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Beneath the waves of loss
Or shouted down from Olympic heights
Encouragement resounds most
Though nearly useless muted
By this perspective
Sep 8 · 13
Endless
If you can imagine
Ink in the oceans
Howling storms
Scouring winds raging
Unstoppable tsunamis
Uncaring plagues
Forests of untamed flames
Spewing ash enveloping
Fuel for chemical skies
Acid water drops falling
Stripping the plains
Seeping and brewing
All the way through
Imagine now nothing
The remains dissolve
Only dust and clay
Barren and beaten
Vistas in cracked forgotten
Fragments of once great
Lay to fates of nothing
Familiar places hollow
All gone to hellish endings
Feel the emptiness
The taste of sadness
Loneliness that aches

Maybe then you might understand
This is how it is inside

how I feel
each and every day

See how nothing
remains

My end of days
Are endless.
Sep 8 · 78
LAST
EVEN IF WE DON'T LAST...
I STILL CONFESS, I DO LOVE YOU.

CLEAR THROUGH EVER AFTER...
EVEN AFTER, THIS HAS LEFT YOU.

I WILL CONFESS, I LOVE YOU STILL.
Sep 8 · 15
Buried
I do not need cherish
Nor fall nostalgic
Life before this present
Remains affixed permanent
As the all too collected
This awful present
Of life memories moments
Emotions combined rise
As my state of mind falls
To clean out out dispose
I can manage if I welcome
The bittersweet sadness of
A life now piled in heaps
Embarrassing and awful
Buried and not wanting
To feel those low chords struck
To some its is hoarding
Me I think I'm hiding from
The past.  Buried beneath it.
Slight, repeating

Disturbed surface such

Light in brilliant

Silence does

Shimmer and explode

To pay tribute upon

Lone drop of

Repetitive stillness

Felt as neglect

Ripples down and on

Generations

enerations

neratio s

erat o ns

a io s

as

i
Aug 31 · 18
The Light Held
Counted moments passed us
Though the light of her eyes held
The longing inside mine
Aug 31 · 14
Forced to Confront
I've built these things
As distraction from the
State of my being
Blinded

Allowed for such waste
Collected as if cherished
Now as I am daunted
Set to the task
Disgusted

What made me this way
To choose without knowing
To let slip the standards
To live and not hide my needs
So much filth now
I am shocked by
The thought that
This is me.  

No longer.
I own it to change
Aug 28 · 21
Chaos at Distance
Children come now
To stay in place safe
Yesterday is the erased
Traditions replaced
Silicone windows teach now
As sires attempt new roles
Adding weight to the confusion
At the cost of education
Those that suffer are our children
This generation will pay
And this is the new norm
Less interaction, emailed whirlwinds
Locked inside whilst parents juggle work, bills, now education, screen times, emails, passwords, logins...
Missing work to devote such time
Or risk our pride our joys health
With riskier situations...
Better call work and hope for understanding as my child comes first though I know that bills rule the world.. Let's see how this ends.
Aug 19 · 161
What the Scorned Must
The light is of then
Often, but in this
Then, once

We, you and I
Tried, trying
More than most

Reasoning was
Love of course
As it was

Genuine true
But a fix
Love, ours was
not enough

We, you and I
Both of us
Faults inside

I, myself face
Inside trying
Learning forgiveness

You must do
What the Scorned
Must
Aug 19 · 33
Two
Two
Two so lost

Seeking

To feel real

So broken

Holding an other

In love

As such is

Could

Would not what

Learn must one

To forgive

The two

So broken
Aug 15 · 34
Ever Face Away
The day is bended
Blended by monotony
humdrum foot steps
Upon the heel of then
The view is aging
A translation in spectrum
Burnt tasting inhalation my
The world aflame
As always we
All face away
Aug 12 · 17
Choose
Choose.
by: Jack R. Fehlmann

