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 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
meg
I remember
 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
meg
I remember when I was in the hospital and I didn't sleep for two days straight because I swore to god that if I did the demons would step out from under the bed and seep into my head.

I remember when it was three am, and I was shaken awake from the girl three doors down shrieking from the night terrors that her mother embedded into her skull with her fist and a belt when she was eight. But, they were then stored away until she was thirteen years old and a man swore that he'd beat her if she didn't cooperate. So, now they hide during the day, and creep back up when the sun falls.

I remember when I witnessed a boy unintentionally scratch at his skin until he bleed for an hour because the voices inside of his mind told him that if he didn't hurt anyone else, he would just have to hurt himself. and he swears he'd never hurt anyone besides himself.

I remember when I met a girl who had cuts up and down her arms and legs from when her mother told her she'd never survive the world because she isn't good enough. But, I swear to god that she was the strongest person I've ever met.

I remember when my roommate stayed up all night rocking with bloodshot eyes and deep purple circles underneath of them because she swore that if she slept the monsters inside of her head would crawl out and bleed into her soul.

I remember when the boy five doors down hit the wall so hard that it shook the entire unit because he hallucinated a man and a little girl trying to strangle him, and he swore he could feel the noose around his neck.  

even through all of this, for some odd reason teenagers think it's lovely to have deep scars and to hear voices telling them to **** themselves and everyone around them. I swear, nothing is lovely about demons eating at your brain and thoughts.

I remember when it was four am, and I was up weeping from the fact that people think my suffering is lovely.

I can swear to you, it's not.
***** hiding that I went to a mental ward. because I think that this is the best poem I've ever written.
 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
wecanonlywish
i crave your love more than anything in this world
 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
cr
sometimes the navy hue
of 3 a.m. and the patter of
raindrops sinking  into
cracked concrete is enough
to console me into sleep. sometimes

it pains the bruises on
my heart slightly too
much that it aches to shut
my eyes; you always loved
the scent after rain, and i always
loved you.
 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
Sara
Let me start by saying
I don't believe in love
But please let me explain
that it's just a rule of thumb

I say I hate the world
as I have a fear of rejection
I'm slightly socially awkward
especially when showing affection

However, beneath the surface
is another side to me
which i hide away from the world
for only a few to see:



I act like I'm the best
because I feel like I'm the worst
I shake my fringe and lower my head
when I'm uncomfortable or hurt

I have a tendency to overthink
and I get jealous easily
and I find it hard admit
as I'm afraid of people seeing all of me

I don't like to tell people these things
as it makes me feel vulnerable
just like I'll only sing to you
when I am feeling comfortable

I know you know I say 'shut up'
when what I really mean is 'yes'
there's a reason I'm telling you all these thing
that I probably should confess

I wanted to let you know me
but I was unsure how to do it
so I had to write a poem
or I'd be too awkward to get through it

So I have to tell you in a poem
how I really feel
before I change my mind
and the truth is never revealed

I say I'm really good with words
when actually, I'm just average
I'll say one thing but you'll know I mean another
if you watch my body language

I say that i don't give a ****
and that is sometimes true
but you can tell I'm lying
if I can't look at you

I've said I don't believe in love
yet I believe in fate
and I guess I like you quite a bit
so I'll tell it to you straight

i don't like expressing emotions
so forgive me if I'm blunt
but listen close to this
because I'll only say it once

-

I like the way you sing to me
though sometimes out of tune
I like the way when we lie down
you let me be the little spoon

I like how we don't have to talk
when we lay side by side
I love it when you tell me
that you miss me late at night

I hate your slow replies
but that's only because I'm needy
I like how we think we're really cute
when others think we're cheesy

I like the way you're patient
and how you hold my hand
i like the way you're respectful
and the way you understand

I like how we feel comfortable
when we're around each other
but i have to admit you're super annoying
when you steal all the covers

Your eyes, I've noticed, do this thing
where they go really soft
and i don't know if you knew
but you do it quite a lot

I like the way that sometimes
in your kitchen we'll slow dance
And normally I'm quite wary
but with you I took a chance

i hate the way you outsmart me
and how you're often right
I hate the way you cross my mind
every single night

I laugh at the face you make
when my hair falls in the way
I find it funny how we insult each other
at least five times a day

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'
is what we both live by
but I know I won't feel worthy of you
however hard I may try

I've said I don't believe in love
as it's a common misconception
but maybe I'm starting to think
that every rule has an exception
 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
alex
Untitled
 Jun 2014 LiviKawa
alex
I can't sleep.
I feel numb.
Like there are millions of little bugs crawling over my skin.
Each whispering
'I don't love you.'
© Alexandrea Biggs
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