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 Sep 2014 Emmanuel Coker
Victoria
Amidst my endless dwale
I rise from dimpled vale,
A stale aubade
from chasm broad
doth lull the mad travail.
The brilliant glow o'er
mountains cascading below
Endulges the golden
towers of wheat
and brings sabasim 'pon the dale.
falling for you was like
jumping head first into
the deep end of a pool.
I knew I shouldn't
because the water was
too cold and too deep
but I did it anyways,
because I wouldn't mind drowning myself in you.
When I was a kid
I remember watching the comedy channel
Not in my own house, mind you
My parents were too smart for that
When I was a kid hanging out at my friend's houses watching the comedy channel
I remember
A slogan
Time.  Well.  Wasted.
And I remember thinkin'
"Oh!  Yea!  I like that!  Imma sit here a lil' longer!"
I was just a boy at the time and that's as far as the thought got
About a half-hour later we decided time was better wasted building gigantic, man-eating snowmen.
Eventually I went home
I wasted some time arguing with my parents about schoolwork, ate a bowl of cereal and wasted the next 8 hours in a comatose
I woke up to waste the next several years of my life figuring out how to waste the NEXT several years of my life
Somewhere in there someone told me I should do what I feel called to do so I wasted time waiting for a sign of some kinda magicy, Jesus voodoo
While I was waiting I wasted time reading Ecclesiastes and learned about what a waste of time it is to read Ecclesiastes
So I tried filling my time with all the things that weren't supposed to BE a waste of time but then I didn't have any time so I fell flat on my face on the edge of the vortex that is the human condition!
And I cried, "God!"
"Why do you waste your time with a foolish and selfish sinner like me?"
And the almighty, holy, infinitely incomprehensible, incredible God of the Universe replied
"Time.  Well.  Wasted."
Your presence lays within the smell of rain
and
all its transparent beauty.
God is closer to you than your jugular vein
There's no good
no bad.
just whatever may be.
You can scoff at that,
or laugh
at me.

But I know,
you want to know
why thought
is key.
Because emotions
are a reality
you cannot
see.
Depths of self death
Never loved self
unless,
self loved someone else first
now self be depressed.
nobody gonna love you
until you do.
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