It’s been a year
The clock strikes midnight
And its been a year
But this isn’t Cinderella
Or another stupid fairytale
Because it’s been a year
Since anyone has loved you
Or at least pretended they did
There have been people
Who have itched to touch you
Feel your skin under their hands
Sure,
But in the end
You’re left without being desired
For anything more than your body
Maybe it’s easier to make-believe the passion
For romance
But all of the endings are the same
Crying yourself to sleep is your
Happily ever after

In autumn I found a boy
Who asked me to love him
And said I love you
Only after a party and a few drinks
I was laying in bed
And told my friends about him
They said I hope you're happy
They knew I wasn't

In winter I kissed a boy
Who tasted like alcohol and said
I love you all the time but
He hurt himself whenever I made mistakes
He threatened to leave me if
I didn't do what he said
My friends watched me
They said stay away from him

In spring I spent time with a boy
Who told me it was his way or no way
And when I challenged that
He told me
I love you and that's why I'm doing this
My friends saw the cuts and bruises
They gripped my wrists while I said
I deserve him

In summer I wanted no one at all
And when he walked into my life
I didn't expect to fall
But he kisses like the devil
While keeping all my demons away
My friends held my gaze and told me
Keep him and
Stay

(m.w)

It's easy to say I love you when you are face to face.
It's easy to say I love you when you are inside someone.
It's easy to say I love you when they are caring for you.
It's easy to say I love you when the butterflies are in your
stomach and every waking moment is consumed with one another.

But it's not easy to say I love you when they want nothing to do with you.
It's not easy to say I love you when you know they don't love you.
It's not easy to say I love you when it's been a consistent battle to
remain friends.
It's not easy to say I love you when you always choose guys who
make you feel less than you are.
It's not easy to say I love you when I have been waiting four years for
you to feel anything for me.
And it certainly is not easy to say I love you when there is an ocean
separating the two of us.

I don't love you because I need you, I need you because I love you.
Love is not a feeling, or an emotional connection, or an opportunity not to be alone.
Love is dedication, a choice to knit your heart and soul to another because
nobody else can compare to the joy, peace, affection, and trustworthiness that you have.

So I love you. I love you. I love you.
You may never read this, but it's the deepest part of my love for you.