I never wanted this.
I never wanted this hell upon me but she just grabbed me in her cold bony arms. She hugged me so tight and she would not let go. I am so **** cold. I cannot move anymore. I cannot run. She is eating my soul and my body away. Her lifeless cold eyes seemed so warm to me. She was my friend and my lover. She played me over and dragged me into this wretched hole. Thoughts would repeat all over_
I am fat
I am fat
I am fat
I believe her words. She brain washed my brain thinking into it that she is always right. She must be.

I breath in and out
That is what makes me alive, huh?
And my flesh
My bones
My blood
My pumping heart makes me human
But what is m soul made of?
It is not colorful like it used to be
It is not bright like others
Indeed it is barely alive with bleeding holes
It has all my pain
All my suffering
And every new knife that stabs my back
Makes a new hole

People are like newfound plants in the nature
They can be so beautiful
Yet so poisonous
Sometimes they are dull
Yet so productive and kind
Kind in a plant world
And people in human world
But you will never know who they really are
Unless you come close
And touch them
Unless you take a big risk
And spill your thoughts to a stranger

Drained tears on your face
Will remain unseen
Their story unheard
Throat closed
And then
Everyone will go on with their work
Even you and your shattered body
Listen to that mind of ours
Darkest part of your soul

Night is coming to an end
The Sun will rise again
My eyes still wide open
Similar to an owl
Looking out at the sky
Those beautiful colors
Falling on each other
Maybe one day
They will give me freedom
They will give me peace

I am a beautiful disaster
Made of pouring rain and rainbow
M colors will make the pavement shine
Rain left in my soul
Broken dreams and hopes
But I will try
And the rainbow will rise
It will shine
Shine with colors living in me
Colors once washed away from my childhood

Flowers in the park
See everything
First kisses
First broken hearts
Old people feeding birds
Kids playing in the sand
The know all of their stories
But nobody knows theirs