Did I tell you?
I’m kind of quiet… no, really, I am. You should see me around people I don’t know… ha, yes, I know you don’t believe me. I talk my socks off around you. But you’re different. You already know the contents of me… I mean, you may not have read every page in detail, but you get the rough draft. Not many people get that.
“Man, what a stuck-up *****,” they say. “Miss goody two-shoes is too good for us… not all of us are rich like you,” they say.
Oh, how I wish I was any of those things… it wouldn’t sting when they mistook me for anything but the plains. But instead, they see skylines and frosted mountains. I am not as complex. I am not as breathtaking. I am not such a climb.
It’s funny. I have it together—it appears from the outside looking in. On the inside, I’m so tired. I know you know this—but they don’t.
They don’t see 14-hour days, 98-hour weeks, 5,784-hour years… of on-the-go, here-you-can-have-my-time, my peace, my arms, my legs, my soul.
They don’t see that. They don’t see me helping the family when they need food that week… and me not eating.
They don’t see my sore back, my restless nights, or the loneliness that follows endless hours.
I’m the one missing out… and they think I am better than them.
If they only knew how much I wished I could be more like them and less like me… how they are the morning skies… and I am merely a spectacle to their bold colors.
They’re outspoken, carefree, sociable… extroverted. I wouldn’t dare say a word.
I know even then they wouldn’t get me… not like you do.
I just sit back—quietly watching, listening, absorbing… an abused sponge from one too many passes on the burnt pan.
Ha, that’s me.
Still giving my all—in whatever pieces are left of me, trying to shine the world.
Silly I am.
I’m ready to get out of here… or find myself again, and stop smothering my heart.
It’s an out-of-control fire, and my day-to-day has become the dirt.
I think if I exhale in a week, you may just see smoke pouring from my lungs…
I’m burning out.
Can you tell?