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 Jan 2018 Ella Gwen
A daisy chain love letter for a love that never was
Wrap it in a silk envelope
Sealed with pure honey
Tie a few balloons to it
And watch as it floats away
High above the candyfloss pillows
Of this cloudy, cloudy day.
She won’t be coming back
 Aug 2017 Ella Gwen
Annie Cynthia
Melted into the soul's pull, is the helpless heart that is sore
Yielding to the devil's embrace
setting free the broken pieces
The cold and tender evenings, shattering what is left

Singing to the soul which sleeps with opened eyes
Longing for the ******* to tie myself to freedom
Letting the wound open
stroking it gently with the bee's feet

What has life taught the ignorant man?
The tongue of false vows and foul talks
The wretched lay awake embracing the sands of sun
The loyal is doomed at the gates of wolfs

Torture is what the heart yearns
The good is denied and the forbidden is desired
For the hearts of this world chases the snake
The snake chases the rabbit
The rabbit, carrots.
 Aug 2017 Ella Gwen
I was driving home last eve
She said,"Ma! Look! Tee hee! They
each other!"
To the left of the single lane,
in the tall golden hay,
sat a couple
She sat with her back to him,
between his legs
He, held her in his arms
as the sun sliced the sky
I stopped,
right on the road
Honey suckle blowing in the late breeze
I watched them,
We watched them
for just a bit
They loved each other

And all I wanted
was to be the honeysuckle
Oh wow! The daily! Thank you! I love you all<3<3
 Aug 2017 Ella Gwen
Arlo Disarray
the fluttering has begun inside my gut, again
that irritatingly charming warmth of feeling something other than sadness

little cracks of light show through the gaps in your teeth when you smile
and I see more than just the stars shining, tonight

I know I can't be right,
but I'm okay with being wrong
if it means I get to feel this
 Jul 2017 Ella Gwen
 Jul 2017 Ella Gwen
Sleeping in your bed, next to you
For the first time
Is far more intimate than I'd like to admit
But the bobby pins on your window sill
Remind me that you are not mine
I am nothing more than a warm body
To slide into when you get bored
constantly reminding myself I am
Good enough, that your indifference
Is reason enough to walk away
But I don't walk away, I follow
The familiar path to your front door
And in a tangle of legs and sheets
I come undone
 Feb 2017 Ella Gwen
It comes on
and he laughs and you laugh nervously along.
(This song saved your life.)
The radio blares the **** of the latest joke, but songs
aren't allowed to save lives any more so you keep quiet.
Music isn't a cure, and The Cure have been long out of style and
it happened
before anyone had ever heard of Twenty One Pilots anyway and
since long before Rose killed herself with a twenty pill crash diet.
it happened
but he laughs and you laugh nervously along.
Those chords saved your life
But "can you believe we
ever listened
to this song?"

The sunset looks beautiful with the windows rolled down
and you wonder how you ever survived this long, anyway.
 Sep 2016 Ella Gwen
I lay on the ground below
the curved hips of the hills at sunset
The aperture of my eyes, my ***, my eyes
and the narrow escape
of mind from body

I am ten again
and they’re calling me falsey
“*******, No bra!”
Shoving them into the lockers
of Holy Name’s pool
My eyes? Brown. My hair? Brown
My body? Invisible, lean and “Leave me alone!
or I’ll punch your lights out!”

Meanwhile, Mom is mortified
but not cause I’m banned from the stupid pool

All I want— is to run bare to the waist
Ride my bike, maniacal  
Be a bird
Swipe ice from the milk truck
Marvel over maggots in garbage
Catch toads, caterpillars, pollywogs in jars

Later, sell lemonade— get rich!
…and pretend…pretend…
till the litany of our names, hollered from the porch
till the street lights come on….

“This is for something you haven’t got yet”
says the matron of the fitting room
Bones in a bathing suit?
What I haven’t got?
or they haven’t got?
will never get—
in their worlds of curtained cubicles
Cause of death:
Strangulation by measuring tape!

In my plaid two-piece
sunburned shoulders, wind-wild hair
By sweat and the afternoon’s imaginings
I built a fortress of sand and stones
to endure forever….

But she— shook the blanket
at the tide’s full reach
Peppered the air with an epoch
Clouds darkening
the wind-torqued sea

Finding my flip-flops, we—
    trudged off…
    into the changing… changing
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