People often ask me why I do it.
How do I manage being here
When my Love is
873 miles away
Four states away
And one time zone away.

"How do you do it?" They ask.
"I could never do a long distance relationship." They say.
"I would never be able to handle it."

Well, the truth is
The way I can handle it
The way that helps me to "cope"
Is purely the fact
That my relationship is not
a Long Distance Relationship at all.

In this Love miles may be tangible
but they are everything but definable.
We had Love before there was a distance
and that distance will never be used to
Define us.

No matter how many miles there may be
I can still feel his Spirit with me.
His laugh rings in my ears when I can barely muster a chuckle
His fingers gently touch my skin when I drift off to sleep tucked away at night
I can hear the gentle whisper of his voice when I get up saying,
"Good morning, beautiful."
And I can feel him singing along with me in the car to our Song when my voice cracks.

Our relationship is not a Long Distance Relationship.
Just because there is distance
does not mean that distance defines It.
He isn't absent until I come home
or when he visits me
My Love is always here.
He may be in whispers, and small chuckles, and light sighs
But a part of him is always here
Always with me
Always there
and I can feel it.

So in a sense
our Long Distance Relationship
has no distance at all.
Because creating distance means to separate or to bring apart
And that's not what our relationship does in the slightest.
If anything
these 873 miles bring us closer
Closer than we could ever imagine.

I'm not saying that I enjoy
not being able to physically see him everyday.
But this chapter in our Love is not hard or difficult or too much to handle
And it certainly isn't bringing us apart.
Because we both do not see any other option
This is worth it.
This is right.
This is It.
This is the kind of It that everyone talks about
we all hope for It, search for It, even die for It.
and we are so blessed to have found It so early.

So these 873 miles will not be permanent
but they are so indescribably worth it.

Somewhere in the distance

we sense there is something
calling us out
and no resistance
is as strong as

seduction

I can't resist a pretty boy playing the guitar
Just make me go wild, losing my mind
no one is perfect anyways, so why don't
waste some time until we both find
ourselves in the dark

I've never felt so alive before
in the nothing of our chaos
as we slowly reach the core
all implodes in shards of aeons


Why am I dreaming of someone like you?
There is no way of knowledge
and no such thing as emotion ...or love
only sharp daggers, temptation and I pledge



let me go, lift you spell and stop stealing

my sleep



And for the second I close my eyes you are mine...

I fell in love with you in the purchase of a postage stamp
I put your face and body and mind on paper
The way your hair curls
The way you jump with excitement and flap your arms
like a kid would on Christmas morning
How you were always there to turn to
Although I couldn't turn to you because you were never there
And by there I mean here, with me, where you should've been
I fell in love with the train tickets to you
The little orange squares like golden tickets
Granting me access to see you
To touch you
To share the foam of my coffee and laugh with you
at the man dancing at the hot dog stand
And when you finally stepped through my doorway
I swear it was Christmas and my birthday all at once
Planting my head on your chest
We bloomed and grew to heights I never knew was possible
And while little flowers blossomed at the ends of my fingertips
they grew on the tip of your tongue as you uttered those words
Those words to whom I have told but one; you
If I could find a word to describe the feeling of reading
the last several pages of a book you know has become your favourite
I would tell it to you
The hours that we whiled away and the ones that took up
the most of our day to get to each others arms before they took another’s
all meant something
And while the last bitter-sweet pages of our story have been read
Know that there's a girl who still writes you
You dance on the pages of her notebook
And while the postage stamps stay un-licked
She sends these poems to you
For in her mind you will always stay

I don't think anyone else
Can miss someone
The way I miss you
But if they do,
I'll tell them

"Be strong.
Hold on.
He's worth it."

The saddest hours
Are when I'm asleep
And you're awake.

When I'm dreaming
And you're not.

The convincing myself
I'll see you soon,
Not knowing
When "soon" is.

The kissing your picture
Before going to bed,
hoping you'd feel
The coldness of
My chapped lips
That are in need
Of your non-smoking
Ones' warmth.

The praying,
The hoping
That the next time
I open my eyes,
I see you
Sleeping beside me
With your heavy arms
On my chest.
You may make
It harder to breathe,
But who needs air
When I have your
Scent to inhale?

Even the most
Annoying things;
Your snore.
That keeps
Me up all night.

You may not know this,
But you were my
Favorite part of
The day.

But sometimes,
When I open my eyes,
I see you.
Sleeping, snoring.
Right there.
Then in a  blink away,
You're no longer there.

Those couples on TV
That never look like they would be together
End up being together season after season
Laughing and crying
Loving and loopy
Late nights and early mornings
Sarcasm and seriousness
Give a helping hand when it's needed
Look back laughing about the times they messed up
But never letting it hurt what really matters.
That's my life.
That's my long distance sitcom

For one moment
One small moment
I felt like I could taste the salt of her forehead
With the kiss that closed her eyes goodnight
The city, door-by-door, curtain-by-curtain
Shut
Just as the eyelids that followed
But only hers did I long to see the beauty behind them
And if I were given that chance, not a shimmer of tears
Would I find on this night
Only fulfillment
Only peace of mind

My fingers envy the rays of sun that find her back to gently awaken her
As they spill through her window
My words wish to take on the ways of the wind and carry
To her door just as it opens
My heart’s only offering is to protect hers
With the strength of her own bones

And the body that spurs them
Will hold hers endlessly
When there is no more space between them
No distance left for longing

Airports are intriguing lately.
They're your refuge.
They wake when ordinary people are in a sleepy bliss.
They hold secrets.
And runaways.
And hidden doors to the unknown.
Tender kisses.
Solemn cries.
Broken hearted lovers
No chance to say goodbye.

These airports feel things only poets seem to write down.
Emotion fills the halls.
As passengers avoid the fall..

This airport seems so lonely.
Take me with you.
Let us fly.

Last night I had a dream
And in that dream
I fell asleep in your arms
A simple wish,
Which I desire greatly
It felt so real.

I was blissfully happy
And I felt so safe,
I finally felt at peace
A feeling which has been difficult to hold onto
As of late.

Now I'm awake,
Left to face the bitter reality
- I am all alone.

I miss you more than ever.