I wage war
That's never been seen before
Is sanity worth fighting for?
I'm not really sure

Insanity?
A calamity?
I call it individuality!

Who is Society
To create this hypocrisy?!?
It seems like such a tragedy
To waste such ingenuity
To dull the creativity

Here I stand,
nothing left to lose.
So now it seems
that I must choose;
To fight on,
a little colder,
Or end the pain,
which would be bolder.
I weigh consequence,
by moon and by sun,
But there's no recompense,
for the things I have done.
This life has been hard,
taken blood sweat and tears.
I've swallowed my pride,
and laughed at my fears.
I've given my all,
and continued to give,
I've been close to death,
but continued to live.
The things I have seen
have been too much to handle,
I wish my past could be
doused, like a candle.
And so I begin, to
doubt my own mind,
Because I find it so hard,
and its so hard to find.
I'll think what I want,
you think what you will,
We could have had more
than a cheap thrill.
All my bones have
decayed into dust,
Because it's hard to be strong,
with no one to trust.
I know that I shouldn't,
but I still wish you the best,
In spite of the hollow
you left deep in my chest.
Here I stand,
still nothing left to lose,
Having eaten up more
of the length of my fuse,
I'll let you decide;
be the one to choose,
If you still think you'd survive
a walk in my shoes.

I try to express myself to you,
But that is not so easy to do.
When I reach out, you turn away,
I don't know what more I can say.
For some reason, still I try,
Until I almost start to cry.

To cry I would have to care,
And that is something I can't bear.
Because I know that you do not,
Regardless of how hard I've fought.
Now I wish I knew just what to think,
When you don't even so much as blink.

From these thoughts I'd much rather hide,
I've always said, you can't hold back the tide.
I wonder how I'm supposed to feel,
Hot as ember or cold as steel?
It seems now that you've made your choice,
I wish you could have heard my voice.

If only I could go back in time,
And be a man and not a mime.
Then maybe I'd have the chance,
To take the lead in this dance.
Only time can truly tell,
Will I ever escape this hell?

You cannot deny me your breath
the warmth I feel on my face and neck
I will die and melt
into the floorboard as a speck
a fleck, picked off by a flea
from me, your heart must not go
it guides my every decision
I mold myself
from your footsteps
the imprint in sifting sand you create with your feet
you cannot deny me your flesh
or this body I occupy will
crumble down folding in on itself
decrepitated it will lay
deflated on the ground
you cannot deny me your eyes
they scream to my ears
and keep me awake
else I sleep through the rest of my life
eyes open but nothing inside.

Intangible like the scent of mist
                                           that was him
Delightful like a thoughtful gift
                                          that was him
Pure as the first tears of a child
                                           that was him
Provoking like revenge fantasies
                                           that was him
Sudden like catastrophies
                                          that was him
Enlightened like the city lights
                                           that was him
Honest like a father's vows
                                          that was him
Vivid like the colored crows
                                          that was him
Distinguished like the sun among all stars
                                         that was him
Detailed like the winter's sky
                                           that was him
The only man that made me cry
                                           that was him

You know what scares me most?
The way you can make me fall for you
all over again with that smile.
How you can make me
curse and cry
whenever you hug her, flirt with her when she's just gonna rip you to shreds.

I'm terrified
of losing control,
changing into something unrecognizable.

I'm scared of being alone.

I am frightened that
I'll be addicted to you,
but you're just gonna **** me slowly.
Of caring too much,
hurting myself...

I'm not afraid to be hated,
I'm used to it.
Too all the terrors the world brings,
I'm just not prepared for this thing
we call
love.
It disgusts me,
yet I wish I have it.
How?