I woke up 35 today.
Thought it wouldn't feel
Any different from 34, but
This time...

I'll buy an extra few flowers
For my mother.
It's her day too.

I'll buy my dad a cigar and a
Cold one.
For all the gray hairs.

I'll thank my brother for
Being
Just that
For 33 years,

And my girlfriend for not
Minding what we
Both think
Might be the earliest whiffs
Of an 'old-man-smell'
On me.

It's the first rainy day in weeks.
I'll have a
Few beers too many tonight,
And just stand in the downpour.
I'm an adult now; I don't
Have to wear a raincoat.

It's my party and I'll
Laugh hysterically

If I want to.

He had this way about him
His smile radiated
He smiled like he knew every single thing about you
And he did
He laughed like he'd never been hurt
Yet he confided in you about all the times he had
His light brown curly hair swooped
Just above his perfectly shaped eyebrows
His hazel eyes looking deep into mine
With all the love in the world

I giggled my way out of every bad memory.

I pretended nothing hurt.


Until it didn't.

Your body is a language I would like to be fluent in.

I am still not sure about how I forgot to speak to you.
Three years ago I would have said your beauty
left me breathless, filling my stomach with
butterflies that ate my words.
But today those butterflies have turned to demons
and I am no longer breathless but suffocating.

I wish I could stay sober but you are an open bottle
and my lips crave your skin.