I'm realizing a silence between us,
terrible and infinite
My lips practically beg for death,
anything at all, to escape the
fiery inferno that is you
You don't care as you scorch me,
you barely notice;
i can't seem to let go either
I'm obsessed with getting burnt
I crave the feeling.

I'm burning,
But that doesn't matter.
Because we're burning together.
Liquid courage to numb the pain.
Intoxicated to forget.
Offbeat blood, sent from heart to vein.
Returns with a guest, she just met.

She closes up, leaves the bar clean.
To her apartment, around three.
In bed she lays, counting some sheep,
That mock her, thinking she will sleep.
She hears the crickets’ lonely beat.
Reminding her of creeps she meets.
Sometimes they have a potential start.
But never truly go that far.

Each night dealt with some other cards.
But slowly starts to build up guard.
She puts less time in her makeup.
But drunks continue to pick up.
She joins in shots, hopes to pass out.
But in her head she hears the shouts.
Her heart’s hunger for real love.
Her clouded thoughts rise above.

A newly turned insomniac.
No longer sleeping on her back.
Till curtains peek with starry eyes.
So bright, leaves a forceful rise.
Her sobs like strings of violin.
A void no liquor can fill in.
Despite how much she tries to drown.
The aches resonate with shrill sounds.

Another night, still found no one.
A man enters, two drinks and done.
She questions him, “What is the rush?”
Always pulled into a quick crush.
But never really tends to last.
As he mumbles about his past.
A bartender, like therapist.
As alcohol reveals the gist.

Now drunk and loud, he starts to shout.
Before his crash, he raises doubt.
He talks about, the best he lost.
Always at home, waits for the toss.
She cheers him up, when in a rut.
He gets up again, “That damn mutt!
To see her hurt, curled up in bed.
I held her paw, up till her death.”

The next night, slept pretty early.
He was perfect, brown hair curly.
Her eyes were lost, but not with lust.
Enjoyed his smells, delicious must.
A piece of her, became a part.
Happy to save his sinking heart.
Rescued him, he slept on her rug.
Named Milo, her three-legged dog.
This is one of the sample stories in my new book, "BitterSweet," which has become a #1 New Release on Amazon.

So..there's this girl....
that I cannot avoid,
inside and out,
she is destroyed.

So, this girl...
I see everyday-
it's too difficult,
to live this way.

Sometimes, this girl,
comes close to danger;
igniting my temper-
this close stranger.

Sometimes..this girl...
just needs a friend,
someone to care,
not pretend.

Except, this girl...
doesn't make it easy,
always giving excuses-
big, little sissy.

So, this girl...
a test of my patience,
making it harder;
we have no relations.
Copyright ©2016 Jamie Johnson

The search for words
Leaves me empty and blister-handed
Despair and thought swirl in a voiceless dance
Between my ears and
Any will I've had to speak
Disappears where my breath meets my lips
Guttural instinct has me know
There are things that need to be said
Words to be exchanged
Explanations waiting
Perilously on the edge
Of solving all
And no going back
And yet

Silence. And everything is dead.
 Apr 2016 Corina Gina Papouis
You gave me a jar once.
It was painted black and labeled
"100 reasons why I love you"

Inside were 100 little green papers
with notes and memories
each individual piece reminding me
that I am not all bad.
That not all in the vortex of my mind is twisted
each piece gave me hope
hope I wasn't just a broken glass

The first time I told you
"I don't think you love me"
You looked at me with a face that spoke
equal parts anger and sadness
you told me
"Believe me or not, it's the truth"
And so I did.

Fast forward 3 years and countless lies later
you told me
"I never told you to trust me"
and you didn't
But what am I supposed to think
when you tell me
"Believe me or not, it's the truth"
was that not a challenge?
That somehow, you would prove my skepticism wrong
that even though you knew, you didn't deserve it
you hoped I would give you trust?
because I gave it.
I gave you a lot of things

A lot of things I can never have back
some things I do not want back

You gave me a lot of things too
Hope being one of them.
You gave me hope that I was more
hope that I was enough

You gave me a lot of things.
Happiness, anxiety, sadness, security
a hole in my chest
that hurts more than any piece of steel
run across my skin
a complex that reminds me
that I'll only ever always be 2nd to another
a reminder that I shouldn't trust so much...
not even the people I love.

And you also gave me a jar once
It was painted black and labeled
"100 reasons why I love you"
Inside were 100 little green papers
with notes and memories
but now it seems
they were just 100 little lies
that got the better of me.
Finally writing after so long
the deception rings on.
Like the feeling of being stabbed in the back.
like being tortured in the middle of a football stadium.
Spittin' out blood, wiping away the tears.
Your deception made me crave pain.
Made me swim with my demons.
And you?
You go on wishing death upon everyone you meet.
your ghost never left.
but it never stayed.
It follows me,
just as you once did.
I smell your perfume.
In the elevator.
Up the stairs.
It follows me.
It wont let me forget you.
everything you are.
All the hell I endure.
The pain.
and all I can do.
is laugh.
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