twist the blade
you sunk in
its pearlescent handle
gleaming in moon glow
basking in light
of refracted sun
itself, almost beautiful
in how much pain you were possible of causing

Where were you when life dripped off my chin?
Intaking's a sin. You're a sinner.
I can't eat dinner, I'm not hungry.
It means nothing. THIS MEANS NOTHING.
It's the mirror, and it's controlling.
Reloading another bullet for a throat that's decomposing, and
as acid clambered up my mouth, I had quick thoughts of death.
A moment where flesh and bone may rot away the failed flavor,
yet a knotted mass of pain I'll never lose stings today,
gauging my limbs until nothing remains of me.
This pain is an everlasting parasite, and I cannot be saved,
for this nasty sickness is called a brain to me.

He's in your brain.
Deception is exhausting. It's haunting your purpose, binded with slow tears streaming your face as you beg him to stop. Empty expressions fill you up, nothing to feel, nothing to say... all you want is one reason to stay, and the world offers otherwise. Pain is inaudible at times, cover your mouth and arms, honey, it'll be all over in a year or so. Months pass with repression til you collapse on the bathroom floor and there's no more you. Remember when you felt something inside you? A light that shined through, no one could change you, and here you are.... Empty. Empty of everything, even your blood as it pools on the tile, no smile, no nothing.. Just something that once was. Something that'll never be again, and wasn't for far too long. Longer than when you left, longer than anyone knew. Somehow you make things even worse than when you were around, people lounge in black, eyes glued to the box you'll never leave, thinking of memories you'll never see as they regret unspoken compliments you'd refuse to believe. In this time, distant friends even cry for you, people will remember this for decades. One small act will change lives forever, couldn't you ever realize this? Open your wrists and you open a door to lost hearts searching for a reason, give them a reason, they need a reason. Notes aren't enough, stains aren't enough, the autopsy isn't enough, they need just one more conversation with you. But you can't give it...
Hey at least he's out of your brain though, right?

please shut up about the moon
why won't you leave her alone?
she's busy casting silver glow
from her starry night of a throne
and weeping after you stuck
your disgusting little flag
into her skin all those years back

Tell me I'm not this. The blue began to flood
inside a room once painted black. Tell me I don't
see this. The orb of morning peering its start right to
my eyelids that can't even close. Tell me I don't hear
this. Birds chirping for sunrise, playing lightly as my
lullaby. Tell me I'm dreaming. My leg still twitches,
seven in the morning, because I'm afraid I'll lose myself
before dawn. Shedding emotion in fast waves of flight,
tell me I didn't run through time, making stars out
of daylight. Orange in the sky, and not from shy
headlights in insomniac cars. Yellow, making its fellow
opening for my uncomforted sleep, not a nightlight like before,
no. Tell me I'm not this.