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Ella Gwen Apr 2015
I would love
to be the cigarette burn on your arm
the nicotine stain in your lungs, rip
fibres of hair from follicles screaming as
I drench petrol and fiery words on your
body as you trip and stumble and fall
in every which way back down to the ground.

your smiles make me sick.

I want to ***** acid on your supple skin,
singing hydrochloric corrosive promises
which consume us both because now
just right now
all it does is burn me and
you don't even notice.
Ella Gwen Apr 2015
I see a picture of you and it
punches me in the chest, eyes
of night black darkness bleeding
at the corners but your

smile now means nothing; it is directed
to me no longer. Arms so soft and brown
caress a skin other
than mine and you turn

to thinking of her, always. I sit and stare
embroiled in memories
as the print of your hand runs
around and around my head,

the words you once meant that I can
never bring myself to
throw away. The lament of lapsed lovers
sings low and persistent.
Ella Gwen Apr 2015
I looked to him but there he was no longer. It's hard; being
the one left behind. You suspend and watch them trek footprints

to new lands, whilst you sit, stare and surrender, lost in
the memories of all that you built together. It's not like your love

just departs with them either. It burns on, fierce in spite of the
rain on your face and your wishes that it would just stop.

I can hear the whispering of my heart over the screaming in my head.
Make it stop, please, make it stop.
Ella Gwen Apr 2015
I walk through the groves and the singing treetops
silence enrobing every sound, in these places where
people lay still living, under the ground,
for here the grass grows the greenest
and the trees all stand tall, yes
they are gone, but they did not long fall.
Ella Gwen Apr 2015
Oh little bird you were known,
always to be
fastidiously flight-prone.

It seemed to some that I
'was callously disowned',
but birdie they do not know
the pain that I have outgrown,
nor how sweet it feels to
be waking up alone.
He was a Great ***.
Ella Gwen Apr 2015
Once I held the paw of a dog
and gave it something to look at as it died.

Betrayal; he looked to me and I
held
       him
              down.

The drugs that crept through narrowing veins
sharpened their knives inside his skin;
he shuddered. Odd, apparently they are not supposed
to fight this forgiveness, this blessing cyanide disguise.

His eyes never left mine,
though the light lingering flickered
and my hand on his faltered

that instant we were infinity itself
suspended, his tremors humming through my hand

but then I encounter the imminence of
reality, when I saw that he could reach it no longer.

Now I hold still his recriminations on my face
with hands that fall slack, and he waits
at the edges of moments of weakness.

my loyal companion, mans best friend,
such misfortune I was not born a man.
Ella Gwen Apr 2015
Insatiable bile rises at the precipice of ecstasy, undeniably
life lived is a rolling wave of emotion as I rise and I

fall with the sequences of the sun at my back and
these oceans under my feet. One day may I strike a

balance? To arise and not to plunge from these summits,
simply then to collide with the challenger deep. For now

torn moments do sustain me and drain me; I cannot
win against water whilst water cannot last against light.
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