His eyes are filled with sadness
And his voice resonates hate.
He may try to mask it, but his smile he can never fully elate.
His heart is filled with longing
And feeling he can not understand
Because he missed his childhood and quickly had to become a man.
He wasn't left quickly, but the time and pain drug on.
The man he visited in the bed was a stranger and his father was long gone.
The goodbyes were not easy and time will make them harder.
His eyes still fill with sadness when he thinks about the loss.
He usually hides the hatred behind a joke and laugh,
A pitied young man on a burdensome path.

I think I hear "I love you" way more often than I think, it's when he gets up in the middle of the night and brings me back a drink.
It's, "do not wake her up, yet" and "honey, go back to bed"
It's how he sits in front of me and wipes away every tear I shed.
It's how he kisses me so sweetly every morning before he leaves and returns to do the same thing every single eve. 
He cuddles up to me so neither one of us will get cold and then he starts of sentences with "so when we are old..."
I think I hear "I love you" more often than I know
It's in the little things, like him watching all my shows. 
It's when we go to eat and he picks my favorite place. 
And how he knows my mood just by looking at my face. 
I think I hear "I love you" in fact, I know I do.
I just hope he never has to wonder if I love him too.

Because sometimes things don’t work out like they should
and people get hurt and
even when you didn’t mean it,
they walk away and you’re left by yourself
dealing with your demons and wishing they were around to tell you everything was going to be alright.


And sometimes apologies don’t change anything.
You act like things are going to get better between y'all
but the days turn into weeks and then months
and before you know it your birthday passes
without so much as a happy birthday text.


Sometimes they find someone who is more important to them than you were
and it doesn’t matter how many times you swore
you would be friends forever, you aren’t.
Even when you have no where else to turn, they aren’t there.
They say they are, but the advice they give is no longer what you need to hear,
but what they think you want to hear.


Maybe every friendship has an expiration date
or maybe I was just a foolish young girl who didn’t think about her actions
or maybe this is just how it was meant to be,
but that doesn’t make me miss you less,
it doesn’t make not talking to you easier,
time hasn’t helped yet,
I just keep hoping it does.

I fumbled through the stations 
And clicked on every song
But nothing met the silence 
Where your voice did belong 

I replayed each conversation
Remembered every kiss
Hoping I would one day stop
And you I wouldn't miss

then you picked back up the music
And my heart began to dance
You always had a special way
Of putting me in a trance 

I'm screaming don't stop playing 
And spinning round and round 
I know if I'm met with silence
I'll crash upon the ground.

You have my heart, you know it
So to it, please be true 
Because it only knows one song now 
And that song is you.

I think it's always been you. 
In the back of my mind.
In the bottom of my heart.
I don't remember making it you.
I'm not sure I ever did. 
It just was. 
It just is.
And I'm afraid, it always will be.