the eyes
that glared
daggers
into my heart

the lips
that spilled
sweet words
but left
a scar
on my mind

the hands
that inflicted
pain
that seems
to be
everlasting

why do i
bless the hands
that hurt me
over
and over
again

in the name
of god
i was
demonized.

i bled tears
from lashes
of the
outrage of
my mother
who recited
verses
when i was
buttered.

my cries
echoed
in the
hollow walls
of my
father's
beating heart
as he
uttered
blasphemous
monologue.

it was not
sin
i was
absolved of,
but rather
of love
that i
desperately
needed.

the day came
when i thought
that Love
wouldn't come
knocking
on my door.

i opened it,
expecting
my knight
in shining armour,
but all i saw
was a mirror
and a goddess
holding it up
to me.

she was smiling,
even if
my flaws
were brought
to light.

here,
here,
and here.

she said,
what a beautiful
being i am.

shining her
light
upon the shadows,
all i saw
was a hurt child,
wanting to be
loved
and feel loved.

she embraced me
as i embraced
myself.

love.
She changed me.

how saddening
is it
to know that
the form of love
we yearn for the most
is something of
equal value
with its other kinds?

how dare
the media
the people
the society
***** my mind
with such lies
that romance
is not all
bells
and whistles
of mankind?

her body shines
and twinkles
under the moonlight.

her hair cascades
over the sheets
and into oblivion.

her hands bring forth
a beautiful melody
of pleasure
derived from pain.

back arching like the sunset
over the sparkling sea--

"come before me."

you keep being told
that you are
worthy of love,
but you keep
on refusing
what you deserve
because all that
you've ever known
is pain.

confounded
and always so lost,
you don't even know
if shedding your
years of tears
is worth spilling
onto the floor.

inflicting pain on your own,
before anyone else does.

no matter how much
i try to keep
holding on,
change my ways,
and look in the
******* mirror
that i hate so much,
i just can't see
a different
kind of me.

crying myself
to the temporary
peace of slumber,
sometimes i wish
it would last
forever and ever.

don't you get
too close,
for i lose all
common sense
when i no longer
see the light.

i'm sorry.