The trap door opened
And out flooded the light
I looked down deep
At the out of sight.

Out spilled loud emotions
And painful thoughts
And noisy truths
And out of sorts

How long had it all been hiding down there?
Suppressed and damp without any air?

I didn't want to be given the key
But now I'm going to re find me.

If poetry is a vehicle
I turn on the engine
Move through to high gear
And take myself away

If poetry is a vehicle
I lubricate the hinges
Wash off the dirt
And chase a sunny day

If poetry is a vehicle
I exhale the toxic emissions
Put away the sat nav
And find my own way

If poetry is a vehicle
It will take me to my destination
But will teach me on my journey
To better days

What a difference a day makes
24 evolving hours
As the earth turns a new leaf
Beauty blossoms from our sours

We found an enchanted key
And put it in the lock
Turned it till the light burst out
And energy began to flock

We tuned back in the radio
To a frequency with a mark
No more long lost crackle
But a station with a spark

The flowers have started to bud
The clouds have started to go
The walls have started to melt
The light has started to glow

Our love has faded like the seasons
and yet....
It cuts deep to think of the reasons.

They are in the very corners of my brain
and like a caged animal..
I retrace steps again and again.

If spring and summer were the very best
then what....
Do fall and winter represent, the test?

But is love like a winter tree instead
.......
The branches are bare, but it isn't dead?

Swinging wildly
With a deafening stroke
Air spilling from my lungs
Making me choke.

For richer, for poorer
For better, for worse
Am I under a spell
Or am I under a curse?

I spiral from strong
To weak in a breath
Solo to dual
I've done it to death.

I love you, I hate you
I feel so much more
I want you, can't stand you
Am spent on the floor.

When will I settle?
When will I know?
Will it be when my heart
Or my head tells me so?

How can I anchor
These pendulum thoughts?
Until then I will be
Out of all sorts.

Sometimes i don't want to be tethered to yesterday
It's nicer to forget
But having eyes wide to the future
Requires retrospective respect

To reach the top of maslow's pyramid
You have to knock down the walls
Reshuffle all the cards
And see where they might fall

Your peccadillo was just a trigger
To the burst of autumn red
I've awoken from my torper
And turned reality on its head.

You left today
But the bed was already empty
You already weren't here
A quiet chasm in the house

I should be missing you now
But I already missed you
You were already gone
Leaving silent spaces like *** holes everywhere

Now I stare at the empty spaces
And wish you hadn't left
In your mind
All those years ago

I took my eyes out
Plugged my nose & ears
Burnt all my taste buds
Avoided touching my fears

I covered everything in a blanket
Of 'it has to be ok'
My main goal to achieve
Every single day

I snuffed all the light out
And let the laughter drown
I squashed all my emotions
Deep deep down

Time to unplug the senses
Untether what is deep and dark
Unlock all the emotions
Release the long lost spark.

When the bomb dropped
I was at the epicentre
With my back turned
I didn't see it coming.

When the sky fell
I turned inside out
And became the earth
My heart bled everywhere.

But over the hill came an army
Carrying no weapons
Their palpable strength like a mirage
Their love blinding like laser beams.

They formed a force field
Lifted me up
Filled in the cracks
And carried me.

Indestructible strength
Unequivocal faith
Infinite power
My army of love.

I lost my essence
My straight talking
Swearing
Sarcastic
Essence

I lost my essence
My crude
Laughing
Hedonistic
Essence

I lost my essence
My deep feeling
Creative
Heart on sleeve
Essence

I'm finding my essence.

You called yourself the villain
But that's not entirely true
It takes two to tango
And turn a marriage blue

I'm sorry for my role
In this tragic play
I'm peeling off the layers
And revealing more each day

I'm not sure of our stories
And how they will evolve
But I'm sorry for our problems
Of which the causes we will solve.

You work on you
I'll work on me
If it is meant to be
It will be.