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Jasmine Marie Feb 2016
The greedy little ladybugs
eagerly waited to mourn me,

dying
to don their black spots as veils
meant to cover the raw redness of their bloodlust.

Dying...

and hoping that I would return the favor.
Nov 2015 · 478
Chugga Chugga Boo Hoo
Jasmine Marie Nov 2015
I woke up on the right side of the tracks today

...but I still might get hit by a train.
Jasmine Marie Sep 2015
I can't write poems
because they won't give me a pen

because they're afraid that I'll **** myself with it.

But what they don't know
is that I'm not the perfect Venn diagram
between suicidalness
and patience,

that I'm not creative enough
or desperate enough

to use a ballpoint
or a fountain
or a quill

to hang myself
or poison myself
or slit my wrists.

And because they won't give me a pen,
I can't write poems
to
    save
            my
                  own
                         *life.
Sep 2015 · 488
Back Seat Driving
Jasmine Marie Sep 2015
She kept laughing
even though it wasn’t funny,

shrinking in the presence
of two men sent to interrogate her
about her purity,

the red brand hidden under her tongue
that she tried to hide under nervous giggles,
tried to mask with inappropriate joviality.

She tried to desperately communicate what had made her
choose the wrong side of the road
between laughter and sobbing.

She tried
and failed
to make them understand
what had made them think of her as a hysterical and trivial woman,
the stereotypical horrible driver,
unable to stay in her emotional lane.
Sep 2015 · 638
White Picket Fences
Jasmine Marie Sep 2015
I was a little black girl
growing up in the land of white picket fences,
lacking my own,
but fenced in by those who had them.

If I was ever to make it over those barriers,
I’d have to let go of a few things.

So I disowned my ***** hair,
and refused to listen to Chris Brown
or eat watermelon or fried chicken in public.

But I was still weighed down by my consciousness of being the “other”,
the outsider trapped on the inside,
the oil slick in the ocean
still not buoyant enough to stay afloat.

And in all of my futile attempts to surpass them,
I just ended up impaling myself
on those white picket fences.
Jasmine Marie Sep 2015
You could be my Jericho,

and I,

your blasphemous lover.
Jasmine Marie Sep 2015
you remind me a lot of your brother.
same delicate temperament,

but i could break through your walls with a twitch of my garish fingers.

you could be my Jericho
and i could be your blasphemous lover.
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
The only thing keeping me from you
is this pockmarked suburban Tupperware
and my Thumbelina complex.
Jul 2015 · 597
I Think It's Beautiful.
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
My favorite birthmark
is a brown dot near the center of my left eye
that makes my iris look like a leaky egg yolk suspended in time:
the mark of a girl
destined to never quite color inside the lines.
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
I'm worried
that absence doesn't make my heart grow fonder;
it just makes it grow apathetic,
a pathetic heart
lost on the plane of a broken,
spinning
compass.
Jul 2015 · 810
XXX Marks the Spot
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
Lately I've been trying to access the vaults of my self,
but it turns out that in a nostalgic fit,
I recorded all the crucial parts on VHS.
And the ones whose film hasn't been warped by my pyromaniac brain
have been taped over with grainy footage of my latest sexcapades,
filmed with the lens cap closed over the best parts.
Jul 2015 · 525
Could I Please Be Excused?
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
This is the most emotionally present
that I've been in a long time.
And now that roll has been called,
I'd like to go ahead and strike my name off of the roster.
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
It's way too soon
to write you a love poem,
but I think I may be in the socially acceptable time frame
to write you a like poem.

Yesterday, my doctor told me to cut cheese out of my diet,
so I'll try to keep the sentiment as vegan as possible.
To my nematode.
Jul 2015 · 2.2k
Make that *ex-boyfriend
Jasmine Marie Jul 2015
Why doesn't my boyfriend want to hold my hand anymore?
It's always been clammy and frigid,
though I suppose it has gained this new
rigidness.

