no, I'm not talking about the ones with big noses
or greasy hair

not the ones with bad breath
or round bellies

no, I just like them raw
a little broken, a little sad

the ones with scars
a story to tell

I sure know how to pick em' you might say
but I'd never give them up any day

a whole adventure in a person like the outdoors
one with canyons and mountains he would let me explore
only ugly guys give themselves all at once
no parts hidden, everything is exposed

vulnerability is thought to be a weakness but in reality it's bold

I like ugly guys.

2 am is for the poets who
can't sleep because their
minds are alive with words
for someone who's not there.

For the alcoholics drinking
themselves into amnesia to
forget someone who left.

2 am is not for the lovers
asleep in each other's arms.

It is for the lonely, the ones
who are inlove with the
loved but are not loved in
return.

more often misunderstood than not
i dance in spectrums of gray
where right and wrong is blurred
and faded edges
complicates this maze

i get lost in my own mind
blissfully wandering off
fixating about trivial things
staring at the moon for hours
waiting for it to answer me

perhaps im too different
beautifully broken yet starry eyed
quiet demeanor with a chaotic mind
and you, unfortunately,
are too the same

oneday i will find the soul
that finds peace in all of me
and we will wonder
and wander
together

I'm still afraid of letting go.
Letting go of the bed
I only know how to sleep in
with the AC roaring.

Afraid of what my life will look like
without the seductive smoke
and twist off bottle caps.

I'm just as afraid of walking out the back door,
keeping me inside,
holding me together.
Afraid of the weather
my body has not yet adjusted to.

There's no harmony in heat and some days I think I'll never stop sweating.

his heart was cold,
yet his soul
set mine ablaze

I thought every word that you spit from your unclean lips would make me shine
I thought they’d make daisies bloom from tragedy over time
And create a masterpiece that no one had ever seen before
Something truly sublime
But instead your words proved that every doubt of mine was surely not wrong
That the time you had with me was far too long
That the time it took to love myself again was far too long
Because of your actions
And because of my silly heart
I agreed to run along
To be strung along and torn apart
The bed I made
Where I laid my head on your legs instead of your head on mine
The blanket that split our light unevenly
As well as define the line
Line
Lines leading up to what your words defined
"*****"
But no
Wait
You didn’t mean it like that
What did you mean if you didn’t mean it like that?
What else could you have meant?
After all the time we had spent
The traces of your scent left me itching
Creating dents in my once porcelain skin
Twisting our reality
And twisting your words
And molding my thoughts into birds
So that they could fly far away
From your solid ways of pulling me back in like you were gravity
My paper weight
Holding me down while holding me back from opportunity
Becoming the grounded gate that surrounded
And swallowed me whole in the end
You are no longer the black hole
That I try to comprehend
I no longer defend you while you condescend me
Like you are the sky above the sea
Thank you for showing me that I'm strong enough
To rise above and be free
Let my battle leave mementos in your mind
To remind you of the time you tried to defeat me
But failed miserably

|s.s|

i wish i had told you that i hate caper
or about that summer when i was 10
and stayed hours over the sun
trying to do a tattoo with lemon juice
or that i had spent hours telling you
all of the memories i have from my mom
and about the day my brother died

you know so much about me
but i wish you knew me better

maybe you would have stayed longer
maybe not

who knows