my heart aches for things that have not happened,
will not happen,
and will never happen again.

Oh Allyn what
a state we're in.
how every drip and
gush is owed you.
eddies rushing,
overflowed
with water new,
are carving paths
through, yearning
just to wildly run
the banks as you do.
rolling boulders,
sounding like a
sunken drum too,
pounding down
by roiling fathoms,
all as one you wait
for none, and on
forever you
continue.

My dearest tea
you greet me sir,
take my left hand
your spoon astir.
i let you stand until just so,
beloved sip of company
i've come to know.
your brim is steaming,
and from behind you
early rays of glory
streaming through
a dawn awakened
window to a world
where life is teeming.
but wait, a few more
minutes with you...
let me lose your steady
brew just slow and quietly
as the glistening dew
appears, and winks
me from my
dreaming.

Reaching my third year in college and still remembering the past easily really means that time spares no one or no memory. We could all grow out of our old skins to realize that our new shells are just as hollow as ever, deeming hopeless in life and its travesty. Nevertheless,  that's what makes us so human, bleeding out our murderous thoughts and spilling it onto paper. The feeling of wanting to empty yourself to be a coreless vessel again, void of any emotions, unreadable to a living soul. Some of us get there faster with a pen, or even a blade, each of us digging deeper to our own little numb world, to ease the pain of conflict within or to put out the flames that are thirsty for oxygen, until the very wicker within us crumbles to dust. Back to where we started off. Fine as the dirt beneath our feet with no sign of life and no capsule of memory.

Dark heavens
slapped my state
of blues today.
the sky was grey
and green, and
seething in between.
it spat cold rocks
on me and made
me see alacrity,
defeat my sheets
of drenched
passivity,
refreshingly.