And no one wants to feel responsible
for a dead weight abandoned
in the palm of his hand.

And because it's my lifeless hand,
severed with all the fixings,
rabid and unruly,
nipping at the palm that smothered the life out of it,

Because of this,

he can't even pass it off
as a gag paperweight for Bill at the office.
Jun 2015 · 245
Shucks, Man.
Jasmine Marie Jun 2015
My hollow regret fluttered to the ground,
bound by gravity
to fall as swiftly and ignorantly as my gaze.
Jasmine Marie Jun 2015
When I fell back into the cramped nook of your shelf,
you didn't even acknowledge me amidst the other knickers and gnats vying for your attention.
You overlooked the viscous hatred glazing my bronze porcelain.

And after you spit-shined me in an attempt to erase the set-in stain
that so starkly contrasted all of the work that you had put into the cocoa complexion nurtured in the heated vacuum of your built-in incubator,
you showed me off to your friends,

your little nesting doll that had shrunk down to its true form,
so cute and abridged that you could fit its summation in your pocket,
doomed to eternally room with your dusty love shields and dingy photocopies of past mistakes.
May 2015 · 885
Sex.
Jasmine Marie May 2015
*** is like a Band-Aid
and I'm just an emotional tomboy
looking for someone to kiss her wounds better.
Jasmine Marie May 2015
She was quivering like a full saucer awaiting his approach,
each step resonating inside of her gelatinous bones,
breath held at the starting line of her lips.

Three
Two
One

He called the shot
and she slit her wrists to let him in.
Jasmine Marie May 2015
You're the silent promise held
in fingertips lazily murmuring to my naked skin
while they cross theselves behind my back.
Jasmine Marie Apr 2015
You told me that I was only eighteen
and I had the rest of my life to love other people,

And you told me that you weren't good enough for me anyway,

And that it isn't even worth trying long distance because some girl you met online broke your heart in middle school,

And you told me that you'd still love me,
only in a different way,

And you compared me to your ex-something-or-other and a cloying cookie,

And I kissed your neck as you were leaving
and you rubbed the lipstick back on my dress.
Jasmine Marie Apr 2015
I told you not to turn your back on my flames
just because you were done toasting yourself
on the heated whispers of my kindling.

If you had been keeping watch,
you would've seen me thumb a ride from the wind that carried my embers to him.

And I would've seen myself reflected in your eyes
as I burned you both alive with my indifference.
Apr 2015 · 808
Eggs, Eggs, Eggs, Eggs.
Jasmine Marie Apr 2015
If I were you,
before I celebrated over the spoils of your conquest of me,
I'd check the expiration date on all of those eggs you just put in your basket.
Jasmine Marie Apr 2015
You caught me by the shoelace
and tethered me to your side
but I was born to float away
and be destroyed by the sun.
Mar 2015 · 294
Gardening.
Jasmine Marie Mar 2015
They say that you're too inept,
too immature,
too young to know better.

Don't listen to them;
you're exactly the shade of green that I was looking for.
Mar 2015 · 321
Tip Me Over and Pour Me Out
Jasmine Marie Mar 2015
I'm the crumpled soda can you used to kick around when you were a kid;

I'm the shot glass you emptied into the pit of your teen angst;

I'm the wine bottle that's going to shatter over your skull and **** us both.
Mar 2015 · 377
home.
Jasmine Marie Mar 2015
there were soggy, downtrodden cigarette butts
on the stairs leading to her apartment
where fresh ashes smoldered--
the remnants of her newly-cremated self.
Mar 2015 · 411
Tastes like Teen Spirit
Jasmine Marie Mar 2015
No one told me that the taste of defeat
isn't bitter
or sour
or acidic,
but embarrassingly cloying.
Feb 2015 · 320
Impulses
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
The water was murky
with ashen clouds
and my thoughts were overcast
with fears of nakedness.
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
Once when I was at an age at which I was
embarrassingly old enough to have known better,
I feigned "coolness"
by taking drags out of the end of my pen
like it was one of those foreign, long, skinny black cigarettes
that was all the rage in some exotic country like Italy.

