My eyes, rarely raining
get misty at specific times
as do the Redwood Trees
come morning time
and I, when I get around talking
about my parents

Blame it on the Onions
I love when plants demand things from me
like crying or prickly tingles
from a stinging nettle plant
getting slapped on the skin of my neck
and so painful sensations even out

Now I let myself feel more
ground my feet and hands on the forest floor
have a moment in the silence where
the stunning beauty around me becomes a background
like unhappy people on vacation
distracted
and then I'm back in the hotel room
alone
at least, thankful for comfort and warmth

We met in the place Allan Watts had his lectures
And Henry Miller sat in the corner brooding,
Writing brilliance
Decades ago
I imagine Joan Baez washing rust off her skin
Overlooking the ocean
Diamonds in her eyes inspired by "sin"
In the same place we spoke about men
And I remember my male friend leaving
Because this conversation was not for him
Debating about ****** relations, you taught me
To ask my body if I wanted to go all in
Close your eyes
Checking in with the root, navel,
stomache, heart, throat and mind
Visualizing the act
Do you really want him to be inside?
And when I did this exercise
the answer was NO

Then I met another man
And did the same exercise again
This time, every time I thought about his
Entrance anywhere
My body throbbed, tingled, and rocked
Into the greatest guitar solo
I've ever felt
My body ever played by his fingers
My neck tuned to his mouth
YES, he may enter....
The greatest desire

This phenomena that harms me, unrealized for so long
get through it and don't think about it
practiced that way as a child
like a birth mark, marking genetic weakness
Present physically with no deep thought involved
Time and Demand made its way over in an ambulance truck
over and over again
because Life wanted to live
Benadryl you have always been my best friend
giving me the grace to overcome it
Focused now, I think about your progress
a **** in the garden relentless it grows
Attentive now, to aspects of this changing and moving
towards a solution
Aware of it's possibility
Great reason to believe this question will lead me to the largest
expansion I am meeting to know
How can I stop poisoning myself?

Smokin' THC not ***, nor DMT
with an EMT on the PCH
and I'm feeling GREAT
Oh Lord, I won't get the answer tonight
Because the question needs to be right
Not Why, but to know HOW

And that's why I took for a drive...

Smokin' THC not MET, nor OXY
in NYC on a balcony with company
and I've known people to hurt their bodies
Sometimes
and that's why I took for a drive...
So long!
I really got so far
so far from them addicts
Oh Lord, I won't get the answer tonight
Because the question needs to be right
Not WHY
I need to know how...all this time...
searching for why
always been wrong, so long, so far gone

To search for why is what grips the sand
But how will get me to understand
How to Love, and I drive for love

Smokin' THC on the M.I.C.
treated VIP like an MVP
cause I'm singing for Love
Oh Lord, give me the answer tonight
Ganesha, give me a smart place to run
Oh sky, Give me the strength to fly

Of all the roses in the garden
You have grown the farthest
Thorns hiding and waiting
To be touched
I will teach my child to look
At needles this way
Courageous at the Doctor's office
She will know some ****** can be satisfying
I will not pluck you
From your perfect environment
As a sentiment or sacrifice
For a lover who will eventually leech

Swimming in a bed of roses,
Cuts and scrapes appear where they land
Like sea shells that yearn for the Mother
As they are swept up by greedy hands
And placed in a bowl of other sea life
Used for vanity a misplaced home
Like little girls with the potential to be EVERYTHING
Without guidance, led into a hypnotic factory
Forget the wild, purpose, or being free
They become artificial flowers that never die
My child, my child
A shriveling flower is a beautiful thing
It lived its life it opened its wings
It was a home to many things
Of all the flowers in the garden
You needed the most water
The Sun knew and cast its shadow side
On your darling face
The moon eased your worries away
I caressed the leaves that were
Weak enough to break
And like the eldest member in my family tree
You were buried in your birth and dwelling place
Gracing the ground with your
Spirit knowledge and blood magic
Spoke of like a dead new born
"So much potential"
"Created so much happiness"
Of all the roses in the garden

As long as you remember we are skeletons
Muscles for strength
Fat for pleasure
Scars for mistakes
Flesh to maintain and indicate age

Define depth from density
breaking bones the last thing to go
As long as you remember we are skeletons
with pulsing hearts
blind we are open to listen
for the gentle message
of DNA long decided
what we want to unfold

When we know our seed
and give our unique plant
enough light and water
a Mother and a Father
we find what we seek

Craniums can't integrate
as easily as we used to
Bones Click
3rd Eye connects
and we get it

As long as you remember we are skeletons
Sometimes we bury them
Or allow the fire to melt us away
The ashes have the final say
As the air takes our breath away
Wet lashes dry in the wind
Someone, somewhere
begins again