you were like paris in the rain
i buried my love in the moon dust
gave you my lungs so you could breath
gasping for life as everything revolved around me
harmonies waving in and out of our veins
we gave in and took off our shoes
throw your hands back and close your eyes
the heart of the clouds
sun falling on your calves
your hips your ears
wipe the rain on your cheeks away
She was like a blooming flower
That shines every summer.
With the wind
That flows in her hair
And stars that sparkles
In her eyes
And the crescent moon
That curves in her lips
She made everyone
Look to her twice.
No, she is not inlove to anyone
She love that finally,
She learned to love herself
Caught up in the fairytale
Captivated by the dream
I didn’t notice the warning signs
Or hear my subconscious scream
You manipulated & coerced me
Into falling in love with you
I honestly believed we were soulmates
Even when you couldn’t be true
One other woman is all it should’ve taken
For me to walk out your door
Several affairs over two years
And I finally said “no more”
A typical narcissist you are dating again
Finding solace in new supply & old
I know deep inside you’re as miserable as hell
And your heart is heavy and cold
I’ve made it to day 55 of silence
I haven’t attempted to pick up the phone
Of course I miss “us” whatever we were
But I know I’m better off alone.
You poisoned both my body and mind
You have actually broken my heart
Grieving for a person who is still alive
Is definitely the hardest part.
Will my flaws
be the face of me?
Does my past
haunt my future?
If i colour within the lines
will that save me?
When you look at me
What do you see?
Regret is my hunter.
You are the sun that
exposing me under
the question leaves its mark
burning through my mind
do you see me or
do you see my shadow?
at first i looked at you with my teeth barred and i hissed. under my breath i spoke, "great. a room mate in treatment. just what i needed."
i spoke but two words to you,
and then you spoke back.
softness, kindness, genuineness in your voice.
and when you laughed, the little snort you did made me smile.
we shared our stories for those two hours.
people stopped by our door and stared in looking at why we were laughing so hard, and then they laughed because we were contagious.
we shared the same issues, and made light of our situations, finding love and comfort through one another.
and when i cried, you swaddled me and fed me words of peace and wisdom.
when it was a hard day we had to ability to place our hands on one another backs and say to the other, "hey, i know today was hard, but I am proud of you." And when she was proud of me, I was proud of me.
I was proud of her.
I was proud of us.
And she was my best friend, and the amount of times we repeated the words, "i love you, i love you, i love you." to one another. Is unimaginable.
But, as all good things do, everything started to fall apart.
Or maybe just I did.
I said things I regretted.
I hurt my best friend. The person who I loved, and in turn hurt myself.
I loved her.
Oh my gosh I loved her. I'm not gay, at least I don't think I'm gay,
but i loved her more than any pulsing, living, breathing thing on this planet and I know they say soul mates have to be romantic but why can't they just be your best friend?!
And when we parted and I didn't get to touch her skin again, it's been what seems like years now, it's as if the winter came early.
A darkness fell upon me and oh it was dark.
Darker than her hair.
Her sense of humor.
And now we rarely talk.
I love when I see your name pop up on my phone, the purple heart emoji next to it, that's my favorite emoji, I use it for the best people.
And I fucking hate it, too.
Because I can't put into words how sorry I am.
How much I miss you.
How much I need you right now.
Maybe I loved you so much because you gave me the feeling of importance that no one else ever did.
I can't put into words that you were exactly what I wanted in my life and now you are gone and I can't get it back.
maybe I just did.
Someone please help me set free
The poet that resides within me
It's so hard to put my thoughts to pen
Even if I can now and then
All I can do is write from the heart
But it's difficult to know where to start
When I lack the creative spark
And its tearing me apart
So I fall back on these rhyming tools
Play the fool, trying to be cool
It's hard to write poetry
When I cant even see
What's inside the real me
You’re going to find yourself alone.
You will be in a hospital room
Or in the backseat of a car
Or on a park bench
And you will have decided you’re alone.
You will have convinced yourself
That there isn’t anyone in the world
You can trust.
not the clothes on your back,
not the air in your lungs.
You will have made yourself alone.
And you will pay for it with the same currency
With the same realization
And you will stand up
And declare war on yourself
For the way you have been treated
By no one.