I am faceless here
As is she, and him
Them, yes
Faceless as well.

Safe.

We've all arrived
In this place
Of written introductions
Contemplating, pondering
perusing, as we like
Inner workings
and frustrations
Laced in subtle sums
to soundless the equivalent
Like Shouting
or crying out

Need driving every one
Of we the authors,
The critics, or
the fans unknown

We contribute at leisure
Following kindred
and awe-inspiring gifted
We are Meeting
through simple likes

Those of us
The frequent sorts
I find, you may
or may not
Agree as I do
Feel that we meet
the writer
Faceless as we are
these similar others
On personal hidden levels
Not shown to the world
Of faced people,
of the sources
That spur some
words to come
I meet amazing people
Through this magic
of language
And to they, to you all

thank you.

the soundless, falling,  opaque rain
Adds through it's subtraction,
Facing away, when skeletons are out
I chase, to save though you play
Having had, tasted the forbidden
In and of the real form of you, of once
Beneath a front of love, white lies,
Not so little as the fixed smile
Not so honest as the bones of you

Two so lost
Broken
Each a little
Too much
In love true
But not enough
To fix us together
Apart I can fix me
Apart you can fix you
Love was not enough.

Discovering a need
To do, create, begin or build up
But what? Where is this drive
This unquenchable urgency
Of purpose viewed as if behind
A schedule, deadline,  
Is my time short?
All I wake to,
Though restless dreams
They too pressing, pushing
Fueling my every waking
I focus on establishing
One then two
Hiring, planning and implimenting
My attempt at leaving
My mark, a note, anything
For my son
When my time is up
A proof that in my life
I tried at something.

Tilting my view saw through you.
Though your ability to deceive,
Took more than a few degrees.
Passing that threshold threw me
I won't lie to protect or grow the ego
Inside, where next to it lays fragile strings
Sore and worn and one note more
Strummed, to break if not your song cease
Those beautiful compositions you play
Telling sweet, self-serving manipulations
Crafted and performed perfect, to a silent audience, caught up in and controlled
Each and every heart and this one
That owned the stage from
which they held you in spotlights
As such talent as you have honed
To masquerade as respect, devotion
Now clearly seen as scripted and rehearsed
Lies and disrespect, complete bulkshit
Boo you and so begins that fall from grace

I am so very, very tired
So long have I been at this
I see it is My turn, so tired
Long past due I let it go
This weight that my heart hordes
So much so that it knows no other's
You should know, I own the burden
Though it is imbued by You
My heart is unbending in its loyalty
Knows no technicality or view
Only You, that so very, very long ago
Woke in my breast the love
In turn became a world
My heart can't see Me destroy
And every day, so many nights,
So very many times I have known
Dreams from which my heart speaks
Each it calls out for You, you alone
Dreams are not weightless
As foolishly I once believed,
One, a few, even hundreds,
Difficult to notice when added
As life, living, the toll those carry
For so long, so very, very many nights
And I am tired, I confess at the threat of collapsing, and through the taxing of time
Being alone, incapable of loving
No other, I have tried and they knew
The weight my heart holds for you
Long past due I confess I still Love You
Unlike You, my heart never sought new
Never wanted any but You
Causing haunted dreams,
and shall I think forever
This is my hearts letter,  
my attempt to move on,
But never over... You.

