My wife and I went down to the pub
Just the other day
We thought we’d have a drink and a bit of grub
It was such a beautiful day

Everyone there was in great form
Having a laugh and the craic
But one man did not seem to fit the norm
My dear wife seemed taken aback!

He certainly seemed to be full of the joys,
But looked like he had one too many
he seemed a lot drunker than the rest of the guys
though appeared much happier than any!

I wondered why this was bugging my wife so
She seemed more than a little upset
I asked her “Is he someone you know”
Never expecting the answer I’d get!

She explained he was her ex boyfriend
From about eighteen years ago.
She brought the relationship to an end,
had not seen him for twelve years or so

At the time he was absolutely devastated
He seemed to take the break up badly
She felt guilty about his whole life being wasted
She told me ever so sadly

She heard many stories after they parted
About him out partying every night
She felt guilty he was so broken hearted
But felt she had to do what was right

She heard he took heavily to the drink
Friends told her he went quite mad
But not for one minute did she ever think
Things had got quite so bad.

Friends told her he never really settled down
Went through one woman after another
He seemed overly fond of being out on the town
Always in one pub or the other

Be God says I, after deliberating
Because she was almost in tears
“Are you telling me he’s been celebrating
For nigh on eighteen years”?  

Well it got so quiet you could hear a pin drop
The atmosphere suddenly got much colder
I started laughing, I just could not stop
For six weeks I got the cold shoulder!

The day proved a valuable life lesson for me
I have since learned to keep my mouth shut
The only problem with that, unfortunately
Is that now I have nowhere to put my foot!

Is it not strange, it seems so to me
How much women change after matrimony
When we went steady for every date
She did not spend hours getting ready, was not always late
She was more than happy with the smallest present
She never once nagged me, was always so pleasant.
She always looked great, stood out in the crowd
Always telling her mates how I made her so proud.

A love life so fantastic, every single night
Though marriage seemed drastic it all seemed so right
Yes I was her king and could totally understand
Her constantly hinting I would make a great husband.
I eventually said Yes and we strode down the aisle
All was joy and happiness, for a short while
But then it all went wrong, very unhappily
The honeymoon did not last that long, regrettably

Her nagging was incessant, she was always in a strop
I welcomed the silent treatment; it made the nagging stop
She spent more time out shopping than she did with me
Never stopped ‘til she was dropping, I was facing bankruptcy
Yet when we were going anywhere, (which became a rare thing)
she never had a thing to wear, which meant even more shopping.
Our love life was non existent; she never cut me a break
She seemed to have an almost persistent, night time headache

She let herself go, some days not even getting dressed
She put on a pound or so which had her constantly stressed
She started comfort eating and took to the wine of a night
There was no point in my speaking, it always ended in a fight.
Try as I might, she never seemed to be satisfied
It seems I could do no right, though God knows I tried.
There was nothing I could say, even less that I could do
I thought fondly of our wedding day when our love was true

She never seemed to think of me like she did before
though hand on heart honestly, I could do no more
I tried absolutely everything but it was all in vain
Told her I would do anything to have her love me again
But everything she loved about me, she now seemed to hate
She treated me like I was the enemy, it was all too late
So I walked out the door thinking what an awful shame
vowing never to get married anymore, thanks all the same.

Is it not strange, it seems so to me
How much men change after matrimony
When we went steady for every date
He spent hours getting ready, always looked great
There were always flowers, cards or a present
He listened to me for hours, was never unpleasant.
Always so cavalier, caring and kind
Calming my every fear, easing my mind

A love life so fantastic, every other night
Though marriage seemed drastic it all seemed so right
Yes I was his queen, the love of his life
Which made him so keen to make me his wife.
I eventually said Yes and we were wed
I could not have guessed how he would wreck my head
Where did it all go wrong, it’s a mystery
We were not married that long, perhaps you could tell me.

