I pretend I'm made for better things
I've been saying watch me spread my wings
But I will fail and I will fall
You should not have believed in me at all
I like to think I could change the world
But who am I but a frightened girl
Who tries to break from an inner shell
But will probably never escape her hell
So how could I be more than that?
From myself, I want to turn my back;
Give up this attempt of keeping on track
To being successful and never crack,
But I am me and I know me well,
Enough to know I'll never quell
This self-hatred enough to succeed
I don't have the confidence that I need.
What a ridiculous notion I created;
This ludicrous motion of a fight debated!
How could I win the war of life
When all I can focus on is strife?
There's no way I'll become a leader,
I'm born and bred as a bottom-feeder,
I'm not destined for greatness, like I thought,
That was a wishful dream that we all bought.

I used to avoid the outdoors
And confine myself to the comfort
And familiarity of inside
But you
You made the summer breeze that my hair danced with
Smell like safety
You made the background drone
Of distant traffic
Sound like comfort
Because it was covered
By our raw laughter
You made me start loving the wildflowers
Because they grew along the trail
On which we walked side by side
I fell in love with the outside
Because that's where we were
When I fell in love
With the idea of you and me

Hurts ,
Trying so hard
Not to think of you.

Hurts,
To ignore you
To keep my distance.

Hurts,
To see you so close
Yet not touch you.

It's the only way
I know
To get over you.