But I ****** too hard,
and instead of sampling a taste of ink-flavored air,
I dove headfirst into the real thing--

which is to say,
that I tried not to laugh for the next few days
lest anyone catch a glimpse of my ink-stained tongue
and think that my love for calamari
was anything other than platonic.
Feb 2015 · 293
Memory
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
One of the worst things
about having a memory prone to taking sporadic lunch breaks
is stumbling onto a bundle of inexplicable sadness
with no forwarding address.

What's even worse
is misplacing the envelope of joy
that you specifically postmarked to be shipped to yourself on a rainy day.
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
If I'm an exotic butterfly desperate to be discovered,
You're an entomologist bored with his profession.
Feb 2015 · 990
Adulthood
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
I've been an adult for a little over a month now
and the most "grown-up" thing I've done so far
is legally wear an adult onesie.
Feb 2015 · 392
Ahem.
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
I'd like to work up the courage to ask you
if it is a cultural thing
to dress like a plushy carrot
that I'd like to passionately julienne
and sprinkle on my bed sheets.
Feb 2015 · 597
Lipstick Stain
Jasmine Marie Feb 2015
I wanted so badly to fall in love with you,
but then I remembered the last time that I fell in love with
the lipstick stain gracing the edge of an empty bottle of Advil,
and I caught myself just in time.
Jan 2015 · 576
Bodysitting
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
Sometimes I forget that I'm the owner of my body
and I'm not just housesitting until the person whose home it really is gets back from vacation.

Thankfully whoever lives here always leaves me a roster that includes a list of the people in her life
so I don't embarrass her with my social ignorance.

Yesterday, she left me with the person she had labeled as "boyfriend" in her reference contact list.
And even though I didn't recognize him as mine,
when I stole glances for intel purposes,
I felt this surge of emotion
like she had left the electricity running in the room she dedicated to him.
Jan 2015 · 655
Circle Circle Dot Dot
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
I'm hesitant to tell you that I love you,
because the last time I left my heart on someone's doorstep,
she left it out in the rain.

So pardon me for finally nursing it from its two year bout of pneumonia.

Because even though there are shots that prevent cooties,
I'm sorry to say that modern medicine has yet to find the cure for heartbreak.
Jan 2015 · 1.7k
Parental Roles
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
If fathers teach their sons the art of shaving,
shouldn't mothers teach their daughters the intricacy of doing and undoing bras?

Unfortunately, this world isn't a utopia for gender role demos,
so I'd appreciate it if you didn't laugh at me
while I fumble to get you *******.
Jan 2015 · 316
Warranty Void
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
I wish that I had gotten an extended warranty on my body.

Who will I turn to now
when it falls apart at the seams?

Maybe if I hadn't tossed out the how-to manual...

...though I have a sneaking suspicion that it was blank,
and wasn't worth the paper it wasn't printed on, anyway.
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
I feel like my entire life has been about falling
(falling in love, falling to pieces, falling down stairs, etc.).

When you're teetering on something precarious, like air,
people tell you not to look down,
not to open your eyes.

But I've gone a step beyond just shutting my eyes.
I keep my hands fastened over them,
as an extra layer of protection,
because I'm afraid if my contrary nature gets the best of me
and the screws holding my hands in place loosen,
I'll give in and take a peek,
peering up instead of down,

But I won't see a suspect looming over the edge of the cliff that last saw me grounded.
And the only culprit for my plunge...
...will be me.
Jan 2015 · 1.2k
A Love Story Haiku
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
I asked, "Should I shave?"
You said that you didn't care.
I said, "I love you."
Jan 2015 · 3.5k
Skydiving
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
When you're falling,
the wind is like an accomplice
that will tell onlookers that you're only crying
because it's battering your eyes.
Whenever I get stressed, I get a ridiculous urge to go skydiving.
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
They say that it's in the journey
and not the destination,

but what's the difference
between gliding
or plummeting

when the end goal is the pavement just the same?
Jan 2015 · 285
Heart for Sale
Jasmine Marie Jan 2015
I think I'd like to pick pocket your heart,
though the jury's still out on whether or not I'm keeping the contents.