Herald this golden new
Era in which We
The whole of Us
Side be side sharing
A culmination of such
limitless these Wiser ways of living
Sustainable priorities possible
Be Mindful with methods
and practice love, patience
Usher in A place for all
For all at long last
time is and is yet
present, A gift, treasured existence
disrobe this, our making
manifesting greedful, peril
A day is soon to pass
Dangerously proportionate
As upon such precipice
Not seen for lack of remembering
Forseen and fortold
Today or tomorrow
Forever in the balance
Choose.
Aug 10 · 16
Inside out of reach
My mind is pressed upon
Imagine sinking phantoms
Such pressure crushing
But there where light is memory
The scalpels behind these eyes
As if held by ruthless thought
Are killers that attack in the bright light situations and then
Writing..  then... Is out down...
To rest my eyes and to end this ******* head ache again
Aug 7 · 33
Life lived
Tried at this
Sharing
Wool like sweaters
Warmth
Perspective scoping vantage
To find inconclusively
Life is lived conscious
But mostly
Busy and rushed
Lived either way
The passenger, me.
Riding and witnessing
Life, mine.
Archaic tools to do
So little injustice
How it is, I am.
The very perspective
My view, I
Driven to enlighten you
The rest, them
So I try shining
Brightly, me
See me, lighting
You, don't.
Why try, me
I
Aug 4 · 25
Succumbed
Next...

    Next step.


Beneath...

   Them all.

My will...

   I, will.

Next...

   Failing.

One more...

   Nothing.


Succumbed.
Aug 3 · 26
Left to Right Endings
Drawn out
and discoverable
Witness's
admit being Led
left to right
And If as when
Is read
does create as
written
A growing distance
As eyes take in words
word by line
By line leading yet
To a line's
Ending
To find
a love's ending
Therein
Nearly always
ends
in periods.

Rarely
if ever
questions?

See.
Aug 3 · 16
Lip muck
The pins held in magnetic lines
Pinwheel and meet at the poles
Everyone who ever cared was somebody then like the magic wand
Waves once then is gone
Aug 2 · 191
knots
To the you

Of  then

Soothe thin

Mortal failings

Pure once

You do yet

I must move

Interned knot

Our wants

Confused

Balled in

Thoughts
That black and white,
Picture perfect everything
house and a wife
life's problems trivial
End with happy endings,
life is perfect
airwave education
We the TV generation
the picture box taught
as kids we believed
Life will be perfect,
As we deserve it,
Expectant, entitled ignorance
To believe life as writers dreamed
Love too easy,
be the stuff of legend
this life and the next
pact promised with a kiss
Forever, through sickness
and in health,
a financed diamond ring.
the world kept right outside
does not have theme music
and it doesn't give one ****
endings are neither good or bad to
simply death, pain, incarceratiosnd injustice and a clear line drawn
Have all | want it
Survival of the richest
Jul 18 · 165
Allows Less
I live in little world
Within these borders my kingdom

My walls, my keep,
My burden is mine and mine alone

Though I strategically seem beaten
This enemy waits afraid

Their toxic men of vision
Do not know my reasoning

All they can do is speculate
Behind these impregnable walls

The mad man king rules
Because he is aline
Jul 16 · 23
Never but in passing
misdirection premeditated orchestrate




That night I met you and I never heard your name that that night you met me you never saw my face
Jul 16 · 21
Be better Son
I hope he is better than me
How the difficult choices are made
Learning through my mistakes
Shared the worst to disbelieving eyes
Fell a few rungs that day
To him I would not dull down jagged edges
He needs to see he can be better than me.
Mind your choices in friends
Believe you are above the obvious
Words can't take away when you know the truth.
You don't have to and so what if they do
You're better then me Son
Leave doors open and aim high as you can
See what you can do
Jul 16 · 22
3600
So many miles
When you needed me
As closure now I sit alone
Only the scent of you
To remind
that it was real
I wasn't dreaming
I'm a melting *** of feelings
This time
I am smiling
I let the weight free
So long beneath
which I held Exercised
The long felt anguish
Confessed undeniable
Still unreturned
and more so undeserved
Because it is right
Less and inside
The design of making
To do and accept denial
Because I am loyal
and I a fool
know no other way
Only that of you
But this fault of mine
Clear signs and good reasons
overlooked and embarassing
Infuriating, unnervinly
Set aside hurt.
Eyes drying saying
I came because
Because to do so might
To do so,...
was right
not mine this folly
being unwanted
only foretelling the direction
Of you, you set out
Chose to go once more
I the shadow
The loss
I, once more
The saddest
I, won't go
Will not follow.


3600 miles of laughing, crying and now your path again shows
That you prl
Jul 16 · 20
Another Shade
Feather light; the kiss goodbye
Countering the inward need
Shock fed omissions failing
The mirror holds him and disappointment laughs scornfully
And he knows, he will not
She won't let him...

Impotent and unwanted
Jul 16 · 31
To write; Too Late
For the lack of your company
I am...






