Erase my mind
I do not want these memories
I do not want to think
Rip out my heart
I do not want these feelings
I do not want to care
Burn my body*
until there is nothing left
I never wanted to exist
I never wanted to exist
&
I still don't
I never wanted
this feeling to feel
to be wanted
To be Free
&
to be
at peace with myself
more than ever
I never wanted
to constantly be in conflict
*with myself
I know that I can never change this
&
All I can do is **** it up and try to learn how to cope with this
I'm so dead inside and yet somehow so very much alive
(old write )