When did the Boys appear, I would love to know
When they went out for a beer did he always have to go?
He turned into a slob, an awful sight to see
He spent more time in his job than he did with me.
He always seemed so grumpy, I never heard him laugh
When I talked to him I was jumpy, he often cut me in half
Our love life got so boring, I thought it might improve
It was only farting and snoring that made the earth move

The weekends were a nightmare, he was stuck in to the telly
It sickened me to see him there, all dishevelled and smelly
Watching football and racing, though he could never pick a winner
Leaving me to do the shopping, then serve him up his dinner
Around the house he was useless, he never did a tap
He always made his excuses, he talked some amount of crap
He treated me like a maid, he had no respect for me
And all the promises he made I remembered bitterly.

He never seemed to think of me like he did before
When he forgot our anniversary I could stay silent no more
When the mood was right I tried my best to explain
But all we did was fight, it was all in vain
All the things he loved about me, he seemed now to detest
I could not make him love me though I tried my level best
So I walked out the door wondering if I was to blame
But then I married twice more and each one was just the same.

Watched over by magnificent ancient trees
though perfectly placed to capture the sun
surrounded by walls of multi coloured ivy’s
there lies a paradise second to none.
Bright vivid colours, shades and hues
only add to the general splendour
yellows, pinks, oranges, reds and blues
colours any artist would be challenged to render.
There are lilies, marigolds, roses and petunias
creepers and climbers racing down and up
geraniums, pansies, lavenders and begonias
grass peppered with daisies and buttercups.  
All day butterflies, wasps and bumble bees
work tirelessly alongside one another
relentlessly searching for flowers that please
flitting constantly from one to the other.
A wide variety of flowers, plants and shrubs
burst forth from hanging baskets, flower beds and tubs
providing shelter thus becoming teeming hubs
full of worms and snails, insects and grubs.
Birds rear young nesting in trees and bushes
foraging for food amongst the growing throng
blackbirds, finches, pigeons wrens and thrushes
together creating truly melodic birdsong.
A place that transforms long after night fall
when nocturnal creatures have hunting to do
field mice and hedgehogs from the undergrowth crawl
while the odd wary fox occasionally passes through.
Alas for many the garden becomes just another chore
far too busy to see it can offer so much more
never making the most of the opportunity to see
what a wondrous, thriving paradise a garden can be.

A hairy ball of energy
Who loves to run and play,
Whose tricks and tomfoolery
Would brighten any day.
Almost hyperactive,
Without doubt lively,
Incredibly inquisitive,
Exploring constantly.

Chewing on everything,
Peeing everywhere,
Not fond of house training
but slowly getting there.
Extremely mischievous,
Just wants to have fun,
Loves to get pets from us,
Each and everyone.

Yapping so excitedly
At everyone and everything,
Such an incredibly funny
Lovable little thing.
Who looks at us imploringly
With great big brown eyes
That we fell in love totally
Should come as no surprise

This lovely little puppy
Right from the start
Became one of the family,
Captured every ones heart.

Do you think about me every day?
Am I always on your mind?
Each night do you kneel and pray
For one day me to find?
Do you wonder if I look like you,
Have your personality?
If I like the same things you do?
Or if we differ completely?

Do you search for me in others faces
Certain that you will know me?
Do you love going to new places
Hoping there is where I will be?
Do you constantly worry about me?
Wonder how my life has been?
Does your heart ache longingly
For a life that might have been?

Do you worry that you may never
get the opportunity to know me?
That we should be apart forever?
That my face you may never see?
Do you have difficulty coping?
Have a yearning that never goes away?
Do you never give up hoping
That we will find each other someday?

Do you feel a painful gaping void?
That you are somehow incomplete?
Do you feel a longing deep inside
For the day we eventually meet?
Do you question why we had to part?  
Worry I may have forgotten you?
I hope the answer is yes with all my heart
For these are all the things I do.

Standing here on Earth
Both Sun and Moon in the sky
Who, what, where, when, why?