I choose to walk on this arid rocky road
I sometimes forget where I belong,
in this haziness of unsettled dust
my heart filled with fear all along

Just round the corner I felt
someone somewhere called me,
I realized the turns I had not dealt
have now become an unavoidable trap.

No, I never feared the uphill
life is a struggle, with honesty by your side,
but sometimes things go against your will
mountains crumble and you don't know how to slide.

I believe that day has come near
when a strange smoke will engulf me
and images will start to become clear
and I will know I have reached the end.

It's the strangest thing
To think you're in love
And then in the end
To not really know what it was.
In the end you start to question
"Does love even exist"?
Because I swear I think I would have
felt it by now if it did.
In the end one mans' hurt weighed on you
Reminds you of all the others
And how they all turned out to be
No different than each other.
In the end you see no light
But that's normal and that's okay
Because soon you will see a new light again
And you will forget all this pain.
That smile to come in the future
Will be worth all this mess
And so just remember these things, my dear
When you start to feel down and distressed.

I thought,
Maybe I only wrote when I was in love.
But you see,
I still am.
It's just now he's gone,
And I can't seem to find those beautiful words anymore.

All my life I've been alone.
Sure I've had friends and family,
But no one has ever really been there for me.
I had grown used to it.
Being by myself had become the norm.
I've had two people that I could share my secrets with.
But they could never relate.
They never knew just how much pain I had been in.
I walk around every day with a fake smile.
Until now.
He came into my life.
He turned everything upside down.
He can relate to me.
He knows some of the pain I try to hide.
I trust him enough to share my secrets.
He's been there for me.
The only one that can make me smile for real.
He the only one who can make me stop crying.
He's the only one that can make me laugh during a breakdown.
I love him.
I'm sure I do.
I've never cared about anyone this strongly before.
I like having another emotion then pain...

I fell in love with the mornings
and waking up to breakfasts in bed
drinking coffee only you would know how to make

I fell in love with noon
and the lunches we had together
talking about the latest news over takeout

I fell in love with the afternoons
and the times we spent reading on the couch
eating every word interrupted by coffee stains

I fell in love with the nights
and our stupid little adventures
driving aimlessly and getting lost on the highway

I fell in love with the midnights
and talking to you about anything and everything
watching you stare at my mouth listening to every word

I fell in love with the moments
and everything in between the beginning and the end
wishing I could still spend them with you

I fell in love with the sound of your voice
and the feel of your existence
but I am not in love with you.