in nostalgia,
And, then, continue to go on.

I hope you know you're a piece of me
More than just in my mind..
You make up most of my memories,
Each one that I seem to find:
As I sit here thinking about a theme,
Or a topic, for my poem,
My mind wanders to a place,
I'll forever know as home.

I make the choice to start the plane;
I mount my seat and turn the key.
I join the force in the rain:
To meet a certain destiny.
I know them not, those other men,
Nor enemy, nor ally do I fight.
If I could live it all again
I'd steer away from this final "delight."
I'd banish these thoughts that pois my mind,
And discourage the little man inside.
Too rash I was to leave it all behind,
And venture off to the clouds to hide.
Distant are Kiltartan's men, at noon.
Heartbroken; Margaret and the three;
She may receive the dreaded telegram soon;
Because mine the falling aeroplane shall be.
Through the glass, I can see them ones,
Those times of pain, and those of smiles.
Tears jam in my throat like stones,
As I continue my journey on for miles.
It's clear you question my choice to die,
Needlessly, you assume, within your poem.
But, you see, I just love being in the sky..
It feels a little more like home.

If the days fly past too quickly,
And your heart just shuts it's doors.
You forget the first glimpse you took,
And you look away once more.
Will you still know what I look like?
Will my name still make you smile?
Will everything else be more important,
To only visit me once in every while?
Would you forget all of our conversations,
The ones no one else knows about?
We'll be “Mad Now, Mad 4Ever”
And, ominously, all the elephants will be wiped out!
Do you know how many times, you crawl right into my dreams?
To catch your green-eyed beauty was enough to fall in love, it seems.
You keep on coming back, like a tower in the sky,
You sit your chin upon my head as moments slowly go by.
I know you're mumbling softly, but I do not catch a word.
With my ear pressed to your body, your heartbeat's all I heard.
I continue to share that moment with your presence in my thoughts
Your hands clasped together; around me, is the only image that I caught.
I love how you call me your lady, and I call you m'dear.
And how you wrap your arms around me, as we walk, to keep me near.
I hate how I always wonder if this time you're actually gone.
Or how I simply come to believe I'm somewhere going wrong.
When I seen your face the last day, how lit-up it had got
To meet my face in a crowded place, and ground me to my spot.
There's only this one moment that draws my breath in slow:
We're on opposite sides of the street, both watching each other go.
Your smile is fading out, your figure growing small.
But in all of my memories, I feel, you never walk away at all.
So, just in case you forget m'dear
That the love in my heart is all yours.
I want you to know I'll keep it there,
'till the day you open your heart's doors

I just want the monsters to go back to where they came.
Go away from my bedside, and forget about my name.

I don't want to be haunted, each night when I try to sleep,
Or even become so afraid, that I suddenly begin to weep.

I hate it when it gets dark, and the monsters prowl around,
And my body freezes in the heat, while I hear creaks on the ground.

I fear their capabilities, and all that is unknown.
But, most of all, I hate the way, they're still here, though I've grown.

I try to tell them to go away, quite loud I do shout!
But despite all the chances they get, they simply won't get out..

This is the last thing I'll let you know,
Before I say goodbye,
Before I let you go..

I forgot the reasons that brought on this end.
Wiped back the tears that I let fall.
Changed your title as my friend.
Unraveled your lies and figured it all.

I found the answers to the questions I had.
Spent all of my time trying to know you true.
It seems I, somehow, banished your bad.
I guess, it was because, I really did love you.

Now all I want, is for you to know,
Why I'm saying goodbye,
And why I'm letting you go..

I see your face through every crowd,
And within the moments you're not even there.
The silence became extremely loud.
It seems, I lost myself somewhere.

The knots in my stomach became undone.
As you continued to walk, in my mind, you grew small.
My journey backwards suddenly begun,
And I swiftly remembered it all.

The moment you had first taken hold of my hand.
Posed for a photograph with that crooked smile.
Times when, together, we would stand.
Or walk, if not even, for a single mile.

So this, my dear, I hope you know
I've said goodbye,
But I can't let you go.

I took back every single word I had ever said.
Tore out the chapters from the story of us.
Broke everything in sight, if only within my head.
Woke up one morning, and boarded that bus.

The glimmer in my eyes dimmed down slow.
I recanted the first smile that welcomed you that day.
Collected up the pieces of my heart, and decided to go.
I gave you one more look, and then turned the opposite way.

Once we were passing strangers
With no knowledge of each others names.
And there had not yet been the memories,
Or the photos in the frames.

We had never said the words,
Or greeted as we passed.
Or agreed on a certain relationship.
No atmosphere had been cast.

We had not worried about tomorrow,
Or if we'd see each other soon.
We had never thought about a future, together,
Or promised each other the moon.

We had our own paths to walk on,
And our own futures to live for.
But then one day our paths crossed,
And we felt loneliness, no more.

I often believed it metaphorical,
When I witnessed people part.
How it seemed they were leaving forever,
Separating at the heart.

I thought of the directionality,
The opposite ways they would go.
And I felt a little melancholy,
For the things they'd never know.

That same belief remains within me,
I still fear those metaphoric ends.
Now though, with you, I realise,
We'll always part as friends.