I cry
Not for me, not for you
Not in sympathy nor in pity

I cry
At how easily I can put up a blank face
And not hide behind that fake smile

I cry
Because of the repetition and
every thing I N B E T W E E N

I cry
The mental and physical, tearing me little by little
Each time, only to be scarred

I cry
Because this is making me stronger,
But still hurting, for each new second

And it will be ok when you walk away because
Maybe that’s me
And our temperamental interaction
Was a simple distraction
And a waste of gas.
This too,
shall pass.

c.e.m.

Dear Blank,
I left your name blank because I don't know who you are,
or where you are.
Are you near, or are you far?

Dear Blank,
Sometimes I wonder if I truly need you,
Or if I'm better off on my own.
But I am scared: will you lift me up or hold me down?

Dear Blank,
Will I ever find you? Are you really there?
Or are you just a memory, and idea, a question--
A question, with no answer, or confession.

Dear Blank,
If I search, will I find you?
I would call out for you, but I don't know your name,
And all I see surrounding me is more of the same.

Dear Blank,*
Are you really there?

i’m always all too conscious
of moments hanging in the air
like watching helium balloons slowly
fall down the wall to cover the ground,
i keep stepping on them till they pop

like looking out the window once the suns starts to set
and you can’t see the light fading, but then you
blink and you’re sitting in a dark room

sitting next to you
with eyes closed and breath held
in a moment
that doesn’t feel real

like i’m looking down at the earth
while standing on the moon

and i know i’ll miss it once it’s gone,
but i can’t seem to figure out
how to freeze the hours that feel like seconds
passing by and

then it’s time
to leave and i held your hand
while you drove me home,
thinking about how real everything felt
with the lights blurring past on the interstate,
how i wanted the road to go on forever,
watching you rap stupid songs and
talk about how to feel grown up
without really growing up
and then suddenly

it was gone,
like it was never there

and i sat on my bed
wishing i could walk back into
the hands on the clock and
your hands on my face, but it
disappeared, floated up to the ceiling
carrying my heart with it

and all i have now are
memories that feel like dreams

to play back in my head
until time fades back into you.

Your smile is too bright
Your eyes too pure
You are the light
I am the disease to your cure

Your perfection is stunning
Your curves assault my eyes
My heart is running
The shadow of pride in me dies

Every accomplishment shrivels
Before your naked glory
My crooked heart bristles
Knowing you stand before me

Your gaze is rapture
Your touch is bliss
My soul encaptured
In her sweet kiss

I am empty.
This pen has run all out of ink.
After all, aren’t there only so many ways
You can scream “sorry” to the wind?
A finite number of variations on
"Miss you," whispered into the infinite silence?

You are no more than an echo on my bones
But that knowledge does not keep me
From laying open skin and muscle
Layer by layer, baring my bones
Like some garish xylophone
And clumsily tap-tap-tapping,
Trying to recreate the faint melody
That hovers in the twilight of memory
Nothing more than a vague outline
Nearly blending into the horizon

You are no more than a ghost in my darkened corners
And still I chase your insubstantial form
A will-o-the-wisp that draws me into the marshland of my mind
Looking to catch the faintest impish flash of blue-gray mischief
Pursing the shadowy figure in hopes that this time—
This time!—
It will prove more substantial than the vanishing mist
My arms have closed around, every time past
Once again I pick myself up out of the mire
Trying to brush off the clinging regrets
And plod back towards the path
Feet dragging and leaving furrows in the ground
Like an empty pen, still scratching its way across a barren page
Determined to ignore any more dancing lights in the distance
Knowing all too well that the resolve will only last
Until the next one flickers to life and calls me into the darkness

I am empty.
Nothing more to say about reckless dreams of forever
No reason to keep staring downriver
Wondering how far that ship might have sailed
Had I chosen to remain at its helm through rocky waters
And yet, when I look back at the blank page
I discover that the pen wasn’t empty after all
And the trail it left behind
Still spells your name

I won't deny it
If you ask me
Cause we both know it's there
It's plain to see

My feelings altered
A little bit
I think I loved you more
After I ended it...

If I asked,
Would you take me back?
If I asked you to really love me,
Could you manage that?

I don't know how to say this
And now I don't know what to do
I cannot believe I gave you up
Cause I honestly do love you.

So love me please
I'm begging you
This love will grow
I swear it's true

You may not see it,
"You and me"
But I promise
Our love will set you free.

*So let's learn what we can
And do what we must
And instead of "you and me"
We should call it "us"

I cherish you

like the feeling of cracking open
the window on the first day of spring
Feeling the warmth of the sun
breathing in the smell of flowers and grass
hearing the birds awaken from a slumber

I cherish you

like waking in the dead of night
to the sound of a summer storm
Listening to the soothing patter
watching the lightening eluminate
as you smell the damp macadam

I cherish you

like that moment of precipus
before plumetting into sleep
It's a calm filled with ambiance
and warm enveloping bedsheets
that emphasize the taste of mint on your teeth

I cherish you

like hearing a hearty laugh or
putting on a new pair of socks
because the little things
the things we tend to take for granted
was the way I loved you --

the way I cherish you.