he was tossing a baseball with his friends when he saw her.
she was riding the yellow bicycle down 1st avenue,
as she passed his house, a thin string linked the two together.
every day she would pass his house, the string became stronger.
the first day she stopped in his driveway, he was dumbfounded.
her soft, blond hair was pinned back with a small headband, but one strand happened to escape the confinement to frame her slender face.
she was the definition of grace, her slacks hugging to her slim figure in the most delicate way.
the string never seemed so robust as she neared his front door.
they spent that day together, in a comfortable and slightly stiff silence, led zeppelin playing faintly in the background.
in slow motion, he watched as she tucked the piece of hair behind her ear nervously. she caught him watching, her cheeks burning and a grin creeping onto her face.

and in that moment, he vowed she would be his forever.

seeing you with him hits me like a massive train.
im over you, i am. i’ve moved on with my life, in more ways than one.
but seeing you with him makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand tall. seeing you sharing our songs with him makes me nauseous, though i have no right to feel this way.
you’re not in love with me anymore, you love him.
and the realization that you don’t love me is agonizing.
i can’t catch a breath because he caught it first.
he gets to love you like i did once upon a time.
but, he’ll never love you the way i did.
he’ll never cherish you the way i did.
he’ll never get to see every layer of your personality the way that i did.

but he’ll get to touch you.
he’ll get to hold your hand and feel the delicate skin against his palm.
he’ll get to see how your eyes glisten when the sun shines, and hits them just right.
and he gets to reassure you about how exquisite you are or how angelic your voice sounds when you’re still half asleep.
he’ll get to comb his fingers through your hair, and he will get to hear your laugh every day.

i hope he treats you the way you deserve.
i hope he can give you everything i wasn’t able to.
i hope he teases you about your height even if you’re taller than him.
i hope he reminds you every day how ravishing you are, and never allows a time where you don’t have a grin plastered on your face.
because you deserve it. you deserve everything good in this world.
you broke my heart more than once, and im still trying to rebuild the pieces until it’s whole again. but i want nothing less than perfect for you. i know that’s not me, and im making my peace with that. i hope the two of you will bring out the best in each other.
i hope you teach him things about life that you’ve taught me.
i’ll never forget the love and envy we shared together. how could i?
i couldn’t forget the woman who shaped me into who i am today.
i couldn’t forget the love i had for you that was so strong, it continues to fuel my existence.
the love i had for you made me become a better person, it helped me to learn what love undoubtedly means.
it will help me with my future relationships,
it will help me to know it’s okay to love openly and exuberantly.
but most of all, our love will help me to say goodbye to you.

the man with the long hair caught my attention today.
something inside of him was luring me to stand by his side.
the weight of the captivating man's ambiance was suffocating.
i was drowning in the feeling of his life that surrounded me.
what was so special about the man with the long hair?
it's as if power was raveled in the beautiful mane that lay atop his head.
when our eyes met for the first time, there was something holding me there. Something's preventing me from pulling away.
there was something about his stare that was so bewitching.
i suddenly desired to know this man.
i longed to hear his story; to know why i felt so biddable just from his aura.
i turned to ask his name, but alas, he was nowhere to be seen.
and i was left standing in the middle of a busy street,
wondering how my life will be complete
without the man with the long hair.

anyone could see it; the way she looked at him.
the yearning in her eyes could be noticed from across the room.
it's almost as if she didn't hear the words he breathed so delicately.
everyone else heard, they heard every word of the painful exchange.
yet, the girl's doe eyes never lifted from their inattentive gaze,
and her feeble fingers never detach from where they wrapped around his clenched fists.

or maybe she did hear him.
just too caught up in her first lover's eyes,
too spellbound by his new pine cologne,
or too captivated by the image of him she created in her mind
to see he didn't love her anymore.

it's almost as if she were calling to me,
begging me to venture from the barren prairie
to the tantalizing surf,
to wholly submerge into her; to escape from my sorrows,
to inundate myself with the delicacy of her frigid surface.
i could hear her, muttering my name from across the meadow.
slowly, i was growing aware of how minute i had become,
standing in this immense field alone.
i felt the aching, and the longing for amity scrabble its way up my spine.
my legs begin to take strides, my entire body follows en suite.
my fingers shakily unbutton my blouse, tossing it somewhere within the paddock.
it was as if my body had a mind of its own, and was spellbound.
my boots are off before i can comprehend what is happening to me.
and suddenly, im unclothed,
my feet digging into the sand beneath me.
my ears ring as my brain swims and i can't focus;
all i hear are her exquisite murmurs, chanting my name
until it's no longer recognizable.
the ringing in my ears swells, roaring until my brain aches and my vision grows more and more white until im underwater,
covering my ears and screaming for the chaos to subside.
and it does. my **** body is submerged into her breathtaking sea.
never have i felt more at peace.