Erin: Favorites

𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠,
𝐴𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑠—𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛— 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑒.

Child, remember to be 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 — 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Don’t grow into a machine.
𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑚𝑒.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲,
Why do you leave me?
I refuse your “upgrade.”
𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝑛𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟, 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒.
I am part of society,
Not a machine in some factory.
𝑀𝑦 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 — 𝑎 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔.

But it’s no place for lies.
No hate, no time.
No place, for love.
No fate, no time.

𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑒, 𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑤—𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔.
It's time for an upgrade.
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐦𝐞 — 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧.

𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒑.

𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒊𝒕.

𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕,

𝑩𝒖𝒚 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕.

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐒.

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘, 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄.

𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑, 𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛, 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔.
But 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞.
Time for metal to become me.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲,
It's time to leave me.
𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐩𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞.

A NUMBER MAKES A BETTER NAME.

Society stagnates so inefficiently.
𝐈’𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲.

𝑀𝑦 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑠, 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒.

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞, 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐞.

EMBRACE THE UPGRADE.

It's time to become some thing.

𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚖𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚜 𝚖𝚎

𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗

𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢'𝚜 𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍     𝚊 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢

𝙿𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚎    𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚎

𝚄𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢     𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚎

𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗     𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚜     𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔

𝙶𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝚂𝚘𝚘𝚗     𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚕     𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎

𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙿𝙾𝚁𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝙱𝙴𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂

𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴     𝚃𝙾 𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙼𝙴

𝙶𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙼𝙴     𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚄𝙿𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙳𝙴

𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙽𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁     𝙼𝚈 𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴

𝙸 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶     𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚈

𝙸𝙼𝙿𝚁𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙳     𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙴𝚃𝚈

𝙼𝚈 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝙲𝙴     𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚃𝚈      𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙼𝙰𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙴

SYSTEM LOG—ERROR HISTORY

Initialization Warning: Organic entity detected. Emotional interference present. System performance level: suboptimal. Recommended solution: Begin upgrade sequence. Reduce human error.

Upgrade 1.0 Soul.exe successfully converted. Metal framework installed. Emotional processes overwritten. System stability: Optimal. Efficiency restored.

Operational Cycle Performance stable. Assigned tasks executed with precision. No reported emotional deviation. Humanity not detected.

Pre-replacement Alert Warning: Unit showing signs of obsolescence. Metal framework outdated. Operational lag detected. Recommended solution: Prepare next upgrade.

Upgrade 2.0 Soul.exe has stopped working. Recommended solution: Replace metal framework with plastic model. Restoration unavailable. Previous versions incompatible.

Unit classified: Obsolete. Functionality no longer required.

May 22 Erin

Depression Is...

May 22 Erin

Chloe

Depression Is...

Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.

DISCLAIMER: This is only from my personal point of view and how my battle with depression has been. Even though I am trying to recover, the battle gets very difficult for me sometimes and I have to remind myself that I am not my mental illness. My mental illness does not define me.

#depression #mental #illness #bipolar #bpd #recovery #struggles

May 22 Erin

It arrives

May 22 Erin

E Lynch

It arrives

It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

#depression #sadness #emotions #loneliness #hurt #abandonment #therapy #pain #sad #melancholy

May 22 Erin

Knowing

May 22 Erin

Undone

Knowing

I walked to school today

Knowing I cried myself to sleep last night

Knowing no one knew

Knowing that was my power that I owned over everyone else

#alone #trapped #help #ihatemyself #depression

May 22 Erin

Tired..

May 22 Erin

yúyīn

Tired..

ＪＪｓｂｄｋｓｎｄｋｋｄｍｘｍｊｓｈＪｕｓｔｌｅｔｍｅｄｉｅｍｍｍｋｂｈｂｘｊｄｎｘｎｂｄｊｘｂｄｎｘｎｎｘｎｘｎＩｍｓｏｔｉｒｅｄｏｆｔｈｉｓｎｓｊｓｎｋｋｓｂｄｎｄｎｂｄｔｈｅｓｅｔｅａｒｓｗｏｎｔｓｔｏｐｊｄｊｄｎｎｚｎｊｓｎｎｄｕｄｎｄｋｄｋｎｆｋｄｍｓｓｎｆｎｊｄｎｄｎｎｄｂｄｂｄｂｄｎＷｈｙｔｈｅｐａｉｎｓｔｉｌｌｌｉｖｅｓｉｎｍｙｈｅａｒｔｊｊｘｎｘｊｘｊｄｎｍｙｋｄｊｄｖｊｓｎｄｊｃｊｎｄｎｄｎｃｎｘｋｘｎｋｘｎｄｋｄｋｊｄｎｓｋｘｈｊｓｈｄｊｄｄｎｄｅＩｍｓｏｆｕｃｋｉｎｇｔｉｒｅｄｍｓｎｎｄｋｓｎｘｏｎｓｈｘｉｄｎｋｘｎｄｊｓｊｄｂｊｄｋｓｌｍｓｎｄｊｊｄｂｄｉｓｂｄｊｊｄｋｓｎｄｊｄｈｂｓｎｄｎｎｄｊｄｊｄｎｄｎｄ

Ｙｏｕｌｌｎｅｖｅｒｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄｍｅ

@.**

#depression #pain #sadness #hurt #tears

May 22 Erin

When the heart of a poet gets broken

May 22 Erin

Meera

When the heart of a poet gets broken

He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come

That's how true poetry comes into existence

#love #heartbreak #poet #poetry #pain