Without.
Three corners wrapped against
Weathered and pressure treated
Elevated antique communication
Faded paper starts to tear free
One corner in the breeze
So faintly my profile sun leached
Some ages and several squalls
That picture of me older even
I wonder if they came out
Lining up scanning earth, open ranges
Do they swim still, down murky
Are there secrets anonymously
Lost now, how do they feel
They gave up I am still not home
Inwardly they've mornef and moved
Life is to each our only found
Please before this wind takes me
Say a prayer for me, and look around
I was missed, taken, lost forgotten
Now just this page, is left of me
Jul 15 · 126
Good Sir, Til I See You
The call is upon one
Elevated beyond whilst
Tears set to fall
Do so evaporating a passing
Home I know you now
Too far to shake your hand
Out of sight for we here
But when you speak
If we listen deeply within
Those words tell of peace
Pleading no more hurt
Numbing the loss we hear
Never gone.
Waiting.
Listening.

Still here.
Good bye for now Ray Pitt.  It was an honor to have known you.  I'll keep an eye and a shoulder for your kin.

Until I see you.
Jul 15 · 95
oh upheaval be mine
Tick away the tock, tock, tock
With pendulum stealing away
To come back and
away brass reflection
Any moment any second
Raise this existence
From the endless swishing
Whilst I lose my day in
Jul 8 · 21
Only Moments Stolen
This must be quick
*****, and from the need

I am selfish this way
Stealing these moments

Though brief,
I am not falling into line

Instead tapping out a message

T...H...E...R...E...
I...S...
M...O...R...E...
T...O...
L...I...F...E...

That said, this must end
Time to get to work

Or else...
Real these moments of self
Reasons written by a broken inside
Beautiful, and missing deeply
Jul 6 · 15
Abrogated Attachments
I can afford no more to you
The oceans of solitary moments
Reversed and receding
Reveal to the few watching
Hulks gone under long ago
Vessels they denied lost
Broken and pulled beneath
How I felt about how you did not
Jul 6 · 14
I ask you...
Have you ever been at a place in your life that makes you unhappy and there's nobody to blame but yourself?  

Ever appreciate the good things in life by understanding one day you will be through this?  It can't last forever.  

Had so much going on that is working towards the better tomorrow, at the cost of knowing yourself today?

Looked back at all those underappreciated moments, or the ones you let go of that didn't want to let go of you and couldn't even beat yourself up for it because you deserve this?  

Loneliness is a state of being that is often self induced.  Once in place it makes us waste ourselves on wishing it would change.

I need to change.  I need help.  Or else I can't say I'll ever be myself again.
Jul 6 · 105
Fall Apart
My eyes take in the chaos
The amounts are staggering
In every aspect of my life
It's as if I've invited disorder
Everywhere it collects
And I can't find reasons to fight
It's as if I've fallen apart.
Jul 4 · 9
Safe Distance
The blue-grey clouds  bleed south
Behind the agitated greens swaying
It seems the wind has picked up
The storm is on the horizon now
Inside is my reason for venturing
But I must stay strong and remain out
Away from the un wanting, uncaring
At a safe distance less my will collapse
Jul 4 · 95
Hello poet
We, are one in the same
Now aren't we?  
Separate only behind
finger smudged glass
As together we seek
Likes or reread our writes
Eye to eye we try and try
To save the other
Writing to right wrongs
Felt inside most every night
Hello to you my reflection
What will we try this time
Will it be liked?
When my life, time, this experience
Of mine is ended and I return home
I know that I impacted very little
No grand actions will my name be known for.  Not good or bad.  Most I've noticed are thought of, missed, mourned for, no more than two generations after passing and those are the very best of the best lived.  No I'm one to be quickly forgotten.  Save for my son.  I've as a friend been inattentive.  Lover? Well, short term.  Never the one.  Never ever after.  Family will miss me slightly more than others that have only barely bothered to attempt at learning anything about who I was.  Just my son.  That he will keep me in his heart is all the peace I can ask for.  All I will need at the time of passing.  Though if I taught him and it took he will miss me but when in memories find himself laughing.  As it was all I lived for was to see his joy or hear his laugh so I tried endlessly to create only the best, only the happy memories by which to own my legacy.
I lose count
The quantity of times
Occasions lied to
Or as proof forgotten
Can't right now
One go to favorite
Busy, busy, busy, you are
Why use "will" when
Tomorrow is here,
Passes again and again
Perhaps "maybe"
A tad less dishonest
"No" "not" even "ever"
If together are no question
Truthful, borderline respectful
And we both know
What is not done, not said
Leaves closure open
To discussion.
Jul 2 · 41
Eyes open
As though.  Unknown
In this moment of nothing
I am creator, making real this
All I touch and hear or feel
Come into being when my
Eyes open to find
My place is
Alone
I.

