Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
this house will never be my home as much i try to force it to be

its the remembrance of pieces of myself i've left in different places
that wakes me up from my dreams

its the hole they've left where my happiness used to be
that causes a migraine when i am alone

i've clawed at my skin to try to bind the hole shut
but nothing is strong enough to keep it that way

i've tried ripping up the roots of myself in those places
so that nothing of me is left

is it because those places don't deserve my memory
is it because the only reason that my roots are still grounded
is that i cannot let those places go

is it that i cannot change



it seems that all i can really do is let the previous roots die
and plant brand new ones in the places i never want to forget
Time of death:
3:44.
When you told me you don't love me anymore.
Place of death:
The park where we met,
on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remember the dreaded words which escaped your lips,
the heat in your words,
the look on your face,
as I took a metaphorical bullet to the chest;
it hurt like Hell.
Cause of death:
You.
When you stabbed me in the heart for the first
and last time.
A fatal blow.
But in the coroner's office,
all the report will ever show is:
time of death:
3:44.
Cause of death:
Trauma to the chest.
When your heart gets broken by someone, it feels like you've been struck in the chest. The air feels like it's been knocked right out your lungs and you feel as though you can't breathe. You feel a mixture of emotions all blurred into one mess. You play the final exchange in your head over and over again, and each time it gets harder and harder. Heartbreak. It feels like you've been stabbed in the back and shot in the chest all at once.
I am now without a muse,
Apply for the position.
What colour are your eyes?
Are you to be my newest addiction?

Is your hair long,
curly, coloured fawn?
Or is it straight and dark,
to match your mysterious heart?

Will you mock the movies,
and teasingly hint at dates?
Or will you be serious,
Emotion, and humour behind closed gates?

Will you hide behind smiles
and laugh like no one's watching?
Or will you simply do nothing
For already, my attention, you are catching.

Whoever you may be,
I couldn't care less.
Just hurry up and materialize
So in poems I may confess.

Because I think my muse
may truly be a thought
The idea of love, it is.
My experience is nought.
Got a bit Yoda-ish in order to make things rhyme ':D

I really enjoy writing about loving different people, but I can't say i've truly ever felt it.
(Translation found below in notes)


Those eyes, those eyes…
Ne plus ultra …
I just knew that I'd seen them before.

Those eyes, those eyes …  
stopped my mind in it's tracks … like a ship that had ran ashore.

Those eyes, those eyes …
Sui generis …
Innocent, soothing, sublime.

Those eyes, those eyes …
They startled me … that moment they first gazed into mine.

Those eyes, those eyes…
Nonpareil …
throughout thee entire world.

Those eyes, those eyes …
like the moon so bright … or a magnificent flag unfurled.

Those eyes, those eyes …
Suaviter et dulce …
The eyes of a timeless friend.

Those eyes, those eyes …
they will find my soul … oh yes, yet again.

Those eyes, those eyes …
Coelo missus …
as I'm sure that thee angels chose.

Those eyes, those eyes …
sadly missed these days … except when mine are closed.

Those eyes … they shimmer …
just as my beloved Gulf in the summertime … a brilliant, beautiful green.

Those eyes… adorned with orange flecks …
like sapphires, adrift in those waves … are truly a site to be seen.
This piece composed itself over a 7 year span and came to fruition in October-November of 2017. Trying to write about someones eyes without sounding romantic/mushy is an uphill battle indeed. Try it, I DARE you!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, here is your Latin lesson for today:
**NE PLUS ULTRA**

noun: ne plus ultra
The perfect or most extreme example of its kind; the ultimate.
"he became the ne plus ultra of bebop trombonists"
synonyms: last word, ultimate, perfect example, height, acme, zenith, epitome, quintessence.

Origin : from Latin. Literally ‘not further beyond,’ the supposed inscription on the Pillars of Hercules prohibiting passage by ships.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
**SUI GENERIS**

adjective: sui generis
Unique.
"the sui generis nature of animals"

Origin : Latin, literally ‘of its own kind.’
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
**NON PARIEL**

adjective: non-pareil
Having no match or equal; unrivaled.
"he is a nonpareil storyteller"
synonyms: incomparable, matchless, unrivaled
noun: non-pareild, unparalleled, unequaled, peerless, beyond compare, second to none, unsurpassed, unbeatable, inimitable

An unrivaled or matchless person or thing.

