Trapping myself in the bathroom
Because its the only time that I can cry
Nobody will assume
Leaving happy but oh, its just a lie

Lying down on my bed
While staring blankly on the walls
So many thoughts running inside my head
Will end up crying like its a waterfall

My heart never stopped shattering
Every hour and every minute of every day
This feeling is really unflattering
Can i just leave and go away?

I don't know what to do anymore
Can my feelings go away with the shore
So that at the end of the day
Finally I can say, I'm okay

You should just walk up to the door now
Go ahead, it’s the only way you can know
They will look at you and see stained surfaces
Only the imagination knows what lies below
You cannot convince a stranger of your past
They nod, wondering how much could be true
Everyone knows we have shaped ourselves
A real friend lets you become someone new
Experience is not how we wish to be judged
Our mistakes prefer the silence of blue deep
There is nothing to see if you forget yourself
Or remember if you see what you can’t keep
A life devoted to becoming duty and toil
You are now where birds gather not fallen
Swaying on swells, limbs and suns setting
And legs swollen with life giving pollen

It's been
1 month
730 hours
43800 minutes

Since I left
Since I walked away
Since I realized, that you,
were not what I wanted
that you didn't treat me
the way you should

I realized, happy
shouldn't be fleeting
shouldn't be just you and I
shouldn't be, just here and there

Now I'm alone
And I'm not sure that's any better.