But for You.
Jul 1 · 24
Outside
Witness within
without control
watching The systematic
sabotage of something
good being broken
It was my voice, but
all too strongly
laced with malice
My words sent
by my device and typed
out by hands
like mine
Hurtful
accusations that
I knew
could not be true
Blame and
shame
and petty thinking
were tools
that ruined
I fought, but I couldn't
make my mind stop
racing
Only break
a little more inside
knowing
the consequences
She would hate me,
put up walls and take
away new roads
Rightly so,
I know how unstable
my cursed and
That hated self Looks
to those that
stand close when it
gets out
more than once
lost
had to go alone
following
Each time
I've been passanger
witness within Again
and again
and I know,
that our connection
it broke
Is gone
for no good,
I hate him
I hate that
I am
him
to the world outside
of my skin
Toxicity in emotions
Bourne ******* feelings
Results of low self love
Minus a narcissist love
Hinge pinned reason for
Everything worth living
Incubation by loss
Losing egos pretty match
Sauteed in pride too great
Heeps of wasted time
Soaked in poetry lines
Line after line of go away
Bowl after bowl of get going
Pile on four more
To ten grinding years
If all this leaves only
Me.  Regrets. Holding Nothing.
Jun 30 · 45
Answering with a hint
The apex is

Really an end.

The higher

More important

The more time

One takes to know it.


Where am I in this?
Jun 30 · 68
How?
And how do you...
Know me
Share the unfair
Pull invisible strings
Stir what froze solid
Question the reason
Cause upheaval
Invite pain
Bleed this soul
Use words
To know
Making me
Wish for more
To know myself
Jun 30 · 22
grateful
Before I acknowledge
This vessel, these surroundings
From within, this vantage
Resting comfortably
upon a pillow
I take measure, this life
So pours forth my gratitude
In concert the steady cadence
This heart, filled in love
Joy and those dearest
As I simply breathe
And appreciate
Another day ahead of me.
Jun 30 · 204
Fires
It wasn't always such
As to be easily unwanted
Just as desires
Missed chances put out
Egotistic fires.
Jun 30 · 31
Me.
Me.
Hundreds of my thoughts
Falling short of lofty ambition
Maddeningly difficult to
Define my working faults
In my limited vocabulary
The reality of all parts
That unfragmented equal
Me.
Jun 29 · 30
At Another Day
Unremarkable, therein lays the unresolved.
I long after special, treasured, vaguely memorable.
Perhaps this is a folly on my part, wanting
As here I sit, hesitant, gazing out of the window.
Same as the last, the one before, prior, after.
This routine spoils the hungry fire and dims the brilliant light within.
Colors seem different, shaded, washed in grey.
Opening the door I dutifully commit myself,.. once more
The beginning, here at another day.
I leave my door open
Not a little, no
all the way for you
But you won't come
You are about you
No one else
As are these tens of tens
Thousands of moments
You were everything
Piled at the threshold
Asif I cannot force out
Page after page of
My hand drawing cursive
While your face haunts
Holds my attention
So I wait, pathetic and
Patient, one day,
Maybe you'll read them.
Jun 27 · 19
The Empty Air Between
What do we use words for?
We haven't communicated lately
I blurted out the hope
Met against open denial
Then without, and pushed
Growing distance
The Empty Air Between us.
Jun 26 · 35
I will not write
This way following that
That happened again.
Folly, stitched neatly this
Predictable wavey pattern
Weaving in and through out
What was once was not
Again the words I try after
Not to hold not to lock away
But to borrow as they too do
Hate me as only you so deserving
So by I won't strung along
Loaned words that elude
To draw the inner rolling hurt
I've gone this time the last time
I won't write how badly I
Won't.  Write without broken
Intent, coiled up and strewn about
As I once relished bitterly engrossed
Forcing my selfish failings
Won't discribe or talk away guilt
Seeking praise or atonement
I am in this place where alone
Drapped upon shaking reluctance
Is the smothering blanket of my life
I won't write to run and hide
As I've done to you, time again
This time, again.  I won't
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