I’ll read this poem in
eleven years
and know that
my first love is
dead , has died
somewhere on this world
his blood saturated
his heart that
once loved me
still .

They say it takes
28 days
To stop a bad habit
It’s been 29
And I’m still missing
You .

I’m a slave to you
You’re a slave to drugs
We’re both poisoned by the things we touch
Don’t you think
It’d be better for us
if we broke this triangle of love

It’s a choice we make
The decision we take
But if Mandy comes
I’ll be replaced
Give me something to hug
Give me something to take
I don’t wanna be in this much pain

I want you to be addicted to me
the way you are to her
But I’m not gonna stop you
We’re both guilty in our own ways
I understand you because
I’m doing just the same

How is it to feel
like an almost dead fish
drying out under the sun
listening to the sand rolling by
watching with one eye
helplessly beside the ocean
but not inside of it
saturated with nothing
helpless
not dead
yet helpless

Seeing your smile from
My window
Your beautiful smile
-
My hands are still shaking
Just seeing you smile
makes my life worthwhile
23.18

you’ll find
someone
who’s ****
****
and who’s
hair doesn’t
get
in the
way
maybe
she’ll play
drums as well
or
maybe not

someone
who won’t
have
an ugly
laugh
bigger ****
nicer
eyes
lips
maybe she
will
be easier to
talk to
better
to
kiss
provide company
to your cigarette
maybe she’ll
understand
you
the way I
do
but if
she won’t
then at least
she’ll have a
nicer
****

i used
to look
at heads
that
checked
all the
boxes
in my
head

long hair
this
that and
that
looking for
the perfect
customized
ideal

and then i
found you
and you
found me
and none
of those boxes
mattered
because
i loved you
truly

I feel like a dog when it
sees its human
every time , when I’m about
to see you
I tell my heart stop
but it doesn’t listen
it beats like a *****
for you

when I was sixteen the only
three things
on my mind were : alcohol , Charlie
and a boat
to have a boat and swim away
be lost
surrounded by water
drinking with orcas
still
thinking of
Charlie

I ask do you care
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I knew this before
You ruined me to the core

I was crying
Before I went
I really did not want this to end
Sat down under the light
Waiting to see your drunk
face in the night


I will never force you to love me
But if you love me I won’t mind
Promise me you won’t change your mind

and rhyming poems
always feel forced
to have to
compromise
to certain words

it’s not their fault.
the words don’t match
the thougths
they want
to express

everybody should know
that the only formula for peace
is to : mind your own ******* business

and if god really created
humans , what a embarrassing job
He did

nobody can ever take away
my love for
you
only you
can accept it
or
refuse
and when people hold
the words hostage
in my throat
i will still
               always
                           love

                                 You

you stopped thinking
of the
girls you loved
before me

but now
I think of them ,
perhaps
if I am more
like them
you’ll love
me more
too

No more poems
No more poems

About love unrequited
This spark between us finally ignited

Two actors holding hands
Unaware of where we stand

It was worth the wait
It was worth the wait

my
sister lost her own tooth
like she’s about to loose her head
I know I don’t appreciate her enough
yet there she is
going *******
walking on the ceiling

I know I don’t appreciate her enough
it’s beyond a poem to say
I’m so happy you’re my ; half sister
and I’m so very sorry to be your half assed
sister

A **** ton of the ****
I think
Is about ****
that hasn’t even half happened
and its ****
to think of ****
that may not even be
so ****

To inhale roses
is to exhale death
but between love and
hate I tend to complain
about the flowers
Always too bright
Too dull or
smell too good

Wake up
You’ve been sleeping for so long
But I know you’re there
Somewhere in the crevices of your heart
You’re still lurking
Waiting
For someone to find you
Beautiful and strange