She says she's fine
But she's going insane.

She says she feels good
But she's in a lot of pain.

She says it's nothing
But it's really a lot.

She says she's okay
But she's really not.

There are nights,
When you cant seem to sleep.
And at this time,
Nothing, nobody, not a peep,
Occupies the streets.

The street light,
Highlights this emptiness.
Your thoughts,
Embrace this moment.
This night.

These dark corners,
And dim boardwalks,
They all remind you of the contrast in your life.
The things that you have, things you see.
And the things that are lost, things you wish would be.

Like the girl,
Whom you remember from high school,
Or the friends that fled to secure jobs.
You will remember,
You will squint trying to remember her face,
Her name,
Her laugh.

There are nights,
Nights that are full of wishing,
Dark nights.
This night.

I always feel sentimental when it rains,
So, on sad days like this I leave the house without an umbrella.

With my headphones in,
listening to our favourite songs,
I walk past your old house.
Or the cheap restaurant we always went to.
Just so I can let my heart feel close to you again.
I must be so pathetic.

but when the rain stops
You will exist only as another memory.
So, I embrace the droplets on my skin,
Even if I do catch a cold.

On sad days like this I cannot help but wonder
if it’s raining where you are,
if you think of me.

So, until the next time it rains, we walk our own paths.

Red ink all smothered at the bay of my palms ,
Need a quill to collect and stop the bleeding crust
Small rusty hands and yet like water gaging in
Blank spaces , open minds and blank faces seeping in
Help me move while the clock says
Tick tock
Fly to the stars like an airplane
Time stops
As the dead star passes
Another lights up
Help me choose
Before I give up

Scars are our tools
           to remember lessons.
Never let a cut repeat
           as it'll only cut deeper.

Even if I don’t acknowledge it,
It’s always there,
Waiting…
The need burns within,
My demons are screaming for me it
My mind is craving it.
The feel of a blade on my skin
The sting of cutting myself open,
The rush I feel when I see the ruby red blood
I NEED to feel all these things
Even if I don’t know I need it,
They keep telling me.
Cut.
They chant.
Spill your blood,
You deserve it for not being enough,
I’ve become addicted to the feeling
The feeling of something other than
Self-hated
Anger or
Sadness
I could finally feel somethings else,
Pain.
I could physically feel my demons dripping out of me
I could feel the relief of my emotions
I could feel free,
Even if it's just for a moment,
It helps
Cutting helps me accomplish this
I am always weighed down by my problems,
I’ve finally found a way to…
Just let go for a moment

My tears stream
Down my face
As I think
Of how easily I can be replaced

My hands are trembling
Holding the blade
Is this worth
All of the scars I’ve made?

Then I remember
The people who taument me
Like Im emotionless
Just rid me of my glee

Every word you yelled
Every shove in the halls
Until Im crying
In the bathroom stalls

No one notices
They never will
All the pain you’ve caused
That I can’t ****

Then they wonder
Why Im dead on the ground
With my knife in my hand
And a note with blood all around

They are confused
Wondering why
Then they will all forget
And turn a blind eye

I’m all forgotten
Just like I new I would be