Had I known I'd never hug you again
I would've held on tighter.
Had I known I'd never hear your laugh again
I would've told more jokes.
Had I known I'd never hear your voice again
I wouldn't have hung up.
If only I'd known.

Had I known you'd be leaving
I would've followed you.
Had I known you were lost
I would've found you.
Had I known I'd never see you again
I wouldn't have looked the other way.
If only I'd known.

Had I known , mom.
I could at least say I tried.
Had I known, mother.
I could at least have told you how much I Love You.
*But I didn't know

Goodbyes never hurt me
It's always the memories that follow
To live in such a cruel reality
A world so insensitive and shallow

A goodbye is just a moment
But the memories are stuck on replay
To think we deserve such torment
We remember each and every day

A goodbye will not hurt you
But the memories will shatter your being
Break your heart into pieces
Your life may even lose meaning

Goodbyes do not hurt you
They are only the beginning
A life that was once so simple
Turned into a life so unforgiving

I woke to the sound of fire
Chaos and panicked screams
Eyes alive with ire inspire
The stuff of nightmares and dreams

Her rage is as eminent
As black is in the night
Harsh words a sentiment
Of a battle I cannot fight

Her body is in motion
A violent display of hate
Her fear is an ocean
I drown in it's embrace

Waters of cold emotion
So bitter to the taste
Her tears the death of devotion
My hand reaches forward in haste

I hold empty air and memory
The loss of her touch is fresh
I pray that she remembers me
That my touch lingers on her flesh

how is it that I still feel every single emotion that you imposed on me?
how can I make you stop invading my mind with memories that inflict as much pain as they had joy? how is it that you were such a significant presence in my life and destroyed every inch of my ability to trust or love anyone? how is it that I still can't let go of you when you made me let go of myself?