Because I'm only reaching in there to confirm that your feelings are still home,
that somewhere in that torso of yours, your heart serves as more than a ****** conduit.

But before I could even brush against you to distract you,
I saw the "For Rent" sign stapled to your chest.
And when I knocked on your rib cage to place an inquiry,
I saw the fine print that read:
"Tourniquet Not Included".

But didn't anyone tell you that if you dam up your emotions,
they'll leak out and poison your brain?
That's why they say love makes you do crazy things,
and I don't know if I can stick around until you're certifiable.
Dec 2014 · 272
A Haiku
Jasmine Marie Dec 2014
I'm afraid I'm your
origami imitant,
your paper tiger.
Dec 2014 · 2.5k
Manic Pixie Dream Girl
Jasmine Marie Dec 2014
Last weekend,
one of your friends called me your manic pixie dream girl.

So in the movie that is my life,
I'm not even the main character,
just the quirky sidekick to my male protagonist.

And it's probably my ego speaking,
but I don't think that's right.

And I don't think that I,
of all people,
should be the one  showing you the beauty of a world
that I only see in kinetic blurs and swatches,
passing by me in my free fall from this life to the next.

Because I tried once to see the world without a filter,
but its stagnancy sent me in a downward spiral
and somehow I ****** you into it--
into me.

And I don't mean to be your whirlwind woman,
destined to spit you out--disoriented--
somewhere that you've never been before,
somewhere that no map ever cared to acknowledge,
somewhere stained with my essence,
my idiosyncrasies,
and your new found head trauma.

And you're a rational guy
and I'm an on again off again rational girl
who needs a little help stilling the edges of her narrative,
who longs for a tether or a buoy
to keep her from flying off or sinking down.

So maybe if you held my shoulders to stop me from spinning,
my vision would sober up,
and I'd focus solely on your curves and your angles
as they entered my retinas,
while the rest of the world behind you
faded into blurry suggestions
to be adhered to by someone who gave a **** about them

And after you wiped the puke from your shoes,
maybe you'd see me focused in your eyes
and maybe, just maybe...

...you'd just call me your dream girl.
I asked you if it would be okay if I started writing you sappy poetry (and I'm not even sure if this counts), and you said yes, but clearly neither of us knew what we were getting ourselves into.
Side note to those who don't know what a manic pixie dream girl is: she's "that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures."
Nov 2014 · 420
In Your Arms
Jasmine Marie Nov 2014
I didn't think that I was comfortable enough to fall asleep in your arms,

to snore in your arms,

to drool in your arms,

to babble incoherently in your arms.

So I dreamt that I was lying awake while you slept,
enveloping me in those gangly things sewn into your shoulders.

But when I woke up,

you were gone.

And I thank you...

