Thinking of you again
A bit of sadness creeping in

I know you wouldn't want me
to ever feel this way
But the debt that I now owe you
requires a lifetime to repay

The sadness is from the suffering
I know I put you through
With sweat and blood you cleared my way
for a better path to choose

So when I fall, I will get up
I got that much from you
I'll keep the faith and stay the course
I've far too much to lose

why, what's wrong?*

sometimes everything, sometimes nothing, sometimes i don't even know.  

depression shows up uninvited and makes a home in my chest.

I see his name and my stomach plummets
Not in the way it used to
Not in the way that made my face glow
And my knees weak

Its sinking
Screaming
The blood drains from my face
And I gasp for air.

just let that ******* bass drop.

and throw in those lights as well.
definitley some smoke.
lasers too.
maybe a few LED screens.
or ten.
or twenty.
or just one that fills the entire stage.
that's cool i guess.
paid a **** ton of money.
i want a ******* trip.

i want my ears to ring.
her *** to bounce.
fifty thousand fists to pump.
in perfect unison.
like it means something.
those girls with fake flowers adorning their heads.
all of the bright, like a feast for the night.
the glitter. the paint.
the airborne cake.
.
.
like it means something.

this scene will continue to grow
because nobody knows
what it set out to do in the first place.
big lights and pop hooks.
small pills and good looks.
now you're one of us.
no knowledge required.
the music plays
without you
on stage.
deafen me.
defeat me.
alive.
this is what it means to be.

I saw her burn in fire.
I saw my dreams turn into ashes.