I once dreamed of tracing Ghost lines
Now I do in waking life
Shadows catching shape and form of those missing
From those left behind
By candle light you are whispered
When gloaming lays still in the chilled evening air
I remember an autumn, not long ago
That made all those before it
Pale
On Equinox morning I became a wife
Two and a half years later I lost that life
Words fall short
Your arms never squeeze tight enough
hold close enough
Those that hurt
I am not made of paper mâché
I am steel, spider silk, diamond bright
With alligator skin that is all too thin
Don't ask me if I am okay
That word no longer plays a part
Focus on the silver lining
*Not on your broken heart

in a room,
brimming
with people,
I am alone —

sitting at an
empty table,

sometimes, I wish
someone would fill
the seat across from me,
and by sometimes, I mean
that I come here every single day
hoping with all of my heart that it will happen.

but I'm a bride and groom
in black and white. —
I'm an empty beige room with
a spider in the corner. —
I'm a glance with
a deadpan nod. —
I'm a dance where
you shift your weight
without moving your hips...

—

dribdrab fantasy,
peripheral face

When I hold her hand time stops.

he leans towards sunlight
and casts shadows on
tempestuous spectators,
critics of the light,
lovers of the dark.
he sinks moonlight
into, unto, onto skin,
his hands,
la luna's voice,
breathe me,
echo me,
shine.

I've woken up haunted by the ghosts of my own demons.
An ominous presence lurks just outside the edges of my peripheral vision.
The impending chaos hovers over my head like an untapped thunder cloud.
The fragile calm inside my head is eerily similar to an abandoned hospital.
Each room holding the possibility of a new fear,
Threatening to burst forth like a jack-in-the-box.
I know I've arrived.
There's no direction, no forks left in this road.
I must move forward.
My next step will take me right off the edge of this cliff.
I can't see the bottom, but somehow know that once I reach it, I'll survive.
The forces holding me back are the vacuum of a vortex.
******* with all their might,
pulling me back to the past.
That past.
That déjà vu.
That endless pulse of a lifeless cycle.
Just one step.
Inches!
I will myself to move,
Paralyzed in my current existence.
The nightmare is a lie,  
I am awake.
This is the lull,
This is the calm before the storm.

I screamed at my mother
until my voice hurt 
I knew I was crazy
but I was so scared
she looked at me 
like I was
her cup of coffee 
that had spilled
I’m afraid
I can get in trouble 
for being afraid
following the dog days 
when you dogged me 
in all ways 
nothing kept me grounded
I forgot about the earth
heart was electrified
need for sleep unrecognized
I walked towards 
who I left for you 
hoping that if 
I slept with him 
you'd hear about it 
you’d be jealous
when you called me
button 
you were really saying 
you couldn’t join two parts 
without my help
now you can only
text me when 
you’re alone 
unlike when
you needed me 
to keep your hole 
from tearing
apart

We were not made for the world
Dreamers and poets, singers of songs
Try to describe what we see
Before it crushes us
And we hurt for everyone
And we gotta shut it down
Lest we become consumed by the pain
Of another
Not even our own

The city laughs at the proud, confident of their street smarts
They go so far
Infinity goes further
Darkness follows infinity
They will fall into the abyss
Vertigo will take over their mind
Second guessing
This is how artists are born
Subdued by the world
Knowing better than to touch a live wire
While standing in puddles of tears