Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Oct 7 · 395
just realizing that
In this life you can meet someone
and then unmeet them in the process of time.
There will be days you will long for their presence,
and days where you wished you never met them at all.

In those paradoxes of life, I have found much meaning.
That life is meant to be lived and that it meant to hurt.
We are truly alive when we feel certain emotion, every emotion.
Every ups and every down reminds us of living the life.

That life is pretty and at the same time messed up,
That there is beauty in sadness,
and there is danger in too much happiness.
nothing much in mind lately, but these thoughts circling back as I am reminded of how I only write when everything in me is falling apart.
tabitha asiana Oct 2023
to the friendship or whatever it was we once shared,
to the memories we've created,
to the stories we told each other ,
to the life we've lived together.
i hope life brings you joy and fulfilment,
that despite things ended between us,
and changed the way we live our lives.
i hope you find the joy you were once seeking,
the company you've been wanting,
and love you've been waiting.
truly wishing and praying you best in life,
even if what once was a dreamed relationship,
become the nightmare we both wanted to escape.


from an old friend
Endings are beginnings too, I am beyond grateful to have shared life with you yet I would prefer to continue life by myself. This is me saying goodbye, letting things flow the way it is, and knowing what truly am I in your life. Goodbye to the person I once shared more than half of my years.
Apr 2022 · 1.6k
she
tabitha asiana Apr 2022
she
she used to breathe poetry
out of sadness, out of heartache,
out of everything that hurts.
but now she speaks words
that give light and life,
words that encourage,
words that fills someone's
soul with gladness.
she is you.
Nov 2021 · 125
my love
tabitha asiana Nov 2021
I never get to say good bye
So my love,
I'm letting you go.

I'll never dream of a second
chance with you,
Nor imagine and pray
that it will be us again one day.

I am letting you go
in my imagination
in my cliche poems
in my everyday writings
and mostly
in my stubborn heart.

I hope you fly high
I hope you reach for the stars
praying and hoping you
get the best in life.

I love you
for the last time.
— little by little and day by day maybe I won't look for you in everyone that I meet. It's gonna be a long road but this will be fine.
Aug 2021 · 852
Dearest Nelane
tabitha asiana Aug 2021
I see you as the sea
sometimes in deep calmness and sometimes in raging waves
Its waters only touches my toes when i have to deal things on my own
Other days it covers me all over when i need so much comfort

Just like the sea i feel safe and at peace
I can always comeback when needed
I can be both silent and loud, I can mourn and rejoice
I can be anything I want and express everything I feel

Just like the sea how the sea listens to my silent cries
You have sit with me in one of my darkest times
I have spoken my all yet you never judge
Asked silly questions yet never questioned my intentions

I remember you in every gigantic gifts that passed before me
lavish yet very intricate to details
I remember you in big and small things
Whether it'd be vitamilk or rolex
I remember you to be both spender and money keeper

I remember that you are not the woman of things in between
You either give little or too much
emotionless or too emotional
never speaking or never stop arguing

I can describe you with a whole lot of different things
But you define you,
A reminder to be gentle with yourself.
I love you and I will forever do.
tabitha asiana Aug 2021
I’ll think of you, of our memories together

of your hands entwined in mine

of morning kisses and tight hugs

of the love you once told me forever.

This will be the last time I’ll ever ache for your loss.
another writing written in 2017
Sep 2018 · 760
I Don't Know
tabitha asiana Sep 2018
It’s already 3 in the morning
My eyes are still wide open
I’m not even yawning
I’m not even doing anything

Staring on the ceiling
Right there I saw my world crashing
Right there I saw myself drowning
Right there all I want is sleeping
Sleeping and never waking.

Sadness lingering around my body paired with the emptiness that wasn’t evident if you saw me,
It’s here, right inside this ugly mediocre body.

I beat myself every night,
Thinking is tomorrow really worth to survive?
My day goes by “yes I’m fine” when it’s actually “help me, I’m dying inside”

All I could ever think is to die
Dying fascinates and scares me at the time
Questions began to arise,
“It wouldn’t hurt that much if I leave everything in this world behind, right?”

It’s so unusual that one day you feel nothing,
And then the next couple day suprise, you feel everything
And when I think everything’s okay
There someone somewhere saying “something’s wrong today”

You think this is the day you can justify you’re definitely happy
Only to realize that later at night in the four corners of your room you’re incredibly lonely and empty.

And to be honest I don’t know why I feel this way,
One thing I know for sure there was missing inside me,
I couldn’t possibly pin point what could it be,
So I’m trying to fill it with thousands of possibility,
I ask myself “Am I going to be like this day by day?”

I never understood myself then,
Was there something wrong with me?
Was I over reacting?
Or this is really the real me slowly unraveling?

I couldn’t tell anyone what I feel
putting my feelings into words is so much to deal

But then I tried,
I tried telling them I’m dead tired.
And only to get “It’s all in your mind.”

They would say be positive
Or look on the bright side
I hope it’s that easy,
But it’s not, right now my mind is way way messy.

And how I wish I could control what I think,
And when a toxic negative thought felt like coming,
I could let it go away in just a blink.
But it’s not.
It doesn’t go that way.

I’m crying each night, crippling my own heart.
To the situations I am trying to brush away so hard.

I’m maybe the one to blame.
For the thoughts that hardly keep me sane.

And then one day I get used to feeling not okay.
I get used to the hole living inside
To the devil that’s speaking in my mind.
And lastly, I get used to telling people I’m wonderfully fine.

But I couldn’t help but to hope
Hope that one day
All of these ******* would go away,

hope to go back to the old me,
Positive, spontaneous, happy and carefree.

— The End —