in this thrifted sweater
and black and white floral skirt

in my soft and faded yellow
and on those pastel clouds
with my daydreaming eyes

i wanted a cheap ticket

you see,
i wanted a one way trip
to heaven
so i could stand protected
so i could stand behind
the holy gates,
bathing in gold light.
in my sweater,
wrapped in light
and safe.

little did i know i’d feel safer that day
that i’d taste some of heaven
in that sweater in late november
with your arm interlaced
in mine
like fate
had planned
for that to be
the moment our stars
aligned

you were a sunbeam
my sweater was security
and your arms beheld the stars
of the heavens
to me

and can i tell you something?
they were all
so
*yellow

this distance
you forced
upon me
burned my heart
to ash

and even though
you left me as dust
i still begged you to stay
but instead,
you blew my ashes away.

But I can't see.
My whole vision is a blurred, red mess.
My blood is soaking the string.
Dripping onto the marble floor.

Drip
Drip
Drip
Drip

There's a pounding sensation in my head.
It hurts, I cannot breathe.
I do not love you.
Get out of my head.

Out
Out
Out
Out

With a pair of scissors, I cleanly cut the string.
It loosely falls to the floor.
You stare at me with your big blue eyes.
It's like looking into an abyss, or into a twilight sky.

But it stings.
A bruise marks my finger where the string once was.
The starry sky is swallowing me whole.
I will never again see your pretty face.

I hate the string that burns my skin.
I hate your face.
It gives me a melancholic tinge.
I hate what drew us together.

But I finally broke it.