tw self harm


Ha... I’m bleeding
Once again
I can’t even feel it
Should it hurt?
Have I gone numb?

Ah... there we go...
A bit of sting....
And the red....
All that red....
I just.... I wanna open it
I want it open.... flowing
I want the blood out of me
I want it out!!

Depression crawls into my head
I try to lie down
To quiet the chaos
It gets louder
Demanding to be noticed
My stomach turns
My head aches
My hand reaches for the blade....
I don’t want new scars
I do not want new scars
I DO NOT

One more time
Would you say that again?
Please?
Tell me.
Tell me I’m beautiful.
Tell me how much you want me.
It’s... it’s lovely
It’s intoxicating.
And I’m an addict.

That’s it
That’s what I wanted
That’s what I’ve been looking for
You’ve got me so high...
I realize how dangerous a drug this is...
This game I’m playing...
How do I stick to my beliefs
When you just make me want more...?
I want you to hold me
And don’t you dare let go.

I’m just an addict
I let you become my drug
My high, my fix
I needed you
You wove yourself into my brain
You coursed through my veins
I just wanted more of you
And I knew I’d hit my limit.
You made sure I knew
But I wanted more

Then you left

You left me broken
Weeping
Weak and shaking
Desperate for just a little bit more
Anything to ease the pain
Of this withdrawal

You changed me
You rewired me
You left your essence in my brain
And I can’t get you the hell out

You cut me off
And I still haven’t decided
If that was for my own good
Or a cruel necessity to save yourself
But I guess all I can do now
Is try to get you out of my system

You always hear about the highs
The addicts, the junkies
Begging for a fix
Their next high on their mind

But I... I seem to have another problem
Though, don’t get me wrong
I know I’d easily find myself
Enslaved to chemicals
If ever anyone offered them to me

I am one addicted to the lows
Begging to hurt again
A *******
Finding solace and comfort in pain
Deeply needing to suffer

I search for it
I long for it
I allow my mind to dwell upon it
Because I like it
I like it when I’m suffering
I like it when I’m in pain
It’s familiar, I know it
This is home.

So it would seem
I am an addict in my own respect
Craving the intimacy of my lover
My intoxicating pain

tw suicidal ideation



My how exciting a thought...
To finish it
In one brave motion
Taking the blade to my wrist
Watching garnet pour from my flesh
Til my head gets dizzy
I feel weak, faint
So I lie and wait
For the embrace of darkness
As consciousness fails me
I finally escape this ****** corpse