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Your love is like a cigarette,
The more i take in,
The faster it kills me.
Isn't it amazing
How smiles can be faked
How laughs can be plastic
How ****** expressions be unreal

Isn't it incredible
How good of actors
People can
And that no one can see

Isn't it sad
Being that person
Behind that mask
Longing for someone to see

But alas
You're all alone
And your screams
Only echo
Off the sides
Of your mask

You can't let someone in
You can't get out
You must stay
An imprisoned actor
Faking to the end
I have an angel doll that looks like my mom on my wall, I cant look at it or bring myself to take it down.
2. I'm scared I'll only be in abusive relationships
3. I think I hate my mother.
4. I'm terrified I'll end up like my dad even tohugh I love him.
5. I discount my feelings till i fall a part.
6. I don't know if i want to recover from self harm.
7. I pretend to like bands so my friends dont hate me.
8. When I got lonely I sent strangers pictures of my body.
9. I almost killed myself 8 times last month.
10. I don't think I will ever love anyone.
11. I love too many people.
12. Being called annoying makes me cry every time.
13. I don't remember almost anything before 6th grade.
14. Sometimes I can convince myself I am dead.
15. When i get upset i lock myself into my closet and cry.
16. None of my old friends talk to me anymore.
I want to un-know
So I don't hurt.
It's selfish, but
the knowledge brings me
much pain.
She's the ink that forces my pen to bleed words
I never meant
To fall in love
I never meant
To fall in love
With you

But when you smiled
And called me beautiful
And told me
I was always on your mind
And that we would
Be forever until the end

How could I not?
Then I figured you
Out
You are a liar
You broke
Me
You broke the
Only me
I'd ever
Have
Every day she lies
To herself and the world around her
She puts on makeup too dark for her bright eyes
She keeps her mouth closed for when it opens
Its a web of lies
You could say she's so good she's convinced herself
Every morning she wakes in a disguise
She's the kind of sick you can't ever fix
She's a bundle of lies
She's dead inside
Here is where I take your smile and
stretch it into a sunset, I
remember your words to mean
everything they didn't
I make haikus out of eyes and note how
they emit light when you laugh
This is where I draw you indelible
on the pages of a notebook
I color you vivid, write you
permanent, take non-fiction and
turn it fantasy,
Into something we might watch
together on a Sunday night
I designate you hero of the story and
I wait with tired arms
to be lifted into yours
Here is where I create a landscape
out of ash and worship you with
language you don't deserve,
vocabulary that is too big for your small
Here is what could easily be a love poem if
you were someone who wanted one but
the only want you have isn't for me
and its weird because I don't really know him
but just the thought of getting to know him makes the butterflies in stomach have seizures.
I don't really know him
but I think he might be the one who saves me
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