Shouting without sound
So deafeningly envelopes
My mind a dizzying compound
Voices uniquely all my own
Circles and incessant banter
Back and forth praises some
Criticism seemingly echo
So frequent to nearly permanent
Dangerous self-appraisals
Most are exposed and understood
Systematically picked apart
discarded seen for what they were
Countered conscious affirmations
Feeling weak in the chaos
Introspection's melt to
Familiar jingles implanted
******* commercials are effective
I many dialogs in my charge
Honestly 90 percent of unheard
Or forgotten as quickly as the next thought
struggle and circles and lost articles
This is my mind, inside voices
All my sides and fears and guardian words
choices, ponderings, and resignations
No wonder terrible migraines viciousness
They create order and pinpoint focus
Every voices subject and order reigns
Pain does this duel edge solution
And i have found my own hands
Given the freedom to manipulate or create
Without a voice directing quiets my
Mind my dialogs turn to strings
Easy to appreciate, acknowledge
And i am zen-like in this watching
My hands create a peace I've thought fabled
So i tinker, i take apart, rather do appendages
Paint, or mold, sculpt or scribble upon paper
Coax words into my own form of poetic function.  Hands busy puts me into a place i run to often.  This is a result that written out i smiled and i listened to each line as i typed
Content and quite in appreciation.  Hope you like it.

Felt it in subtle way
Clues that she betrays
I move close though
She seems to go off away
I begin to see it
Even If she says different
We ain't going to make it
Welcome to the final days
Love this far gone
It won't be much longer
When i choose not to
And she keeps going
Welcome to the ending
This is where we are love.
Where i am
You just walk away.
The end.

To have list Her
And not fight
They, those, these
Words in my inner workings
words effectively warring
Resisting in silent protest
Festering, my needs plunder
As lines form into grey matter
That, these, they Me, myself, my mind
Until it fell to the numbers
Of versus and rewrites flanking
Blanket bombing me heartlessly
As such one is broken, pieces
Painfully calling for a medic
Where?medic! A that my place
As I've lost my heart anyway
I, me, my reasons unnoticed
white flag of defeat ineffective
too soaked in the greys and blues
The opaque army colors of Loss
Who, whom, Her!  and... Words fallen
My gaze falls in behind their descent
Of fire and black boiling javelins
Plummet,  stretch to drive
These, they, those memories
of bayonet like effectiveness run through.
This, the, my,
Last heart as my mind
With no desire, need, drive
And the war to find how best to write
For,of, about, Her...
Slips beyond the fabric of my time here
To hide bits and pieces,
I will like to be reminded one day
Not however today, no
Today I surrender to the waves
And force of emotions such loss causes.
Under boots of goodbye
And destroyers staffing lines
Echoing why why why
I wasn't good enough.  ...

I am accepting an unwanted truth
But the truth, though the better
When compared next to kin
Such so notorious as deception
Or one infamous cousin
Known by and called upon
Across throat and lips and tongue
Whispered and known as Lies
Branch out from one shared limb
Of the tree of life, we are in
Ripening, trying to hold on
Growing too heavy
For such is our position
Too far out, at the very ends
The day that closes in
To fall off, wrapped in uncaring wind
The ground will welcome
Cold and hard to a rotten end
Some carried off to be tasted
And taken in, for the goodness they will give
The rest then witness the ruin
Of the form they have become  
As sweet turns bitter
Decay seeps in, spreads itself within
as this truth has done to me it seems
To ever be the one,
She loves, says she needs,
Puts effort towards keeping
In the life we once believed we wanted
Truth is it was simply, completely
My own, alone
My dream, my own self deception
My acquaintance with her sister Lies
That sold myself my own denial
Made me choose the view to fit
The dream i never get
And now i see things the way they are
Truth can be a difficult one
Abrasive and brutal, Unflinchingly effective
At lessons when forced to be taught
But Truth will never leave
Emptiness such as the pit my Lies wrought

Ray of Light
For too long now,
these clouds...
Gray and deep,
like ink in water...
The landscape beneath,
barren, cold, forgotten...
Winds and rain,
lightning and thunder...
Just me, alone in this,
my way is guarded...
I'd given up,
no hope, no light...
Surrendered.
Then You came,
So bright, brilliant...
A single ray of light,
through those clouds...
You found Me,
In that light, peace...
And the ground,
hope taking root...
growing,...
that single ray exploding...
making a world I thought I knew,
New, intense and surprisingly wonderful.
A ray of light, And a world
I owe all to you.