...for having the courtesy to get up to ***
instead of doing it in my arms.
I kinda miss writing poetry. Here's to me getting less cliched.
Jun 2013 · 894
i'm probably a bad friend.
Jasmine Marie Jun 2013
a couple of days ago,
i had a dream that i was mad at my friend,
and so i tried to frame her
by hiring someone to shoot me in the chest
and put a tardis in the wound
because she's a doctor who fan.
Jun 2013 · 1.1k
hm.
Jasmine Marie Jun 2013
hm.
i've realized that my poetry is far too bombastic
as if all of the big words will distract everyone
from the fact
that i have nothing to say.
Jasmine Marie May 2013
(I think I've lost the ability to start things, so please forgive this poem for not having an attention grabbing genesis)
I've been twiddling my thumbs for almost eight months now
Putting off all that I care about
(And especially everything that I don't. Here's lookin' at you, AP World History)
Sitting around amassing a booklet of words to use in the future for novels and whatnot
But only using them in essays so I seem smarter than I am
(For example, susurrus means 'a whispering or rustling sound; a murmur')
Hoarding anything affiliated with Ben Folds because he makes me feel things on occasion
(I currently have 189 songs of his on my iTunes library; No one understands me.)
Making **** jokes at lunch while masking the thoughts of substance ricocheting around in my head
(Also your mom jokes because no one would think that you're crying internally about the uncertainty of the afterlife whilst making lewd stabs at their mother's integrity(and ******. Ba dum tss.))
Apparently craving the lingering feel of another's touch
(I had a dream a few weeks back that Ben Folds licked my hand; My stomach folded (hahahah, folded) in on itself.)
Thinking that my feelings of misanthropy and apathy and everything else I can't find the words for yet are mine alone because everyone else is too stupid to have thought them themselves
(Even though I know that I'm not particularly special and I should stop being so elitist and stupid)

But I've finally found a light at the end of the table in the last place I'd expect--
(I meant to say tunnel, but hey, the source of said light does sit at my lunch table.)
A cherubic Presbyterian boy with an aversion to all things perverse,
(Which includes my sailor's tongue and occasional tendencies to want to put it on a member of my own ***, though he doesn't know about that)
A spec of cleanliness on the grimy waistcoat of humanity who makes me want to be the best I can be
(Today when I saw him, I only swore once; I was very proud of myself)
But maybe I'm just jumping the gun
Because what would a good Christian boy want with a heathen like me who isn't even sure she believes in God?
Maybe his prolonged contingencies were merely contingent and I'm just overreacting because of my few and far between incidences of human contact.
(Seriously. Don't touch me.)
Maybe I just want someone to talk to for hours about everything and nothing at all.
(What with me being relatively antisocial, it's hard to find people with similar mindsets.)
Maybe I just want someone to funnel my adolescent attention into
(Because teen movies have taught me that one obviously can't be happy without having a crush on someone at any given time.)
Or maybe it's just because the way the Bible quote on the back of his t-shirt conflicted so humorously with the way he shook his hips to a J-Lo song on "Just Dance."
(Seriously, though, it was hilarious. I was dying.)
Or the way our fingers brushed when we were catching frogs
Or the way he blushed when I stepped out in my bikini
(I went to a pool party today.)
Or the way he held me momentarily in the delirious confusion of the flashing strobe lights
Or the way he got one point higher on his research paper than me a month ago
(He was excited; I was upset.)
Or the way that he does everything nearly to perfection.
I could go on..
But I don't know.
Maybe I'll get over him in a week and slip back into myself.
Because, like I said, what would a good Christian boy want with a heathen like me?
I don't think that I'm particularly good at formal, or informal for that matter, poetry, so I thought I might try a more comfortable format.
Apr 2013 · 1.3k
To-Do List
Jasmine Marie Apr 2013
This week I need to start writing that novel I've been putting off,
and finish reading that book that I got last week,

and not try too hard at drawing,
and draw an effortlessly abstract social satire,

and spend more time with people who make me laugh,
and spend more time alone, so I don't depend on others too much,

and start running again because it's getting balmy outside and I've been putting on weight,
and stop worrying about my waistline because it's shallow,

and spend more time sleeping, so I can get to know myself through my dreams,
and spend more time awake because I've been wasting my life,

and straighten my hair because I haven't bothered with it in a few days and it's starting to get frizzy,
and leave my hair ***** because it's empowering to my racial identity,

and stop wasting time thinking about the past because it's making me crazy,
and start thinking more about the future because it's practical,

and,

and...

I think maybe I'll just get started on that sleeping bit first.
What's a kid to do on Spring Break when drugs and alcohol make her uncomfortable?
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