Origin : Late Middle English: from French, from non- ‘not’ + pareil ‘equal’ (from popular Latin pariculus, diminutive of Latin par ‘equal’).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
**"SUAVITER ET DULCE"**
Translated from Latin: "Gentle and sweet"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
**COELO MISSUS"**
Translated from Latin: "Heaven sent"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Say what you will about Latin. If I had written this using the English translations instead of the Latin, it would have NEVER been as good.
I watched her cry
a puddle
of
tears

she rubbed the salt
into
her
paper cuts

then drowned herself in it


not every smile is meant to be kind

when you grin with your lips pressed
together

I can't help but think softness
in your demeanor
and of the kisses
you sometimes place
on my forehead

but if you smile
and bare your teeth, I will be scared
I'm afraid of those
lips parting
and speaking ill words
I would much rather
you tear
my skin apart with those
teeth of yours
you're showing


My dear,
I will gladly accept all of it because
at least you're smiling
When you arrived
I did what any normal person would do
I made room for you
...
trigger warning:
Hate long poems?  move on.
Love words?  pleasure your self

<=>

drought and famine of the spirit,
over-staying summer
house guests in an overly sun blanched,
voided, white outed, mental abode.

faculties parched,
overly starched,
compositions lost in transition,
why can't they make it ashore?

It's after 2 AM, and though
ferries have stopped running,
mainland hangover hangerons are
working overtime to prevent
"author"izations, so all I get
when I press send is a whole lot of
"permission to cross," denied!

causes of vexation undisguised,
dual natured and manifold,
luxuriating and drowning in home grown,
city organic insipid,
makes one quick to blame
nobody in particular,
but yourself, repeatedly.

reasons many, the distractions of
rustling contradictions populate,
another life road fork looming,
a track record for choosing badly,
colors the blacktop even blacker and
ramps up desires for a janitorial,
but first do no harm, status quo.

Need a beer.
Need a distraction.
Need a homework assignment,
which I buy at the IGA market:

obey the eleventh commandment
which every writer knows;
you think you're Mr. Bigshot,
so pudding prove it,
write it,
one true sentence,
let it be a constitution for all,
with the lengthy consistency,
of a Hemingwayesque,
one true sentence.

dearth to riches occurs
as fast as a basketball
three second violation,
inspiration dripping like
windshield condensation,
got so many true sentences,
how ya gonna choose,

O sinner man?

sadly you don't hear or feel
my background music,
stringed surf sounds playing
Perlman's Mozart low to
the thunderous, sweltering,
swells of applause of
90+ degree heat
w/o a Crescent Beach breeze
to console the disowned

these superheated thoughts
now focused,
emerges a bill of sight,
lading my heart's many heresies,
staccato thoughts now,
rapid fire rebel,
a pre-discourse insurrection,
voices of words lash out -

pick me - immortalize me,
I wanna be,
a constitution for one,
one true sentence.

The Moment of Ownership.

Hillel did it,
standing on one leg,
a Sanskrit mantra,
not by me,
not for me,
not through me,
even more succinct.

full clarity unobtainable,
begin when fighting thru
the static of each nerve,
knowing that
each thought,
each emotion,
is a constitution
of sorts,
recognizing life is a series of
moments of ownership,
but that are truly ours
only when relinquished.

each one, a true sentence
when writ, spoke,
but only when disabused
of notions of possession
only true, when gifted away.

Lucian Freud painted those whom
he knew best, their portraits,
fully clothed but wholly naked,
a painter of revelation
thru the skin tones of the flesh.

exposeur of skins interior
displayer of old and ungainly,
left us eyesight more true
than an honest mirror,
with poetic brushstrokes overlay,
gained entry to what his
grandfather named id and ego,
artist's superego, his reflections,
a continuous judgment
on a pool of stretched canvas
that makes me despair that:

I will ere succeed
to cross the borderline
that modernity insists upon,
self preservation, neurotic fears,
impositions on my psyche and
that my moments of ownership
will be n'ere be stamped "transferred."

I take back my life,
by giving it away
this alphabetized self portrait,
a wrinkled sketch of me,
my ownings, undertakings
needs taking by you
so I can disown it.

these words are my own,
their conjunction is a
junction to you,
and a constitution for me.

once this expiation
is in your purview by the voted
election of Send,
bonded by a mutual
Moment of Ownership?

so net net,
bottom line,
these are my
one true sentences,
summarized, constitutionalized:
I am yours, for the taking,        
so come by, for and through me,
in many moments of ownership.


p.s. let us shelter together in place, an island growing
lost for many years; for Mary Winslow
Next page