seeing you with him hits me like a massive train.
im over you, i am. i’ve moved on with my life, in more ways than one.
but seeing you with him makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand tall. seeing you sharing our songs with him makes me nauseous, though i have no right to feel this way.
you’re not in love with me anymore, you love him.
and the realization that you don’t love me is agonizing.
i can’t catch a breath because he caught it first.
he gets to love you like i did once upon a time.
but, he’ll never love you the way i did.
he’ll never cherish you the way i did.
he’ll never get to see every layer of your personality the way that i did.

but he’ll get to touch you.
he’ll get to hold your hand and feel the delicate skin against his palm.
he’ll get to see how your eyes glisten when the sun shines, and hits them just right.
and he gets to reassure you about how exquisite you are or how angelic your voice sounds when you’re still half asleep.
he’ll get to comb his fingers through your hair, and he will get to hear your laugh every day.

i hope he treats you the way you deserve.
i hope he can give you everything i wasn’t able to.
i hope he teases you about your height even if you’re taller than him.
i hope he reminds you every day how ravishing you are, and never allows a time where you don’t have a grin plastered on your face.
because you deserve it. you deserve everything good in this world.
you broke my heart more than once, and im still trying to rebuild the pieces until it’s whole again. but i want nothing less than perfect for you. i know that’s not me, and im making my peace with that. i hope the two of you will bring out the best in each other.
i hope you teach him things about life that you’ve taught me.
i’ll never forget the love and envy we shared together. how could i?
i couldn’t forget the woman who shaped me into who i am today.
i couldn’t forget the love i had for you that was so strong, it continues to fuel my existence.
the love i had for you made me become a better person, it helped me to learn what love undoubtedly means.
it will help me with my future relationships,
it will help me to know it’s okay to love openly and exuberantly.
but most of all, our love will help me to say goodbye to you.