I need help.
I am falling on broken glass.
I am collapsing on myself.
I am shards of glass.
I am killing myself.

Though somehow,
I continue to hold on
for dear life.

I was a threat to your happiness,
always have been.
But now, my mistakes have
caught up with me.
What's wrong with you?
How can you do this to me?
you cried.
I choked.
You deserved a reason.
You deserved a million apologies.
But all I could say was,
Please don't leave me.
Please don't go.
You walked away for the last time.
I felt dark
and grey
and dead,
barely breathing.

If we'd lived like normal people-
All of this could have been avoided.
But we didn't.
We were nuts and desperate.
We couldn't help but create this
nothingness that drove us completely crazy,
sad,
empty.
Still, no one's desperation came close
to matching mine.
They all seemed to be able to go back to their lives.
They got scuffed up and they got on with it,
Only I seemed to be left behind,
crying and screaming,
wanting some satisfaction,
wanting to feel something.
I always sought solace in places
where I know, absolutely,
that it did not exist.

Is this what insanity feels like?

He realized
the fear of losing her,
based on
constant insecurity
terrified him.
Don't ever fall in love, my dear.

The moment you left,
oceans refused to stay still
with violent tides.
I begged you to come back
but trees screamed at me
with outraged sways.
I begged you to recall the good times
but instead grounds quaked
when I said your name.

Was I such a disastrous soul?
I know I stumbled a few times,
but must you destroy the whole world
to run from my faults?

Because now,
I am alone.
The waters only quiver.
The leaves barely tremble.
You broke the world because
the Earth stands still without
our deafening
existence.

Stitch these miles
together until
your skin
sends goosebumps
down my spine.
Whisper promises
of never
leaving me
into my neck.
I want to feel the
false comfort
that your hands
hold.
Tell me all about
the places we'll go
as you walk
out the door.
Tell me you love me
as you rip out
the stitches
that hold
together
my last hope for
happiness.

Yelling,
Screaming,
Crying.
I'm begging you,
"Please stop fighting."
Your glare tells me
that you'll hit me too
if I don't walk away,
but I can't take this anymore-
not one more day.

I've never fought back before,
so this was a first.
I tried to get mom out,
before you
hit me first.

One,
Two,
Three hits,
that's when I fell.
But I wouldn't back down,
and you started to tell.

Fists flew for a minute
or so,
That's when mom came back,
with a big blow-
to the head.
You were finally down.

We were finally free.
Well Dad,
I hope I don't see you around.

Do your dreams
ever wander to the first time
our hands
brushed against each other?
Maybe they stroll to the
moment your heart
sighed in relief as
I kissed back?
My dreams do not wander to
these lovely memories.
My dreams are these memories.
I worry that I am not worth
your dreams anymore.
Kissing you has no passion these days.
You stiffen
when I reach for your hand.
Is this the end of our love story?
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough
for you.
I'm sorry I was never good enough.
I'm sorry.

Wasted
my life
to stay
wasted.